LotRHL

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Are you alright?

My goddamn lip is bleeding

I'm sorry Elaine

If you wanted me on the sofa, why didn’t you just point to it?

I didn’t want you on the sofa. I’m very sorry. Let me see your lip.

It’s a bleeding lip, you’ve seen them before.

Let me put some cold water on it.

It’s alright, it’ll heal. It’s only royal families that have to worry. Give me a handkercheif.

Damned stupid idiot. I don’t know why I kissed you so hard.I

It was a terrific kiss. A little pointy maybe, but very nice. Help me up.

Can I put a little ice on it?

Just your worrying about it is enough for me. It stopped. Here. You’d better burn this.

How bout a little more Scotch?

How about a lot more? You packed the glass already? You didn’t wax the floor too did you?

Some klutz, heh? That’s me. World’s Olympic Champion klutz.

Listen it was the best two minutes we has. I’m not one to knock a little physical contact.

Yeah, but I mean that was right out of high school. If we missed the sofa, I could have fallen on top of you and broken your back.

That’s an interesting picture. You want to take another shot at it?

You mean I’m forgiven? You really are something Elaine. I never saw anyone who can change moods as quickly as you.

It’s a talent. It’s not as good as tap dancing, but what the hell.

I don’t think you’re as tough as you like to sound.

I’ll bet you’re going to hold my hand next.

Yes, I am. How do you like that? Don’t you like having someone hold your hand?De

Well it depends what their doing with the other hand.

I wish I could figure you out. I wish I knew what going on in that brain of yours right now.W

We’re not going to get on a talking thing again are we? Without cigarettes?

Elaine, what were you like when you were a girl?

Fat and pimply. Don’t you even smoke a pipe? A couple of drags is all I really need.

My god is that all you can think of? Is that the most important thing in your life right now? Is there nothing else on your mind but a lousy goddamned mentholated filtered cigarette?

Well what are you offering that’s more enjoyable?

I’m trying to talk to you, to know what you’re like as a human being. Is there anything wrong with that?N

Not if we didn’t have to be out by five. If you wanted information I could have filled out a form in the restaurant.

Tell me the truth, the honest truth. Would you a lot happier if I started ripping off your clothes and jumping all over you? No hello, no nothing. Just the pure, physical animal act. Is that what you would prefer?

Well, it would be a way of breaking the ice.

Because if that’s what you want I certainly could accommodate you. I mean there’s no problem in that area, is there?

If you say so.

I say so. There is no problem in that area.

Then what is the problem?

There’s no problem…yes there is. I’m sorry. I just happen to think that’s crude. Look, I admit I don’t know you very well, but I was hoping to start off this relationship with at least mutual respect for each other.

If you don’t know me how can you respect me?

Because you’re a human being, a woman. And I respect that.

Hey, listen, no offense, but I’m getting a bad headache. How much do you get for a couple of aspirin?

I suppose I did that. As you said, I’m boring you to death right?

Barney, you’re simply too overconfident for me. I'm just putty in your hands. Can I pour it myself, I promise I won’t go past the pencil mark?

Elaine, is it possible you really are as cold as you sound?

I need gloves to take off my underwear.

Flippant, wise, cold. You won’t permit yourself to be sincere and honest for a minute, will you?

Barney…I am leaving for good now. My peak has ebbed.

Forgive me for saying so, but it’s a pretty frightening way to go through life.

You’re forgiven.