intimate relationships exam 4

Social Power

The ability to influence others and resist their influence; based on controlling valued resources or access to them.

Dependency

Whoever depends more has less power;

principle of lesser interest

the partner who wants/needs the relationship less has more power.

Alternatives

Greater alternatives = more power (e.g., dual-income households); fewer alternatives → dependence → less power.

Fate Control

One partner controls outcomes no matter what the other does; e.g., refusing sex, forcing family plans.

Behavior Control

Changing your behavior to influence the partner; e.g., doing chores to earn approval.

Power/Resource Control Types

Reward (reward)

Coercive (Punish)

Legitimate (authority)

Referent (respect/love)

Expert (expertise)

Informational (knowledge)

Gender & Power

Heterosexual relationships often unequal due to resource disparities (wages) and social norms; equal power = healthier relationships.

Styles of Power

Direct vs Indirect (asking vs hinting); Bilateral vs Unilateral (discuss together vs decide alone).

Power Use

Not inherently bad; healthy power sharing is beneficial when used for joint goals.

violence

A behavior that is "intended to do physical harm to others"

domestic violence

Violence within homes or with people who live together

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)

Any violence in an intimate relationship; affects all couples regardless of age, duration, living situation

Situational Couple Violence (SCV)

Both partners; "in the moment" conflict; situational, less severe.

Intimate Terrorism (IT)

Mostly men; control & domination; frequent & severe.

Violent Resistance

Victim fighting back against intimate terrorism; self-defense

I³ Model - Instigating triggers

spark conflict, e.g., jealousy

I³ Model - Impelling influences

push toward violence, e.g., family history

I³ Model - Inhibiting influences

prevent violence, e.g., good self-control

Leaving Abuse

Factors making leaving hard: finances, children, emotional bonds/self-blame, fear, investment & poor alternatives.

Relationship Transitions

Turning points that change roles or behaviors; can strengthen or harm relationship.

Relational Turbulence Theory

Transitions create ambiguity and turbulence; increases sensitivity, conflict, emotional intensity.

Uncertainty Types

Self

partner

relationship

Partner Influence

Interference vs facilitation.

Inertia Theory

Momentum pushes relationships forward, even when not intentional.

Sliding vs Deciding

Sliding: no discussion, just happens, higher long-term risk. Deciding: intentional commitment, healthier outcomes.

Cohabitation

Premarital cohabitation effect: higher divorce risk if cohabitation was a slide rather than a decision.

Transition to Parenthood

More conflict, less satisfaction due to stress, time loss, traditional roles; buffers: planned pregnancy, maintenance, fair labor division.

Ambiguous Loss: physically present, psychologically absent

dementia, addiction

Ambiguous Loss: physically absent, psychologically present

deployment, missing person

On-Again/Off-Again Relationships

common; costs: more conflict, uncertainty, violence risk; reasons: familiarity, lingering feelings, hope partner is "the one".

Cycling

experiencing at least one break up and renewal with the same romantic parter

Correlates of Divorce: cultural

individualism, divorce acceptance

Correlates of Divorce: social

poverty, social network mobility, exposure to divorce

Correlates of Divorce: relational

conflict, communication issues

Correlates of Divorce: individual

age at marriage, personality, attachment

Levinger's Barrier Model

Attractions (rewards vs costs), Alternatives (other partners, single life), Barriers (finances, religion, kids).

Vulnerability-Stress-Adaptation Model

Outcomes depend on Enduring Vulnerabilities (background, personality), Stressful Events, Adaptive Processes (communication, coping).

PAIR Project Pathways: Enduring Dynamics

pre-marriage issues → early divorce

PAIR Project Pathways: Emergent Distress

conflict post-marriage → later divorce

PAIR Project Pathways: Disillusionment

idealization fades → rapid satisfaction decline

Duck's 5 Phases of Divorce PDSGR

Personal - internal dissatisfaction

Dyadic - talk to partner

Social - talk to others

Grave-Dressing - rewrite narrative Resurrection - new life

Post-Divorce Co-Parenting Types: Perfect Pals

maintain friendship with ex, parent cooperatively

Post-Divorce Co-Parenting Types: Cooperative Colleagues:

civil and pleasant to ex, but do not interact other than parenting

Post-Divorce Co-Parenting Types:Angry Associates:

bitter and anger towards ex, can work together somewhat

Post-Divorce Co-Parenting Types: Fiery Foes

enemies with ex, cannot cooperatively coparent

Post-Divorce Co-Parenting Types: Dissolved Duos

No connection at all (over time, as children age)

Breaking Up Distinctions

Onset: gradual vs sudden

Desire: one-sided vs mutual

Exit: rapid vs drawn-out

Repair attempts: many vs none.

Breakup Strategies: direct vs indirect

Direct: "I want to break up"; Indirect: ghosting, distancing;

Breakup Strategies: self vs other oriented

Self-oriented: protect yourself

Other-oriented: protect their feelings

Persevering Indirectness

avoid breakup but keep pulling away

Post-Breakup Adjustment

Easier over time

Love (declines over time, by about day 28)

Sadness (declines but levels out over time)

Anger (Quick drop, levels out)

Relief (maybe initial relief, declines, then rebounds to a gradual increase)

Staying Friends After Breakup

Most do not stay friends; more likely if friendship existed first or relationship was low-intensity; can fuel cycling.

Relationship Maintenance & Repair

The strategic actions that people take to sustain their partnerships

Cognitive Mechanisms

Cognitive interdependence, positive illusions, perceived superiority, inattention/derogation of alternatives.

Behavioral Mechanisms

Willingness to sacrifice, accommodation, Michelangelo phenomenon, sharing tasks, assurances, joint activities, supportive social networks.

Maintenance Prescription

Do maintenance consistently, not just during crisis. (car)

Behavioral Couple Therapy

Replacing negative behavior with positive ones

Cognitive-Behavioral Couple Therapy

Changing the way partners think about, appraise their relationship

Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy

Accepting incompatibilities, reducing emotional reactivity

Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy

Making partners more secure in their emotions

Insight-Oriented Couple Therapy

Freeing each spouse from the emotional "baggage" they carry from prior relationships

Systems Therapy

Focused on patterns, hierarchies, boundaries 

Relationship Education

Preventative, skills-based; not therapy; focuses on teaching skills; good therapy includes perspective change, new skills, skilled/safe therapist, focus on interaction patterns.