Thanatology - Study Guide - Chapter 8

Do most children have concerns of death? If so, what percentage?

80% of children think about death at one time or
another and before you can assist them, you must know
how they perceive death.

What are the three factors that determine a child’s belief structure about death?

There are three general factors that determine how a
child views death and loss
• Age / Developmental Level
• Manner of Death
• Relationship with Deceased
As a child grows, their view on death will change.

Describe how a child in the 6 month – 2 year category experiences grief?

• Before 6 months
• Non specific distress in reaction to absence of mother
• This is theorized to be the precursor to actual grief
responses

• 6 month – 2 years
• Begin to experience normal grief reactions in response to absence of mother
• If separation continues, child manifest despair and
sadness
• If separation remains over a long period, child may
become detached unless a substitute caring person takes over

• It is particularly difficult to determine what the
response is of the person who passed away is not the
mother. The child may actually mirror the grief of the
mother rather than exhibit personal grief.

If a child in this category (Birth - 2 years) loses someone other than the mother, is it easy to see if
that child is experiencing true grief?

It’s difficult

Describe how a child in the 2 year to 5 year category experiences grief?

• Preschoolers
• Do not understand permanence of death
• Little Understanding of time
• Day/Week/Month/Year seem like forever

• Child can miss a person who is gone
• Aware of non-verbal communication such as moods of
others or changes in routine
• Worried about physical well-being of deceased
• Hunger, forgot to take something with them

• Not capable of cognitive reciprocity
• React to death in light of their own experience
• 4-5 year olds can be fascinated by death and want to
see and touch the deceased.

• Ask questions repeatedly about the deceased
• Child is looking for reassurance, try not to get frustrated
• May not know how to react so they confront others
with statements like “My daddy died” to try to learn
how to respond or react.

• May feel responsible or guilty or something said or
failed to do.
• May act like death never happened or react in a
regressive manner.

What is meant by cognitive reciprocity?

Cannot learn outside of their own experiences

Describe how a child in the 6 year – 9 year category experiences grief?

• More complex understanding of death and dying
• DUH – They’re older

• Realize death is irreversible and universal experience
• Still find it hard to believe that death will happen to
them
• Believe Death only happens to older people

• Death personified as a monster or boogeyman which
allows them to hide from it
• Uses ‘magical thinking’ – think or wish bad things that
happen to someone and if they person dies, it can cause
guilt.

• Lack of vocabulary still a problem – children at this age
have strong emotions, but are still unable to express it.
• Crying, withdrawal, nightmares, aggressiveness and
misbehavior common.
• Boys are typically more aggressive
• Often need permission to grieve

What is one of the reasons why the child must act out feelings in this age category (6 years - 9 years)?

Children at this age have strong emotions, but are still unable to express it.

Describe how a child in the 9 Year – 12 year category experiences grief?

• Pre-adolescence
• Cognitive understanding that death is a final event
• Can understand a mature, realistic explanation as final
and irreversible.

• Short attention spans
• Crying one second, fine and playing outside the next
• Can be a problem if the adult interprets this as a lack of
care about the death

• Concerned about who will take care of them or who
they will play with
• Vocabulary at this point is usually less of a problem
than is the fact the child doesn’t want to talk about it
• Grief will build up and cause behavioral problems

• School is a primary environment so misbehavior, lack
of concentration, and drop in grades.
• Expressing feelings should help mitigate these and other issues.
• Encourage them to talk about the loss and their inner
feelings

• Interest and curiosity in physical aspects of death and
what happens after death.
• Children may identify with deceased and imitate
mannerisms
• Boys are more aggressive in acting out feeling at this
age

Describe how a child in the 13 year – 18 year category experiences death?

• Adolescence
• Understand much like an adult does (Irreversible,
happens to everyone.)

• Losses affect the total life of the teen involved and are
usually very intense
• Commonly feel frustration, anxiety, and confusion at
this age in addition to other responses
• Theorized that puberty intensifies the experience
• Conflicting feelings (unattractiveness, insecurity) and lack of control also prevalent

What are the sub-categories of the 13-18 year?

• Adolescents need to be comforted and supported, they
are usually put in the position of comforter, protector,
and caregiver and told to “be strong for others”.
• Keeping emotions suppressed is never a good thing and they are falling to pieces inside

• Adolescents philosophize about life and death
• Have conflicting feelings
• Feel Immune to death
• Feel anxiety and fear over thoughts of their own death
• Challenge themselves with unnecessary risks

• By confronting death they are trying to overcome fears
by confirming control on mortality
• Males and females have different responses.
• Males more aggressive, females needing more comfort and reassurance.

Describe the Early Teen years?

• 12-14
• Early Teen
• Search for the “Am I OK?” answer
• Concerned about fitting in
• Imaginary Audience watching them
• Feel awkward talking about grief
• Concerned what other people think about them
(egocentric) and may not be understand another person’s
loss if it is not like theirs

Describe the Middle Teen years?

• 14-15
• Middle Teen
• Feelings of indestructibility / Bad things won’t happen to
them
• Teen will ‘live forever’
• Express themselves by taking unnecessary risks or
chemical abuse

Describe the Late Teen years?

• 16-19
• Late Teen
• Search for meaningful relationships
• Better understand complex relationships
• Interested in another person’s point of view
• Grieve much like adults do