ps373 - later relationship stages

What is the divorce rate in the US?

Just about 50%, 2/3 of married couples stay together for 10 years

Not all relationships decline in satisfaction over time, most marriages that start out…

Happy stay that way; only declines among those with low relationship quality at the time of marriage

Top 5 predictors of stability between husbands and wives

1. Parental divorce (-)

2. Premarital pregnancy (-)

3. Income level

4. Neuroticism (-)

5. Sexual satisfaction

2 types of effects that parental divorce has

1. Intrapersonal effects (relatively smaller)

2. Interpersonal effects (much more consistent and negative)

Intergenerational transmission

The passing down of behaviours, traits, and outcomes from parents to their children, influenced by both genetic and environmental factors

Third variables causing divorce in the children of those with divorced parents (4)

1. Parent’s education

2. Income

3. Negative effect

4. Poor life choices

What is the primary way in which the parent’s marital quality predicts children’s marital quality?

By observational learning; watching parents be jealous, domineering, easily angered, critical, moody, and uncommunicative

The relationship between parental divorce and child divorce is not ____

Spurious; results stay significant and do not decline after controlling for parental education, income, religiosity, negative effect, age at marriage, prior divorces

Most common strategies to break-up with someone — Baxter (1994)

1. Indirect

2. Direct

Indirect strategy

• 76% of participants

• Most common is withdrawal-avoidance

• Less common is manipulation

• common among those with avoidant attachment

Direct strategy

• 24% of participants

• Most common is open confrontation (no discussion)

• Less common is direct but allowing discussion

Self-oriented strategy

being more selfish at the expense of the partner’s feelings

Other-oriented strategy

trying to protect partner’s feelings

Additional Break-up Distinctions Found by Baxter (1984)

1. the gradual versus sudden onset of one’s discontent

2. individual versus shared desire to end

3. rapid versus protracted nature of one’s exit

4. presence or absence of repair attempts

Most common way that premarital relationships end

involve gradual dissatisfaction causing one of the two partners to continually try to dissolve the relationship without fully disclosing their true intentions; AKA preserving indirectness

Relational cleansing

the process of clearing out the remnants of a past relationship to make space for new possibilities

5 General Stages in Relationship Dissolution (Rollie & Duck, 2006)

1. personal phase (frustration and dissatisfaction)

2. dyadic phase (unhappy partner reveals their discontent)

3. social phase (partner publicizes their distress to family and friends)

4. grave-dressing phase (mourning decreases)

5. resurrection phase (start dating again, all better!)

Churning

• when partners break up but get back together

• usually disadvantageous for couples

People with _____ attachment are likely to have trouble letting go

insecure types

Primary consequences of divorce on well-being (4)

1. Associated with negative physical/mental health

2. Higher mortality

3. Causes emotional distress

4. Impaired life satisfaction

The more contact that someone has with an ex, the more…

Distress about the separation that they feel — cut them off!

Couples who do more novel and arousing activites experience…

Greater increases in relationship quality compared to those who just do boring stuff together

Why are mutual secrets good for a relationship?

With secrets, couples report higher levels of mutual attraction due to increased cognitive load in maintaining a secret!

Strange reason why divorce is much more popular now is…

we expect too much of marriage now; marriage is not perfect!

Reasons why divorce has popularized (7)

1. Expecting too much

2. Women having more financial freedom / access to alternatives

3. Individualism

4. Divorce is easier to obtain now

5. Casual cohabitation weakens commitment to marriage

6. Children of divorce are likely to divorce

7. Most of us have friends who are divorced

Why is cohabiting a precursor for divorce? (3)

Cohabitation changes people’s beliefs on marriage (a) less respect for marriage, (2) less favourable expectations about outcomes of marriage, and (3) increased willingness to divorce

Levinger’s barrier Model

Model that outlines the factors that contribute to the dissolution of a relationship: attraction, alternatives, and barriers

Levinger’s Attraction is…

Enhanced by the rewards a relationship offers, and is diminished by its costs

Levinger’s alternatives

Includes partners but also includes being single or achieving occupational success

Levinger’s barriers

Includes legal and social pressures to remain married, religious and moral constraints, and financial costs

Barriers to divorce are often more…

Psychological rather than material; guilt or embarrassment they may feel, or cause others, especially for their kids

Karney & Bradbury Vulnerability-Stress-Adaptation Model

Couples who have few enduring vulnerabilities, encounter few stressors, and employ adaptive processes are likely to experience high marital quality and stability

What classifies as a vulnerability in VSA model?

• trauma

• Poor education

• Maladaptive personality

• Bas social skills

• Dysfunctional attitudes toward marriage

Stress spillover

Stress that we bring home from work or school which brings surly moods home and makes us act poorly around our innocent partners

Parental loss view

children are presumed to benefit from having two parents devoted to their care; thus kids who ‘lose’ a parent through divorce are less likely to be well off

Parental stress model

holds that the quality, not the quantity, of the parenting a child receives is key, and any stressor (including divorce) that distracts or debilitates one’s parents can have detrimental effects

Parental conflict

• the most potent force for children of divorce

• bad interactions between parents are hard on children

• associated with more anxiety, poorer health, and more problematic behavior

The question of stay together for the sake of the kids depends on…

whether parents can be civil with each other, and the divorce will lessen the conflict

2 additional points on divorce

1. when kids have meaningful and high-quality contact with both parents they will have better relationships with them and their extended family

2. many of the poorer outcomes experienced by kids of divorce gradually fade with time

Amato & Booth (2001) Study

• investigating whether parental marital quality predicts children’s marital quality

• study of 267 families

• parents assessed in 1980, their kids assessed in 1997

Amato & Booth (2001) Results

• parent’s marital discord predicts kid’s marital discord

• primary way this happens is through a child’s observational learning

PAIR project

• study by Hutson and colleagues

• Tracking 168 couples over 14 years from courtship to marriage

• examining how social and psychological factors predict marital adaptation, deterioration, and divorce

PAIR project results

• 35% of couples had divorced

• 20% unhappy

• 45% happily married, slightly less satisfied

Three Explanations Why Marriage Goes Awry (PAIR Project)

1. Enduring dynamics model

2. Emergent Distress

3. Disillusionment model

Enduring dynamics

spouses bring to their marriages problems, incompatibilities, and enduring vulnerabilities that surface during their courtship; putting them at major risk for divorce

Emergent distress

the problematic behaviour that ultimately destroys a couple begins after they marry

How is the emergent distress model different than enduring dynamics?

Believes that there is no discernible difference between marriages that will succeed or fail; the difficulties that ruin some marriages usually develop later

Disillusionment model

couples begin their marriages with romanticized views of their relationship and are unrealistically positive, this fades over time and causes frustration

Only 2/3 of the models seemed to be at work in the marriages in the PAIR project, which are they?

• the enduring dynamics model (predict how happy marriages would be)

  • problems during engagement do not disappear in marriage!

• the disillusionment model (best predictor of divorce)

  • early affection masks deeper issues

Early Years of Marriage Project (EYM)

• study following 174 white couples and 199 black couples

• investigating how social conditions affect marital outcomes

  • race, income, family background…

EYM 16 years in results…

• overall divorce rate = 46%

• 36% of white couples divorced

• 55% of black couple’s divorce

Why were Black couples in EYM more prone to divorce?

• longer cohabitation before marriage

• more likely to have kids before marriage

• lower SES

3 General Types of Influences on Marital Outcomes

1. cultural context

2. personal contexts

3. relational context