HHS4U: FAMILIES IN CANADA

Nuclear Family

Two parents and their biological/adopted children living together.

This is considered the “traditional” family model in many Western societies. The household usually consists of a mother, father, and their dependent children, all living in one home. This structure emphasizes parental roles and child-rearing within one core unit.

Vertically Extended

Three generations living together (e.g., grandparents, parents, children).

This family structure includes family members from different generations under one roof. It can provide financial support, caregiving, and cultural continuity, and is more common in collectivist cultures or during economic hardship.

Horizontally Extended

Includes relatives from the same generation (e.g., parents, aunts/uncles, kids).

This structure involves siblings or cousins and their families living together or in close contact. It often reflects cooperative living where child care and household responsibilities are shared.

Modified Extended

Extended family that lives separately but maintains close relationships.
Even though they live apart, family members regularly communicate, help with child-rearing, celebrate holidays together, and offer emotional or financial support. Technology and transportation help maintain these bonds.

Reconstituted Family

A blended family with remarried parents and children from previous relationships.

Also known as a stepfamily, this structure brings together children and adults from past relationships into one new household. It may include step-siblings and half-siblings, and can involve complex emotional dynamics and role adjustments.

Census Family

Married or common-law couple, with or without children (Stats Canada term).
This definition is used for data collection and may include opposite- or same-sex couples, and children by birth or adoption. It’s focused on legal or living arrangements, not necessarily emotional

Demographics

 Measurable population traits

These include characteristics like age, gender, income, education level, ethnicity, occupation, birth and death rates. Demographics help sociologists, policymakers, and marketers understand the makeup of a society or group.

Demographic Research

 Statistical study of population characteristics

This research collects and analyzes data to understand population changes over time. It can reveal social trends, such as aging populations or urban migration, and is used to make predictions or influence policies.

Trend

Long-term measurable change in a population

A trend shows a general direction in which something is developing or changing over time. Examples include declining birth rates, rising divorce rates, or increased cohabitation before marriage. Trends often reflect shifts in values, technology, or economic conditions.

Pattern

Repeated behaviours based on social values and norms

Patterns are regular, predictable ways people behave, shaped by culture, expectations, or tradition. For example, the pattern of young adults moving out later in life reflects changing norms about independence and financial stability.

Critical Thinking

Analyzing arguments and questioning perspectives
Critical thinking means not just accepting information at face value. It involves evaluating evidence, identifying bias or assumptions, and making logical connections. In social science, it helps uncover deeper truths about how society operates and challenges taken-for-granted beliefs.

Feminist View on Gender

Gender roles are socially constructed, not biologically fixed
Feminist theory argues that gender is shaped by culture, upbringing, and social expectations—not just biology. This view challenges the idea that men and women are "naturally" suited to different roles, and instead focuses on how power, inequality, and tradition influence gender norms. Feminists advocate for equality and question institutions (like the media, education, and family) that reinforce stereotypes.

A census family includes only biological children

False

Conflict theory sees disagreements as unnatural

False

Studying families is hard due to privacy

True

Symbolic interactionism focuses on shared meaning

True

A trend is a short-lived event

False

The nuclear family is an example of a horizontally extended family

False

Young adults today are more likely to live with their parents

True

A census family includes only married couples

False

Conflict theory suggests family life is always peaceful

False

Feminist theory emphasizes biologically fixed gender roles

False

Overview of the Science of Love

• Love is more about the brain than the heart. it involves chemicals (hormones + neurotransmitters) that affect how we feel, act, and bond.

• Love is complex but can be divided into three stages

1. Lust

2. Attraction

3. Attachement

Lust: The Drive to Reproduce

• Purpose: Sexual desire, reproduction.

• Brain Region: Hypothalamus.

• Hormones:

1. Testosterone: Boosts libido in all genders.

2. Estrogen: Libido increases for women during ovulation.

• Lust is the biological and instinctual.

Attraction: The “Falling in Love” Stage

• Purpose: Focuses attention on one partner.

• Brain Regions: Reward system (includes ventral tegumental area, caudate nucleus).

• Hormones & Effects:

• Dopamine: Pleasure, excitement, motivation ("high").

• Norepinephrine (noradrenaline): Alertness, energy, sweaty palms, racing heart.

• Serotonin: Decreases in early love, linked to obsessive thinking.

• Related to addiction: Same brain areas light up as when people use drugs or binge eat

Attachment: The Long-Term Bond

• Purpose: Stability, long-term relationships, parenting, friendships.

• Brain Region: Hypothalamus and pituitary gland.

• Hormones:

1. Oxytocin (“cuddle hormone”): Released during sex, childbirth, breastfeeding — promotes bonding.

2. Vasopressin: Associated with commitment and protection.

• Supports monogamy and emotional bonding.

What Happens in the Brain?

• Lust and attraction shut down the prefrontal cortex, reducing critical thinking and rationality — "love makes us dumb."

• Areas linked to reward and pleasure become hyperactive, causing excitement but also obsession.

Love Can Hurt Too

• Dopamine dangers:

1. Too much = addiction like obession

2. Related to emotional dependency, jealousy.

• Oxytocin downsides:

1. Reinforces in-groups → can lead to prejudice (ethnocentrism)

2. Linked to reckless behaviour (ex. effects of MDMA).

• Love affects mental control → people act irrationally, get jealous, make poor decisions.

Lust hormones involved

Testosterone, Estrogen

Attraction hormones involved

Dopamine, Norepinephrine, (low) Serotonin

Attachment hormones involved

Oxytocin, Vasopressin

Attraction & the Senses: Eyes

First Step in Attraction

• Visual cues are often the first trigger for attraction.

• Beauty standards vary across cultures and time periods.

• Universal attraction signs: youth, fertility, and health (e.g., long, shiny hair).

• These features signal reproductive fitness, making them desirable.

Attraction & the Senses: Nose

Smell and Pheromones

• The nose detects more than just perfumes it picks up pheromones (natural chemical signals).

• Pheromones share genetic or health info and trigger instinctive responses.

• Testosterone Study:

1. Men exposed to T-shirts worn by ovulating women had higher testosterone levels.

2. Shows how scent can subconsciously influence attraction.

• MHC Molecules (Major Histocompatibility Complex)

1. Women’s noses prefer MHC-dissimilar partners.

2. Why? Diverse MHC genes = stronger immune system in potential offspring.

Example: Women favoured the smell of men with different MHC than their own.

Attraction & the Senses: Ear

Voice in Attraction

• Voice pitch matters:

1. Men with deeper voices = more attractive.

2. Women with higher-pitched voices = more attractive.

• Confidence & accent can increase attraction, regardless of pitch.

• Voice reflects:

1. Confidence

2. Health

3. Fertility (e.g., women’s voices drop after menopause, possibly reducing vocal attractiveness)

Familiarity & Psychology of Attraction

Mere Exposure Effect

• We like what we know.

• Repeated exposure to a person/song/image increases preference.

• Works better when there's a delay between exposure and judgment.

• We’re more attracted to people we see more often, even unconsciously.

Physical Symmetry

Bilateral Symmetry

• People with more symmetrical faces and bodies are often seen as more attractive.

• Symmetry suggests good health and strong genes.

• Some asymmetry is normal, but less deviation = higher attraction.

Oxidative Stress

• May affect body symmetry and overall appearance.

• More oxidative stress = more asymmetry and lower perceived attractiveness.

Personality & Individual Differences

• Coming up next: how personality types influence attraction.

• Physical traits matter, but personality, familiarity, and chemistry often matter more over time.

SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY

People enter and stay in relationships that maximize benefits and minimize costs.

• Rewards
  Things that bring pleasure, satisfaction, or emotional gain
  → Example: affection, attention, support

• Resources
  Anything that can be exchanged in a relationship
  → Example: time, money, skills, love

• Costs
  What a person gives up or the negative consequences they experience
  → Example: time lost, stress, missed opportunities

SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY: Distributive Justice

• Fair balance between what we give and what we get.

• We expect:

1. More rewards for bigger sacrifices

2. Fewer rewards for smaller efforts

• Example: Giving up free time or income to get a college degree = long-term gain justifies short-term cost

SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY: Fairness & Balance in Relationships

• Norm of Fairness
  Are the rewards worth the costs? Is the relationship balanced?

• Norm of Reciprocity
  Is there mutual give and take? Are both people contributing equally?

Principles of Reward Value

• Principle of Satiation

1. A reward loses value the more you receive it

2. Example: Constant praise may start to feel empty

• Principle of Deprivation

1. A reward gains value when it’s rare

• Example: If someone rarely compliments you, when they do, it feels more meaningful

Why Breakups Hurt So Much

Breaking up isn’t just emotional — it physically affects your brain chemistry and body. Scientists have shown that emotional pain = physical pain in the brain.

Why Breakups Hurt So Much: Dopamine Crash

• Dopamine Crash = Missing the High

1. In love: Your brain floods with dopamine (the "feel-good" chemical)

2. After a breakup: Dopamine levels drop

3. Effect: You may feel like you're in withdrawal, crave your ex, or obsess over them

Why Breakups Hurt So Much: Cortisol Spike

• Cortisol Spike = Stress Overload

1. Breakups are stressful, triggering a rise in cortisol (stress hormone)

• Side effects:

1. Anxiety

2. Trouble sleeping

3. Changes in appetite

4. sick or emotionally overwhelmed

Why Breakups Hurt So Much: Low Oxytocin & Serotonin

Low Oxytocin & Serotonin = Feeling Lonely & Down

• Oxytocin: The bonding hormone that creates feelings of connection and safety

• Serotonin: Helps regulate mood

• After a breakup:

1. Both hormones drop

2. You may feel lonely, disconnected, or depressed

Why Breakups Hurt So Much: The Brain and Physical Pain

• A 2011 study using MRI scans found:

  • People recently "dumped" showed brain activity in pain-related areas

  • Secondary somatosensory cortex

  • Dorsal posterior insula

  • This means emotional rejection can trigger the same brain responses as physical injury

The Good News

• Your brain can heal with:

  • Time

  • New routines

  • Support systems (friends, family, therapy)

• Your brain rewires itself — you will feel better again.

LIMERENCE

• Definition: A blissful emotional state (like a crush or infatuation), often mistaken for love

• Feels like: Fear in the body (increased heart rate, adrenaline), but the mind stays fixated on one person

• Short-term high: Driven by dopamine and amphetamines in early romance

• Eventually fades: After a few years, these are replaced by oxytocin (bonding hormone), leading to calm, long-term attachment

When Limerence Becomes a Problem

• Obsessive thoughts

• Emotional dependence

• Idealizing the person instead of seeing them clearly

• Can lead to heartbreak if the feelings aren’t mutual or if reality doesn’t match the fantasy

Sequence of Relationships

Relationships follow a step-by-step process — they don’t go from eye contact to lifelong love overnight.

Murstein’s Filter Theory

Like a sifting process: We "filter" out unsuitable partners through multiple layers.

Stages of Filtering:

1. Field of Eligibles – All possible people of interest

2. Propinquity Filter – People who are physically or socially available

3. Attraction Filter – Based on physical appeal or chemistry

4. Homogamy Filter – People with shared traits (race, religion, class, etc.)

5. Compatibility Filter – Do you get along, enjoy similar activities, etc.?

6. Trial Filter – Testing the relationship (dating, living together)

7. Decision Filter – Deciding to commit or leave

8. Marriage – Final stage for some couples

What might affect someone using the filter method?

• Limited social circle (fewer eligibles)

• Cultural or religious restrictions

• Low self-esteem (may lower standards or stop filtering)

• Past trauma or attachment issues

• Overemphasis on one filter (like looks) can distort the process

Reiss’s Four Stages of Love

1. Rapport – Mutual trust and respect

2. Self-Revelation – Sharing personal thoughts and feelings

3. Mutual Dependency – Relying on each other emotionally

4. Personality Need Fulfillment – Supporting each other’s emotional and personal needs

Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive distortions are irrational or exaggerated thought patterns that negatively influence how we see the world, ourselves, and others. They are common in anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

Cognitive Distortions: Needs That Move You Toward Others

These individuals seek approval, affection, and a partner to take responsibility for their lives. They are often described as needy or clingy and fear abandonment. Example needs: Affection and approval, a partner who will take over one’s life.

Cognitive Distortions: Needs That Move You Away from Others

These needs result in individuals distancing themselves emotionally. They prioritize self-sufficiency and independence, fearing vulnerability or dependence. Example needs: Self-sufficiency, independence, perfection.

Cognitive Distortions: Needs That Move You Against Others

These needs create hostility and antisocial behavior. Individuals are often cold, controlling, or manipulative. They seek power and prestige to avoid rejection or humiliation. Example needs: Power, exploitation, social recognition.

Neurotic Needs

Karen Horney identified ten neurotic needs grouped into three broad coping strategies, each shaped by anxiety and insecurity. These are patterns people adopt to manage relationships and self-worth.

Neurotic Needs: Overgeneralization

Drawing a broad conclusion based on a single event. Example: 'I always mess things up.

Neurotic Needs: Catastrophizing

Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen. Example: 'If I fail this, my life is over. Disqualifying the Positive Rejecting positive experiences by insisting they don’t count. Example: 'That doesn’t matter—anyone could’ve done it.'

Neurotic Needs: Mind Reading

Assuming you know what others think without evidence. Example: 'She didn’t say hi—she must hate me.'

Neurotic Needs: Jumping to Conclusions

Making negative assumptions quickly and without facts.

Neurotic Needs: Emotional Reasoning

Believing that something must be true because you feel it. Example: 'I feel stupid, so I must be stupid.

Neurotic Needs: Minimization

Downplaying the importance of positive events. Example: 'It was just luck.'

Should Statements

Neurotic Needs: Magnification

Blowing things out of proportion. Example: 'One mistake ruined everything

The Attachment Theory

Attachment is an enduring, deep emotional bond between two people that involves the exchange of comfort, care, and closeness. Originally developed to explain infant-parent emotional bonding and its role in reducing anxiety and promoting growth during infancy and childhood.

Why Attachment Matters (Functions of Attachment)

Relational bonds allow people (of any age) to:

• Cope with stress: They help in managing stressful events more constructively.
  
  

• Maintain emotional stability: They support self-esteem and balance.
  
  

• Explore the world confidently: They foster autonomy, independence, and psychological growth.

Components of Attachment (According to Bowlby)

1. Proximity Maintenance – Wanting to be physically close to the attachment figure.
   
   

2. Safe Haven – Turning to the attachment figure for comfort when feeling threatened or afraid.
   
   

3. Secure Base – Using the attachment figure as a foundation to explore the world safely.
   
   

4. Separation Distress – Feeling anxiety and sadness when apart from the attachment figure.

Harlow’s Monkey Experiment

• Demonstrated the importance of comfort and emotional bonding over basic needs (like food).
  
  

• Infant monkeys preferred the soft "mother" even when the wire "mother" provided food, proving emotional attachment is vital for development.

Attachment in Adult Romantic Relationships

• Early attachment experiences create "working models" for adult relationships.
  
  

• How we were treated by caregivers influences how we behave and think in intimate relationships later on (Firestone).

The Four Attachment Styles: Secure Attachment

• Traits: Trust, affection, resilience, good self-esteem.
  
  

• As children: Had caregivers who were available and responsive.
  
  

• As adults: Have a positive view of themselves and others, enjoy closeness, maintain healthy boundaries.

The Four Attachment Styles: Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment

• Traits: Neediness, low self-esteem, fear of abandonment.
  
  

• As children: Clingy, uncertain if caregiver will meet their needs.
  
  

• As adults: Crave closeness but worry their partner doesn’t truly love them; often feel emotionally dependent.

The Four Attachment Styles:  Avoidant Attachment

• Traits: Emotionally distant, avoid intimacy, independent to a fault.
  
  

• As children: Avoided caregivers who were emotionally unavailable or rejecting.
  
  

• As adults: Struggle to form close relationships, downplay importance of emotions, may withdraw during conflict.

The Four Attachment Styles: Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment

• Traits: Want intimacy but fear it, confused feelings, emotional chaos.
  
  

• As children: Experienced fear, trauma, or inconsistent care from caregivers.
  
  

• As adults: Deeply crave connection but fear vulnerability; may push people away or behave unpredictably.

Summary from Dr. Lisa Firestone

• Our adult relationships are directly influenced by childhood attachment with our parents.
  
  

• The way we connect with romantic partners mirrors the emotional patterns learned in early life.

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Lack of Support

• One partner no longer encourages or shows up for the other.
  
  

• The relationship becomes competitive, not cooperative.
  

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Toxic Communication

• Conversations are filled with sarcasm, mockery, or contempt.
  
  

• Includes talking behind your partner’s back or mocking them.

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Envy or Jealousy

• Occasional envy is normal, but toxic envy harms how you view your partner's success.
  
  

• Leads to mistrust and negative thinking.

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Controlling Behaviours

• Constantly checking where you are or who you're with.
  
  

• Repeated texts or anger when you don’t respond quickly.
  
  

• Linked to jealousy or lack of trust.

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Resentment

Bottling up anger over time, causing emotional distance and decreased intimacy.

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Dishonesty

• Lying about whereabouts or hiding things to avoid conflict.
  

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Patterns of Disrespect

• Chronic lateness, “forgetting” plans, or disregarding your time.
  
  

• Even small actions can reflect deep disrespect.

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Negative Financial Behaviour

• Breaking financial agreements or hiding money matters.
  
  

• Spending large sums without consent.

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Constant Stress

• Relationship causes ongoing mental or emotional exhaustion.
  
  

• Stress can affect physical health too.

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Ignoring Needs

• One partner’s desires are constantly prioritized over the other’s.
  
  

• You may stay silent to avoid conflict.

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship:  Lost Relationships

You withdraw from family/friends or feel the need to hide what’s going on.

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship:  Lack of Self-Care

Giving up hobbies, health routines, or “me time” due to your partner's disapproval.

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Hoping for Change

Staying based on past memories or hoping the partner will change.

Major Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Walking on Eggshells

Afraid to bring up issues to avoid tension or conflict.

Can a Toxic Relationship Be Fixed:  Possible Signs of Improvement

• Acceptance of Responsibility: Both partners own up to their mistakes.
  
  

• Willingness to Invest: Desire to work on the relationship and communicate better.
  
  

• Shift to Understanding: Avoid blame, seek empathy.
  
  

• Openness to Help: Willing to try therapy or counseling.

Can a Toxic Relationship Be Fixed: Steps to Move Forward

• Don’t dwell on the past—focus on healing.
  
  

• View your partner with compassion.
  
  

• Consider personal actions that may affect the relationship.
  
  

• Try therapy—individual and couples counseling can help.
  
  

• Practice healthy communication (e.g., “I feel…” statements).
  
  

• Revisit and discuss personal boundaries.
  
  

• Be patient with each other’s growth.

Can a Toxic Relationship Be Fixed: Toxicity vs. Abuse

• Toxicity can involve disrespect, control, or unhealthy patterns—may not always be intentional.
  
  

• Abuse involves a power imbalance and control, often with intent. Abuse is never acceptable.

Can a Toxic Relationship Be Fixed:  Signs of Abusive Behaviour ( part 1)

• Diminished Self-Worth: Partner blames, mocks, or embarrasses you.
  
  

• Chronic Stress, Doubt: Feel exhausted, unsure of your worth or safety.
  
  

• Separation from Friends/Family: Isolating you from your support system.
  

Can a Toxic Relationship Be Fixed:  Signs of Abusive Behaviour ( part 2)

• Interference with Work/School: Preventing you from working/studying.
  
  

• Fear and Intimidation: Yelling, hitting walls, or threatening actions.
  
  

• Name-Calling and Put-Downs: Verbal abuse to control or shame you.
  
  

Can a Toxic Relationship Be Fixed:  Signs of Abusive Behaviour ( part 3)

• Name-Calling and Put-Downs: Verbal abuse to control or shame you.
  

• Financial Restriction: Controlling money, blocking access to accounts.
  

• Gaslighting: Making you doubt your memory or perception.
  

• Threats of Self-Harm: Using threats to manipulate or guilt you.

How Neurotic Needs Affect Behaviour

Where They Come From

• Neurotic needs often come from deep fears or emotional insecurities

• They are defence mechanisms ways we try to protect ourselves emotionally

When They Become a Problem

• The needs become harmful when:

• They are used rigidly in every situation

• They cause anxiety, relationship issues, or negative thinking

• The person relies on them too much and can’t adapt

Common Traits of High Neuroticism

People high in neuroticism may show:

Emotional Symptoms

• Anxiety, irritability, or mood swings

• Sadness, depression, or frequent crying

• Low emotional stability

• Overthinking or chronic worrying

Behavioral Patterns

• Easily stressed or upset

• Sees neutral things as threatening

• Blows small problems out of proportion

• Jealousy or envy toward others

Self-Perception Issues

• Self-doubt

• Feeling self-conscious or shy

• Has trouble bouncing back after failure or rejection

Impulse Control

• Struggles with managing urges or emotions

• May react strongly and suddenly

What emotional reactions do people high in neuroticism often experience?

People high in neuroticism often have:

• Trouble managing anger or frustration, even over small things

• Fear or guilt about minor issues

• Emotional reactions that are intense and out of proportion to the situation

How does neuroticism affect relationships?

Neurotic behaviors, rooted in anxiety, low self-esteem, and a need for security, can unintentionally cause tension in relationships. The person may crave connection but act in ways that strain or push people away.

Why can high neuroticism be annoying to others?

Highly neurotic people may:

• Complain frequently

• Criticize others or situations

• Seek constant reassurance

• Depend emotionally on others

• Overreact to small issues

Example: Asking, “Are you mad at me?” constantly, even when nothing is wrong.

How can neuroticism affect children in the household?

Neurotic adults may model anxious behaviors, teaching kids to see the world as unsafe.
Example: A parent who constantly warns their child about danger may cause them to fear normal activities like playing or exploring.

How does neuroticism contribute to conflict?

Neuroticism can lead to:

• Anger over small issues (e.g., road rage)

• Jealousy or baseless accusations

• Perfectionism that leads to frustration when expectations aren't met

How does excessive guilt show up in neuroticism?

They may:

• Apologize too often

• Obsess over small mistakes
  While well-intentioned, this can become emotionally draining for others.
  Example: Constantly saying “I’m sorry” when nothing is wrong.