COMM 1500: Interpersonal Communication Unit 2 (Huggins)

Language:

is Symbolic, Governed by Rules, Layered, Ambiguous, Flexible, and has Layers of Meaning

Symbolic

Each word represents a particular object/idea

Semantic Rules

Rules that help us define individual words (Peek, Peak, Pique)

Phonological Rules

Rules that deal with the correct pronunciation of a word

Pragmatic Rules

Interpret the meaning of terms/phrases based on cultural/social norms 

Syntactic Rules

The way we put together words to create a sentence that makes sense

• English, modifiers come before words (red card) while in Spanish, modifiers come after (tarjeta roja)

• The panda eats, shoots, and leaves. vs The panda eats shoots and leaves.

Denotative Meaning

The dictionary definition of a word

Connotative Meaning

 Underlying meaning behind some words- implications of a word in addition to its literal definition

Ambiguity

Statements can be interpreted to having more than one meaning

• various levels of clarity

Flexibility

Personal idioms

Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis

Language influences the way that members of a culture see the world, and that the attitudes and behaviors of a culture’s people are reflected in its language 

Linguistic Determinism

Language defines the boundaries of our thinking (Can you feel something/conceptualize something without having a word for it?)

Linguistic Relativity

Because language affects thought, people who speak different languages perceive the world differently 

Creating a Positive Communication Climate

Use confirming messages, minimize disconfirming messages, avoid making others defensive, provide effective feedback, own your thoughts and feelings, separate opinions from factual claims

Types of Confirming Messages

Recognition, Acknowledgement, Endorsement

Recognition

Recognizing that another person exists and is worthy or your attention

How? Respond to texts, check in, make eye contact

Acknowledgment

Acknowledge another person’s feelings/thoughts

How? Ask for information, listen actively

Endorsement

Signal that you agree with what the other person has said

How? Signal agreement either full/partial 

5 Types of Disconfirming Messages

Impervious Response, Verbal Abuse, Generalized Complaining, Irrelevant Response, Impersonal Response

Impervious Response

Little/no response, ignoring

Irrelevant Response

The response doesn’t match what was asked/said, conveys that you weren’t listening/don’t care

Impersonal Response

Cliche response, something you can say to anyone, doesn’t convey empathy

Defensiveness

Excessive concern with guarding oneself against the threat of criticism

Supportiveness

 Feeling of assurance that others care about and will protect you 

Evaluation vs Description

Evaluation: Defensive, Opinion of value/worth of other’s behavior (you’re inconsiderate)

Description: Supportive, Description without judgement → conversation 

Control vs Problem-Orientation

Control: Defensive, manipulating others to act a certain way, “You can’t do this!”

Problem-Orientation: Supportive, encourage collaboration and creative thinking, find root of problem + figure out system, “us” 

Defensiveness vs Supportiveness Messages

Evaluation vs Description

Control vs Problem-Orientation

Strategy vs Spontaneity

Neutrality vs Empathy

Superiority vs Equality

Certainty vs Provisionalism

Types of Effective Feedback

Evaluative and Non-Evaluative

Non-Evaluative Feedback

Reply that withholds assessment of what the speaker has said/done

When to use: when someone wants to be heard/understood, no solution desired (gain info about a situation and help others work through their feelings)

Evaluative Feedback

Reply that provides assessment of what the speaker has said/done

When to use: when someone wants/needs your input (constructive criticism)

Own Your Thoughts and Feelings

• Use “I” Language (take ownership) e.g. “I’m having a hard time understanding you,”

• Avoid “You” Language (shifts blame to others) e.g. “You’re not being clear,”

Confirming Message

Statements that convey value for others

Verbal Abuse

Using words to hurt people emotionally/psychologically

Generalized Complaining

Complaints that simply indict the other’s character instead of specific complaints- which can help direct the conversation in a more productive direction

Strategic vs Spontaneity

Strategic: Messages withhold important information, attempt to control listener, e.g. “Are you busy next weekend?”

Spontaneous: Messages express thoughts/desires openly/honestly, e.g. “I’m planning a hike next weekend; do you want to come?”

Neutrality vs Empathy

Neutrality: Defensive, statements imply a lack of concern for others

Empathy: Supportive, statements convey concern for what others are feeling/experiencing

Superiority vs Equality

Superiority: Defensive, encourage division and “us vs them” mentality

Equality: Supportive, emphasize inclusiveness and minimize status differences between people

Certainty vs Provisionalism

Certainty: Defensive, offer inflexible solutions with no room for debate, e.g. “This is wrong.”

Provisionalism: Supportive, offer solutions flexibility, in the hope of generating dialogue, e.g. “What leads you to believe that? Is it possible that the source of your information is mistaken?”

Nonverbal Communication

Communication that requires no words

5 Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication

1. Present in most conversations 

2. Conveys more information than verbal communication 

3. Believed over verbal communication

4. Primary means for communicating emotions 

5. Metacommunicates 

NV Comm Conveys more than Verbal Comm

Nonverbal visual channels like facial expressions, gestures and visual appearance

Vocal characteristics like pitch, loudness, tone of voice, rate of speech

(e.g closeness can be conveyed through physical touch)

NV Comm Believed over Verbal Comm

When verbal/nonverbal cues are conflicting, one is more likely to believe nonverbal cues

(most likely because nonverbal cues are harder to control)

Functions of Nonverbal Communication

1. Manage Conversations 

2. Express Emotion 

3. Maintain Relationships

4. Form Impressions 

5. Influence Others 

6. Conceal Information

Inviting Conversation and Ending Conversation

(Managing Conversation) 3 nonverbal cues: personal space, eye contact, and physical appearance

• (easier to start a convo with someone closer, someone who is making eye contact instead of looking elsewhere/at their phone)

Changing posture/eye contact - common ways to end conversation

Maintaining Conversation

(Managing Conversation) Use gestures, eye contact and tone of voice as turn-taking signals

Turn-Taking Signals

Nonverbal signs that indicate when each person’s speaking turns begins/ends

Expressing Emotion

(expression)

Facial Expressions

Vocal Expressions - loudness, pitch, rate of speech

• intense emotions typically increase the pitch/loudness of the voice

Aspects of Maintaining Relationships

• Affiliation/Attraction

• Power and Dominance

• Arousal and Relaxation

Immediacy Behaviors

Nonverbal behaviors that send messages of attraction/affiliation

• eye contact, flirting

• hugging, kissing, holding hands

Power

The potential to affect another person’s behavior

Dominance

Exercising power, affecting someone else

Nonverbal Cues that express Power/Dominance

• status symbols: diploma, fancy car

• posture, body orientation

Arousal

An increase in energy

• when experienced with positive emotion, it is experienced as excitement

  • laughter, smiling, louder volume, higher pitch,

• when experienced with negative emotion, is is experienced as anxiety

  • fidgeting, low eye contact, faster rate of speech, higher pitch etc.

Relaxation

Felt in situations with decreased energy.

• when experienced with positive emotion, felt as contentment

  • smile more, relaxed posture, increased eye contact and proximity to others

• when experienced with negative emotion, felt as depression

Kinesics

Body movements that communicate

• Body posture

• Gestures

• Facial Expression

Types of Gestures

Emblems, Illustrators, Adaptors, Regulators

Emblems

Any gestures that have a direct verbal translation

• wave for “hello” or “goodbye”

Illustrators

Gestures that go along with a verbal message to clarify it

• the fish I caught was “this big”

Regulators

Gestures that control the flow of conversation

• raising your hand in a group setting to speak

Adaptors

Gestures used to satisfy some personal

• scratching an itch/removing lint

5 Types of Touch (Haptics)

• Affectionate

• Caregiving

• Power-control

• Aggressive

• Ritualistic

Affectionate Touch

Behaviors such as hugging, hand-holding, kissing etc. which communicate love, intimacy, commitment and safety

• contributes to physical and mental well-being

Caregiving Touch

When you’re touched while receiving some kind of care/service (task-oriented touch)

• hair cut, teeth cleaned, physical exam etc

• distinguished from affectionate touch because doesn’t necessarily reflect affectionn/positive emotion

Power and Control Touch

Touch used to exert control over others’ behavior

• can be friendly, like leading someone by putting a hand on their back, or holding onto their arm to keep them from falling

• other times can be used to control others against their wishes

  • teacher breaking up a fight, TSA pat-downs

Aggressive Touch

Behaviors done to inflict physical harm

Ritualistic Touch

Touches done as part of a custom/tradition

• greeting rituals (shaking hands, kissing cheek etc)

Proxemics

Use of Space

Intimate Distance

0-18 inches

Personal Distance

18 in to 4 feet

Social Distance

4-12 feet

Public Distance

More than 12 feet

3 Myths about Listening

1. Hearing is the same as listening

2. Listening is natural/effortless

3. All listeners hear the same message

Listening

The active process of making meaning out of another person’s spoken message

• active, not automatic

• requires more than just hearing

Listening Style

Habitual pattern of listening behavior that represents different goals for listening

Types of Listening Styles

1. Relational

2. Task-Oriented

3. Critical

4. Analytical

Relational Style

Emphasizes concern for others’ emotions/interests, listening to understand others’ emotions and connect with them

Task-Oriented Style

Listening as a transaction.

• Likes neat, concise, error-free communication

• Frustrated with disorganized communication

Critical Style

Emphasizes intellectual challenges 

• Identifying inconsistencies/logical errors while others speak

Analytical Style

Listeners withhold judgement until they’ve heard/consider all sides of an issue 

Stages of Effective Listening

Hearing
Understanding
Remembering
Interpreting
Evaluating
Responding

Hearing

Physical process of perceiving sound

• Barriers: Noise

Responding

Communicating your attention and understanding through various forms of feedback (6 types)

Noise

Anything that distracts us from listening to what we want to listen to

• Physical

• Psychological

Types of Responses

• Backchanneling

• Paraphrasing

• Empathizing

• Supporting

• Analyzing

• Advising

Backchanneling

Nodding/using facial expressions or words (uh-huh, I understand) to let the speaker know you’re listening

Paraphrasing

Restating what the speaker has said in your own words to show that you understand

Empathizing

Conveying to the speaker that you understand and share their feelings on a topic

Analyzing

Providing your own perspective on what the speaker has said

• explaining your opinion

• providing your experience

Advising

Communicating advice to the speaker about what they should think, feel, or do

3 Types of Listening

1. Informational Listening

2. Critical Listening

3. Empathic Listening

Informational Listening

Listening to learn

• class

• news

• driving directions

Critical Listening

Goal of listening is to analyze/evaluate

• political speech

Empathic Listening

Goal is to understand/identify with speaker

• comfort/support

Barriers to Effective Listening

Psuedolistening

• Selective Attention

Information Overload

Glazing Over

Rebuttal Tendency

Closed-Mindedness

Competitive Interrupting

Psuedolistening

Pretending to pay attention when you aren’t really

• Selective Attention: paying attention to only some parts

Information Overload

Overwhelm, listener can’t focus

Glazing Over

Listening but allowing mind to wander at the same time

Rebuttal Tendency

Disrupt our listening in order to debate a speaker’s point

Closed-Mindedness

Tendency to not listen to anything we disagree with 

Competitive Interrupting

Interjecting oneself when other people are speaking in order to take control of the conversation