Scene 12 (?) Sonia Michael

(he crosses)

Its good to see you Michael

Wheres your uncle 

He went for a walk 

Do you know how much I hate him

Its not good to hate people

Did you come up with that?

I think its something to live by 

Love thy neighbor youd say

Is there anything wrong with that?

Are you as unbearable as your uncle?

I don’t think so 

Great, She doesnt think so 

How have you been Michael

Ask me an interesting question 

Do y’know I’ve been reading about your work

Failed doctor sets record for mortality rate

No I mean your work with the trees 

Right failed doctor becomes tree hugger 

Thats not what I meant-

Right you mean failed doctor becomes tree fucker

I just meant, I mean the work you do is very beautiful 

Vanya would disagree-

I mean its-

It would be nice, imagine the quiet

Are you happy, Michael?

No

I thought so

Are you happy?

I am.

What's your secret?

I don’t have one. 

You don’t have one?

I don’t think so.

She doesn’t think so. 

Really I am very happy Michael.

Okay

Why aren’t you happy?

Don’t know why you expect a better answer from me.

You’re smarter than me.

Why cause I fck trees?

What??

Because I’m a tree fucker I’m smarter than you? 

No that’s not what I mean.

What did you mean? 

I just meant, I mean…. Just, you’re smarter than I am. 

Okay, cite your sources.

What?

I’m smarter than you?

Yes?

Why?

Because!

Wow, because, maybe I really am smarter than you

See thats what I mean! You know how to word things

Such as I want to kill your uncle. 

You understand people

Such as your uncle, whom I want to kill

You care about things, you’re sensitive in ways that-

(monologue) I muck up end with something along the lines of “I don’t know” 

You’re bright michael. 

(monologue) And what makes you so happy?

I don’t know.

Then don’t ask me, 

You shouldn't drink Michael. It doesn’t suit you. 

…that this makeup and that dress suit you but I keep that to myself don’t I?

I know you Michael. I know you’re a kind person

Definitely came up with that one on your own

I’ve seen it.

Cite your fucking sources.

You’re gentle

I want to kill your uncle

I’ve seen it.

 /And I am certainly not happy.

Then don’t drink 

Kill your uncle for me and we’ve got a deal.

Promise me. 

Promise what?

Don’t drink… Promise. 

I promise.

Do you ever- Do you think you might maybe see your self getting married someday, maybe someday or something. 

I don’t think so.

Right

I don’t know.

Why don’t you know?

Whats your big secret to happiness?

Don’t you want children, Michael? Like maybe someday?

Lets play a game.

Don’t drink.

A little guessing game. 

Michael.

Ready?

Michael

What do you think is the leading cause of death among young people?

What do I think-

What do you think is the leading cause of death among young people?

Guess

What is this?

A game. Guess.

What?

Guess

Cancer. 

Do you know where I just was?

Drinking.

Before that.

I don’t want to know.

Would you like to know who I was on the phone with?

No I dont.

A kid’s parents.

Stop it.

And you’re asking if I want children?

Is he okay?

With the bullet in his brain - is he okay?

What do you do then?

I’m not a half bad therapy dog.

You’re a good person Micahel. 

Just like I’m bright.

You speak and people listen.

(monologue) And what the hell is that?

What about your forests?

Microbes in the fucking water.

Nobody thinks that. 

(monologue) so theres no need to worry at all, really. 

I think so. 

(monologue) Line those killers up against the wall. 

I don’t care about these things, Michael.

…And then guess what? We don’t think about it.

Then what do we do?

I don’t know. I don’t know. 

Tell me about the forest Michael. I want to know about your trees. 

She wants to know about my trees

Tell me about the forest, Michael. 

Tell me your life story.

You want to know about me?

No, and you don’t want to know about my trees/

I do.

Do ya?

I do. 

(monologue) And you want to know about my trees?

What can we do?

We can sit in front of the tv and wait for someone bright. 

I think the world will prove you wrong. 

Through the power of love. 

Maybe. 

So you take your glass half full.

I don’t drink.

Yes, you do. 

Michael. 

Drink.

Can I ask you a question?

Thats all you’ve been doing. Asking me questions.

If I has a friend, or – if I maybe had a little sister, or if I knew somebody who… Well sayif you found out that somebody… If somebody… maybe loved you, Michael. If somebody were in love with you, What would you do?

Don’t know what I can do about loving you.

You’re a better person than I am. 

Definitely gonna have to ask you to cite your sources there. 

Where are you going?

Be happy. Okay?

You just got back Michael. Just stay for lunch.