lines audition

make em laugh

See. I told ya, buddy. Now get dressed. It’s sandwich-o’clock.

I’m not going to Jersey. I gotta fix this.

Computers can wait. My stomach can’t.

Dude. This is important.

Babe. What’s so important about that computer?

I was using it when all this happened, so I think I need to fix the laptop so I can finish my college applications like my Gran wanted me to do - and that’ll get me out of here! (mutters) I hope.

College applications? We graduated like five years ago.

I..what?

Or maybe that was the raccoon who ate our garbage.

...Look, just go to Jersey without me.

Normally, I’d said no problem - more sandwiches for me. But you seem tense and I think this little trip will help you relax.

No - I’m pretty sure I’m in like a Pleasantville-slash-Hot Tub Time Machine situation. So I need to fix the computer which is a metaphor for what’s broken-slash-missing in my life, then I’ll be able to find my way home.

Whaddya need, a map? Our apartment’s across the hall.

No. Home-home. ...Where my parents live?

...You hate your parents!

Kid waves off Jimmy and examines his laptop lost in thought

Hey, babe. What’s wrong? You seem different.

Yeah. ‘Cause I am different. I’m not your boyfriend. I’ve never even been in a serious relationship

You don’t think we’re serious?

Are you listening to me? We’re not! Dating!

Well, if this is how you wanna break up - fine!

We’re not breaking up

We’re not?

No - ‘cause we were never dating, because I’m not Charlie! I’m a senior in high school. I still live with my parents!!

Hey. x3

…hey…?

What? No. You gotta come, Charlie. It’ll be great.

I know you think it will be great, but trust me -- it’ll be terrible.

Charlie, come on man, what’s the problem?

Uh, let’s see. My computer’s busted, so I’m stuck in some alternate sitcom universe with people whose biggest worry is driving to New Jersey for a miracle sandwich they think is gonna improve THEIR POINTLESS MISERABLE LIVES!