Interpersonal Communication Final

Conflict

fight between two or more people

I-it

Someone you see in passing, transactional

I-you

Relationship where we know someone and we know who they are and we talk to them; superficial

I-thou

Deeper Relationship

Three fresh goals of a conversation

Mutually encourage, aid personal growth, marvel

Monologuing

When you take over the conversation as the only one talking

Manipulation

control or influence, have your own secret agenda

Single Tasking

focusing on one person and not letting anything distract you

Loving through your face

lift your eyebrows, tilt your head back, using facial expression not verbal cues to show someone you care

Zero sum game

someones belief that when other people win its why they lose; jealousy, selfishness, competative

9 ways not to confront people

-irritation or anger

-accusing without knowing facts

-judgmental attitude

-condemning language

-bad tone

-never use scripture to condemn others

-don’t have an attitude that you will expect what will happen

-don’t confront in the midst of a broken relationship

-expectation of instantaneous progress

The four responses to conflict

exit-leaving , neglect-ignore, loyalty-staying in a relationship to try and fix it, voice-speak up for whats wrong

Productive and unproductive communication patterns

3 phases for each. unproductive; disconfirming, kitchen sink fighting, coming to a resolution on your own terms. Productive; confirming person, bracketing, contracting

Contracting

when you come to a conclusion based on both opions, a fair solution

Kitchen Sinking

fight about everything

Bracketing

organize all different problems and focus on one at a time

Cross-Complaining

when someone complains about something, you throw another complaint at them

Pitfalls of Conversation

criticising, complaining, self absorbtion, advice giving, flattery, divisivness, codependence, gossip, arrogance, manipulation

Six Conversations

social, emotional, cognitive, physical, volitional, spiritual