Thanatology - Psychology - Chapter 3 & Thanatology - Psychology - Chapter 5

What are the 4 things that a funeral does for everyone?

• It provides acting out ceremonies that give expression to feelings too deep to be put into words

• The funeral is the most accessible and most adequate resource for this purpose (usually most economical)

• Generally understood

• Possessing the resources for meeting the varied social, emotional, and spiritual needs of the bereaved

Explain Item #1

Ceremonies and rituals allow people to express deep emotions, such as grief and love, in a way that words alone cannot. Funerals provide a structured way to honor the deceased, process loss, and find comfort through symbolic actions like lighting candles, sharing memories, or participating in religious or cultural traditions.

Explain Item #2

Most practical and effective way to help people process grief and honor a loved one. It provides a structured setting for mourning, support, and remembrance. Additionally, compared to other personalized memorial options, traditional funerals are often the most cost-effective choice.

Explain Item #3

We understand what a funeral is. Widely recognized and accepted as a meaningful way to honor the deceased and provide closure for loved ones. The rituals and traditions involved are familiar to most people, making them an accessible and comforting way to navigate grief.

Explain Item #4

The funeral service's ability to offer a range of support to those grieving. It includes addressing the social needs (like providing a space for family and friends to gather), emotional needs (offering comfort during a difficult time), and spiritual needs (incorporating religious or spiritual rituals to help people cope with loss). A well-organized funeral service aims to provide a holistic approach to help the bereaved through their mourning process.

What are the 10 purposes and values of a funeral according to the ABFSE?

• Provides an opportunity to receive and express love
• Shows respect to the deceased’s family and friends
• Provides opportunity to express grief
• Provides a face-to-face confrontation with death which
confirms its reality
• Allows emotional support through sharing
• Joy expressed is joy increased, grief shared is grief diminished

• Meets the needs theologically, psychologically, and socially, of those who mourn
• Provides an opportunity for farewell through ritual
• Provides a dramatic representation of the fact that a life
has been lived by reflecting upon memories of the deceased
• Helps establish emotional stability through a social support network
• Establishes a socially acceptable climate for mourning

Advantages of a Funeral

• Each step has its own built-in wisdom for helping people do what is essential for managing death
• It provides the framework for group support

• It makes it possible for people to get together, visit,
communicate, and relate to each other
• It provides ways to express love and concern
• It makes people feel comfortable in doing what would
otherwise be distressing

• It encourages the expression of feelings
• The whole funeral process is a feeling-oriented activity
• Feelings need to be recognized and expressed

• The funeral provides values to live by
• Confirms the value of life in the presence of death
• Shows respect for the dead AND for the living

According to research, is the funeral a valuable ritual in helping people adjust to a death?

Yes, according to research, funerals are considered a valuable ritual in helping people adjust to a death. Studies have shown that funerals provide a structured environment for people to grieve, express their emotions, and begin the healing process. They offer emotional support through social gatherings, provide a sense of closure, and allow individuals to honor the deceased in a meaningful way. Rituals can help individuals process complex emotions, reinforce social bonds, and find comfort in shared traditions. This structured space aids in adapting to life after the loss and moving through the stages of grief.

Define feelings

Reactions of the body to an event often experienced
emotionally as a sudden, violent, and upsetting disturbance

Define emotions

Feelings such as happiness, anger, and grief caused by brain patterns and bodily changes

Define guilt

Blame directed at oneself; may be based on real or unreal conditions

Define anxiety

• A state of tension typically characterized by rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath.
• An emotion characterized by a vague fear or premonition that something undesirable is going to happen.

Why we need to know how feelings occur

• Anyone working close with the bereaved needs to be
familiar with normal responses they may encounter
• Uneducated persons may interpret normal grief reactions as something extraordinary.

Shock / Disbelief / Denial - be able to discuss when the feeling occurs, what the reason for the feeling was (if it is listed) and if it is long/short term:

• Usually occurs with sudden deaths by may also come as a result of longtime illness
• This is a defense mechanism to allow the person time to adjust to the situation
• Usually Short Term

Sadness - be able to discuss when the feeling occurs, what the reason for the feeling was (if it is listed) and if it is long/short term:

• Can be felt for the deceased for suffering during life or
because not able to experience life any longer
• Sadness can be felt for the individual and individual’s own loss

Can be both short- or long-term, depending on the individual’s coping mechanisms and the significance of the loss.

Loneliness - be able to discuss when the feeling occurs, what the reason for the feeling was (if it is listed) and if it is long/short term:

• Can be felt even if the mourner has many friends and is
socially active

• The absence of a loved one, changes in daily life, or feelings of disconnection from others.

• Can be short-term, but often becomes long-term if unresolved or if support systems are lacking.

Guilt - be able to discuss when the feeling occurs, what the reason for the feeling was (if it is listed) and if it is long/short term:

• May be real or perceived
• Often exaggerated because death does not allow the person to resolve the issue that caused the guilt with the deceased

Short-term or long-term, depending on the circumstances and whether the guilt is addressed.

Anger - be able to discuss when the feeling occurs, what the reason for the feeling was (if it is listed) and if it is long/short term:

• Directed at the deceased for dying OR at God for not
preventing the death OR at self OR at other people

Short-term, but can persist long-term if not addressed or processed.

Anxiety - be able to discuss when the feeling occurs, what the reason for the feeling was (if it is listed) and if it is long/short term:

• Can range from mild insecurity to intense panic
• Fear of one’s own death or fear of how life will be without deceased may cause anxiety

Short-term, but can become long-term if not managed or if the person remains in a state of emotional turmoil.

Crying - be able to discuss when the feeling occurs, what the reason for the feeling was (if it is listed) and if it is long/short term:

• Physical or emotional response (Either has therapeutic value)
• Diminishes the negative effects of pent up emotions and relieves stress

Short-term, but crying may occur intermittently over a long period as part of the grieving process.

3 types of Tears (Not in your book)

• Reflex Tears - What allows your eyes to clear out particles.
• 98% Water!

Continual Tears - Continuously made to keep your eyes lubricated.
• Contain Lysosome that prevents infections.
Emotional Tears - • Dr. William Frey discovered that emotional tears contain hormones and toxins that accumulate during times of stress and stimulate the production of endorphins.
• Humans are the only creatures who are known to shed emotional tears

Preoccupation - be able to discuss when the feeling occurs, what the reason for the feeling was (if it is listed) and if it is long/short term:

• Cause absent mindedness or inability to concentrate
• May be past thoughts or current/future fantasies with the deceased

Can be long-term if the person becomes fixated or doesn’t resolve their grief, or short-term as part of the initial stages of mourning.

Dreams & Nightmares - be able to discuss when the feeling occurs, what the reason for the feeling was (if it is listed) and if it is long/short term:

• Can be very distressful
• Can increase feelings of guilt, fear, and anxiety
• Pleasant dreams may give the person reassurance and calm

Short-term or long-term; many experience vivid dreams shortly after a loss, though dreams of the deceased can recur long-term in certain cases.

Confusing Awake Events - be able to discuss when the feeling occurs, what the reason for the feeling was (if it is listed) and if it is long/short term:

• Usually considered to be paranormal or spiritual, but have firm foundation in reality and psychology
• Include seeing/hearing the deceased or feeling as though the deceased is present or directing events

Short-term, though the intensity may fluctuate depending on the person’s mental state and grief process.

What are the 3 spiritual responses someone can have to a grief experience?

• Strengthening of a person’s spiritual beliefs
• Weakening of a person’s spiritual beliefs
• Causing questions as to the meaning of life and death,
beliefs, and values

What are some cognitive responses someone can have to a grief experience.

• Pre-occupation with death (Most Common)
• Inability to concentrate
• Disorganized thoughts

• Sense of presence, seeing, hearing loved one
• Suicidal thoughts
• Inability to remember
• Easily distracted
Statements
• I wish I could have…
• I wish It would have been me…
• It seems like a bad dream…
• Why?
• I think I’m going crazy….
• If only…

What are some behavioral responses someone can have to a grief experience?

• Doing or saying things contrary to beliefs or accustomed behavior
• Staying inside all the time or needing to stay away from
home
• Frequent visits to gravesite, church, or places associated with the deceased

• Loss of interest in social activities and the world in general
• Sleep disturbances
• Increase in chemical (drug/alcohol) use
• Frequent crying or angry outbursts

What are some physical responses someone can have to a grief experience?

• Sighing
• Headaches
• Startle Responses
• Crying

• Menstrual Difficulties
• Dizziness
• Fatigue
• Trembling

• Muscular Tension
• Insomnia
• Emptiness in gut
• Appetite loss

• Stomach Problems
• Something stuck in throat
• Lowered immunity to illness
• Sexual desire changes
• Shortness of breath
• Increased/decreased activity

What are some mental responses someone can have to a grief experience?

• Negative Thoughts
• Confusion
• Difficulty Concentrating

• Lower productivity
• Sleeplessness
• Forgetting Details
• Mind going blank