FMST 314: Attraction

direct rewards

tangible benefits we receive from a person

• eg: enjoyment, money, attractiveness

indirect rewards

subtle connections that make people feel familiar, even without direct interaction

• eg: being from the same hometown

instrumentality

we are attracted to people who help us meet our goals

proximity

• physical closeness to someone

• being nearby increases the chance of interaction and attraction

familiarity

• we like people we see more often, because repeated exposure brings comfort

• comes as a result of proximity

convenience

being closer is easier and more rewarding than long-distance effort

how perceived similarity influences attraction

• in early stage of relationship, perceived similarity matters more than actual simillarity

• leads to kidner, more positive interactions

selection of potential partners

• we pursue people who are likely to accept us

• moderately attractive partner who shows interest is more appealing than a very attractive partner out of reach

matching

idea that people tend to pair up with partners who are similar to them in physical attractiveness and other traits

mate value

one’s overall attractiveness as a potential romantic/sexual partner, based on physical appearance, personality, resources, etc.

similarities in partners over time

• personality shifts are minor

• but, attitudes/beliefs become more alike over time due to shared experiences

stimulus-value role theory

as a relationship develops, we go through 3 stages

3 stages of stimulus-value role theory

1. stimulus info stage

2. value stage

3. role compatibility stage

stimulus info stage

initial attraction, often physical or superficial

value stage

learn about their attitudes, beliefs, starts superficial and then grows deeper

role compatibility stage

deciding one’s compatibility of beliefs and roles for a long-term relationship

fatal attractions

qualities that initially attract us to someone, but later become the reason for disattisfaction or breakup

complementarity

the idea that we are attrated to partners whose qualities/needs complement our own

• eg: dominant person pairing with submisive