Relationships and Attraction Flashcards

Flashcards based on lecture notes about relationships and attraction.

What is social homogamy?

• Choosing a mate for social and psychological roles determines the success of the marriage more than the biological role of reproduction does

• Social homogamy refers to the tendency for people to choose partners who are similar to them in terms of social characteristics like race, ethnicity, religion, and socioeconomic status. 

• Individuals are more likely to pair up with those who share similar backgrounds and experiences.

What is evolutionary theory in the context of couple relationships?

A branch of anthropology that explains the origins of sexual attraction based on prehistoric ancestors, stating that adaptive behaviors led to survival and reproduction.

What are Adaptive behaviours according to Evolutionary Theory?

Strategies that enabled individuals to compete for limited resources, to survive, to reproduce, and to raise children to reproductive ages, giving them an evolutionary advantage. These behaviors are thought to have developed over time through natural selection to enhance survival and mating success.

What is ideal mate theory?

• Symbolic interaction perspective

• Attraction is based on an individual's unconscious image of the ideal mate formed from his or her perceptions of the meaning of certain factors, such as: physical, cultural, or socio-economic characteristics, based on how they see themselves and others

• Everyone has an unconscious ideal with which they compare a person to find him or her attractive or to make the immediate judgement of the person as loveable.

• formed from pleasant experiences with other individuals in childhood, usually from a person's family, from people in the community, and from media personalities, who are similar to one's self.

How is an individual's "unconscious ideal" formed, according to the Ideal Mate Theory?

From pleasant experiences with other individuals in childhood, usually from a person's family, from people in the community, and from media personalities, who are similar to one's self.

What is proximity in the context of mate selection?

• Individuals are attracted to and fall in love with, and marry those, who live and work nearby, belong to the same religious community, attend the same cultural events, or even select the same online community 

• Explains how individuals are attracted to people from similar social and cultural backgrounds so that they share social, cultural, and economic values and lifestyle expectations 

• We choose others who are like ourselves 

• Canadians are also likely to marry someone with the same level of educational attainment

What factors explain how individuals are attracted to people from similar social and cultural backgrounds?

Sharing social, cultural, and economic values and lifestyle expectations

What is attraction based on?

• Based on individual preferences, determining who is attractive as a potential mate but doesn't mean the feeling is mutual 

• Individuals must complete with others to win the hand of the person of their dreams 

• Even if someone has the qualities you look for you may not be attracted to them

What is outlined in the script theory?

Behaviours as asking for the date, organizing the activity, making preparations, interactions during the date and ending the date. It also determine when it is appropriate to hold hands, kiss and sexual activity, as well as gender roles.

What filters are included in Murstein's Filter Theory?

Field of Eligibles, Propinquity Filter, Attraction Filter, Homogamy Filter, Compatibility Filter, Trial Filter, and Decision Filter.

According to Exchange Theory, what is attraction based on?

What people are really like rather than on what is ideal

How do Functionalists see how couples

Couples negotiate the roles that each plays in their relationship

What are the characteristics of healthy relationships?

Mutual respect, trust, honesty, compromise, individuality, good communication, problem-solving.

What are the characteristics of unhealthy relationships?

Control, hostility, dishonesty, disrespect.

What is self-exploration as a reason for infidelity?

Cheating is a way to explore repressed parts of the self without wanting to change the core of who they are.

What is insecurity as a reason for infidelity?

Cheaters struggle with self-esteem. They don’t feel attractive, powerful, smart, young, or whatever. So they seek validation through cheating. They use that spark of interest to feel wanted, desired, and worthy.

What is the appeal of transgression as a reason for infidelity?

Cheating seems extra tempting and extra desirable, because cheaters are not supposed to cheat.

What is unresolved life trauma as a reason for infidelity?

Childhood wounds have created attachment deficits that manifest through infidelity.

What is 'the life not lived' as a reason for infidelity?

Curiosity about what life might have been if a different path was chosen. The cheater is not unhappy with their current life, but they’re curious about what their life might have been if they chose a different path.

What are unrealistic expectations as a reason for infidelity?

Thinking that their partner should meet every need and desire they have, which is an impossible standard

What is the desire to feel intense emotions as a reason for infidelity?

Wanting to feel the intensity of a newly formed relationship when the comfort zone has settled into long term love.

What is selfishness as a reason for infidelity?

Feeling they deserve more regardless of loving their partner and enjoying their relationship.

Mustein’s filter theory steps

1. Field of Eligibles: Who is out there, the general population.

2. Propinquity Filter: Who is close to us. An available group to choose from. (proximity)

3. Attraction Filter (Physical attraction/Personality): Judgment based on appearance and individual characteristics.

4. Homogamy Filter (Age, Race, Education, Socio-Economic Class, Religion): Judgment based on how similar these factors are to the individual.

5. Compatibility Filter (Temperament, Attitudes and Values, Needs, Roles, Habits): Judgment based on similarities of these more intangible qualities

6. Trial Filter (Cohabitation, Engagement): Statement of commitment here. Test of the compatibility of all previous filters.

7. Decision Filter: Final decision is made here to see if the individual is the right choice.

8. Marriage: Marry the person

waht is passion

Passion, a strong feeling of sexual desire for another, develops the most quickly out of the three. This probably results from a biological desire to reproduce .

what is intimacy

The intense friendship of intimacy develops more slowly, as each individual shares his or her experiences, thoughts, and feelings with another and becomes willing to meet the other's psychological needs  

what is commitment

Commitment to maintaining the relationship grows as the rewards of being in the relationship instead of in others become evident, and individuals accept reciprocal roles and mutual interdependence 

2. In general, why do you think people prefer symmetrical faces (and bodies) over asymmetrical ones?

People prefer symmetrical faces and bodies as it is viewed as perfection and health. Having more symmetrical features is a sign that the body hasn't undergone oxidative stress during the developing stages, making it more likely to be healthy and stronger.

what hormones happen duirng love

• Neurotransmitters and hormones help determine which stage you are in a relationship 

• Lust is when you're physically attracted to the other, you may want to seduce them or to be seduced, this phase does not make you fall in love in any lasting or sustainable way 

• Attraction is when you begin to obsess about the person and crave their presence, theres a surge of extra energy created by norepinephrine, dopamine and serotonin. 

• Dopamine is associated with an increase in motivation, reward, and goal directed behaviour hence the desire to pursue that person. 

• Norepinephrine creates the extra surge of energy, racing heart, loss of appetite and being more alert 

• Serotonin decreases and is similar to those with OCD

• Attachment is the third stage, when you want to make a more lasting commitment with them, you may now move in together, start a family. Eventually the dopamine decreases and is replaced by oxytocin and vasopressin which starts the desire to bond and nurture your partner. 

stages of a marriages

• Stage 1: Relationships are romantic, warm, and respectful, focusing on exploration, sexual attraction, and the idealization of the partner.

• Individuals build self-esteem as they try to develop the relationship that suits their life structure 

• Stage 2: Conflict arises as individuals become more demanding to meet their own needs. This results in instability in the relationship and requires both partners to change their behaviours

• Individuals feel let down because their relationship is less rewarding 
  Stage 3: Couples compromise and negotiate a relationship that meets their needs as well as possible.

• The relationship becomes more realistic, mature and stable 

  The key to surviving stage 2 is to recognize that being honest about one's own need develops intimacy within the relationship and enables the partners to develop reciprocal roles to meet the needs of each other and of the relationship 

what is marriage cycle

Adjustment to marriage 

Birth of a child 

Teenage years 

Children leaving home 

Retirement 

Growing old together