Percy Jackson Lines

Percy: Hey Mom. How was your day? Mine was okay. We went on this field trip, I got expelled, I saw some super X-rated art, museums are crazy-

Sally: The headmaster called me.

Percy: About the art?

Sally: About the field trip.

Percy: Are you mad?

Sally: Well, I’m not happy. What happened, Percy?

Percy: So first the math teacher turned into a demon, and then I had this sword-

Sally: You know what, it doesn’t matter. We’ll find another school. Again.

Percy: I’m not a bad kid on purpose.

Sally: Oh, baby, I know. How would you like to take a trip? Just the two of us.

Percy: Is that okay with “Smelly Gabe”?

Sally: I’ll deal with your stepfather.

Gabe: Sally! Where’s my bean dip? Ya tryin’ to starve me here?

Sally: Gabe, there you are… dear. How would you like a weekend without me and Percy in your way?

Gabe: Naw, she likes doin’ things for me.

Sally: I’ll give you a back rub. A… food rub?

Gabe: Both feet. And I ain’t payin’ any of that fancy tuition he wasted. It can come out that money you’ve been hiding from me. Yeah, I know about that. What’re ya saving up for?

Sally: Creative writing classes.

Gabe: Then I’m doin’ you a favor. That’s a waste a’money anyway. If he was my kid-

Sally: He’s not.

Percy: Aw man, has that guy ever heard of showers? Mom… You don’t have to put up with him like that.

Sally: It’s complicated, Percy.

Percy: You always say that. Why?

Sally: Because the truth might mean saying goodbye to you. For good.

Percy: So what is this place? Are you sending me to summer school?

Sally: More like summer camp. It’s just over that hill, past that pine tree. I thought I’d be enough to protect you. But you deserve the truth.

Percy: You’re acting like I’m never going to see you again. If it’s just a summer camp…

Sally: Not any ordinary summer camp. Percy, your father is…

Grover: I’ve been searching everywhere for you guys.

Sally: What is it? What’s wrong?

Grover: You didn’t tell her about the field trip?

Sally: What happened on the field trip?

Percy: And you couldn’t have mentioned that sooner?

Sally: Grover… Is a Fury after Percy right now?

Grover: A Fury? Oh, no no no-

Sally: Oh thank god.

Grover: It’s a Minotaur.

Sally: Oh no.

Percy: Well, I’m sorry if this is a lot to take in right now!

Sally: Boys! Grover, you need to get Percy to the border.

Percy: What about you?

Sally: You’re the one it’s after, Percy. I love you so much. Run!

Poseidon: A hero’s life is never easy.

Sally: Percy?

Percy: Mom! You’re alive!

Sally: You saved me, baby.

Poseidon: Uh, hey.

Sally: Hi.

Poseidon: You look even more beautiful than the night we first met.

Sally: You haven’t changed at all.

Percy: So that’s my dad.

Sally: That’s your dad.

Percy: He told me about Gabe. Mom, you don’t have to stay with him for me.

Sally: You sound like your father. He wanted to solve all my problems too. He even offered to build me a palace under the sea. But you saved my life. It’s time I figure out how to live it.

Percy: I know you’ll be strong, Mom. But if Gabe does give you any more trouble…

Sally: “Care of Aunty Em’s Garden Emporium”?

Percy: Hello, ma’am.

Aunty Em: It’s too late to be out all alone. Where are your parents?

Percy: We’re fine, ma’am, we’re just… Camping.

Aunty Em: In a storm like this? Poor dears! Aunty Em will find you a place to stay.

Percy: She seems nice. Wow. Did you make all these statues yourself?

Aunty Em: Everyone needs a hobby.

Annabeth: I have a weird feeling about this.

Aunty Em: What did you say?

Percy: She said, we really appreciate this.

Aunty Em: It’s no trouble at all. I’ve been ever so lonely. I had a boyfriend once. Sister too. But a wicked woman ruined my life, and ever since then, no one seems to want to see me.

Annabeth: Yeah, that’s interesting. We’re leaving. Now.

Aunty Em: Wait. Your eyes are quite unique my dear.

Grover: Seriously. The detail work is amazing!

Aunty Em: They remind me of somebody. Would you mind if I took your picture? I’d like to create a new statue.

Annabeth: Of me?

Aunty Em: You deserve to be immortalized in stone forever.

Grover: It’s like you can see every individual strand of fur!

Aunty Em: Why doesn’t your friend get in too?

Percy: Yeahhh, I don’t think so…

Aunty Em: Camera shy? A handsome young man like you?

Grover: Interesting choice to have him screaming.

Aunty Em: I think a natural reaction is best.

Grover: Yep, she really captured Uncle Ferdinand!

Aunty Em: Who’s ready for their close-up?

Annabeth: Don’t you need a camera?

Aunty Em: Why use a camera…

Grover: Percy! That IS Uncle Ferdinand!

Aunty Em: …when you have a face like mine?

Annabeth: Close your eyes! Aunty M! For-

Aunty Em: Medussssa! And your mother and I are old nemesis. Nemesessss…. Nemissississss… We don’t like each other.

Percy: Annabeth, run!

Medusa: Sssssuch a brave hero. Jusssst like your father. But trussst me, your quesssst ends here-