lecture 3 communication and the self

self-concept

The relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself.

self-esteem

The part of the self-concept that involves evaluations of self-worth.

self-compassion

The tendency to be caring and understanding rather than harshly critical of yourself.

self-control

Your ability to change some part of you to meet a personal goal or social expectation.

development of self-concept

• Reflected Appraisal

  • Our perceptions of the judgments of those around us

    • Significant others

• Social Comparison

  • Evaluating ourselves in terms of how we compare with others.

  • Reference Groups

context of self-concept

• Language & Identity

  • Language has obvious implications for shaping the way we think and feel about ourselves.

  • Indigenous Communities & Residential Schools

• Cultural Values & Norms

  • Individualistic Culture: the primary responsibility of the individual is to help him/herself/themself

  • Collectivistic Culture: the individual feels loyalties and obligations to an in-group.

characteristics of self-concept

• Self-evaluations can be distorted

  • Obsolete Information

  • Distorted Feedback

  • Perfectionism

  • Social expectations

• Healthy self-concept is flexible.

  • People behave differently from one situation to another.

  • Self-concept also changes over the course of our lives.

• Self-concept resists change.

  • Cognitive Conservatism

  • Mindfulness allows us to have more flexibility in our self-concepts.

Cognitive Conservatism

• the tendency to look for information that conforms to an existing self-concept, even if the new image is more favorable.

self-fulfilling prophecy

• Two types of self-fulfilling prophecy:

  • Self-imposed

  • Externally Imposed

• The influence of self-fulfilling prophecies can improve or harm relationships.

impression management

• the communication strategies that people use to influence how others view them.

• We have our perceived self and our presenting self; which may hold different characteristics in either a private or public sphere.

• characteristics:

  • We strive to construct multiple identities.

  • Identity management is collaborative.

  • Identity management can be deliberate or unconscious.

  • People differ in their degree of identity management.

why do we manage our impressions

• It is difficult not to create impressions of some kind.

• Face-to-face impression management includes manner, appearance, and setting.

• Impression management is mediated communication.

• Leanness can be an advantage for communicators who want to manage the impressions they make.

kinds of self-disclosure

• The self as subject.

• Is intentional.

• Is directed at another person.

• Is honest.

• Is revealing.

• Contains information generally unavailable from other sources.

• Gains much of its intimate nature from the context and culture in which it is expressed.

self-disclosure - social penetration model

• breadth

  • range of subjects being discussed

• depth

  • shift from unrevealing to personal messages

    • clichés

    • facts

    • opinions

    • feelings

• the most intimate relationships are those in which disclosure is great in both breadth and depth

model for self-disclosure - johari window

• Imagine a frame that contains everything there is to know about you.

  • This frame could be divided into information you know about yourself and things you don’t know.

  • It could also be split into things others know about you and things they don’t know.

• Relative size of each area changes in different contexts.

• model described

  • 1. open

    • known to self

    • known to others

  • 2. blind

    • not known to self

    • known to others

  • 3. hidden

    • known to self

    • not known to others

  • 4. unknown

    • not known to self

    • not known to others

benefits of self-disclosure

• Catharsis

• Self-clarification

• Self-validation

• Reciprocity

• Impression management

• Maintenance and enhancement of relationships

• Moral obligation

risks of self-disclosure

• Rejection

• Negative impression

• Decrease in relational satisfaction

• Loss of influence

• Loss of control

• Hurting the other person

alternatives to self-disclosure

• silence and secrecy

  • Secrets involve intentionally concealing information considered too risky to reveal.

  • Silence may not be secretive but is still concealing information.

• lying

  • A deliberate attempt to hide or misrepresent the truth.

  • A benevolent lie is not considered malicious by the person who is telling the lie.

• equivocation

  • Statements that are not literally false but cleverly avoid an unpleasant truth.

• hinting

  • Face-saving hints are designed to get a desired response while saving the sender or receiver from embarrassment.

ethics of evasion - unpacking deceptive communication

• Consider whether the effects of a lie will be worth the deception.

• Ask if an indirect message is truly in the interests of the receiver.

• Is this sort of evasion the only effective way to behave?

• Imagine how others would respond if they know what you were really thinking or feeling.

• Would they accept your reasons for not telling the truth?