dominic callback

Frohman scene with Barrie

Frohman: God, I hate nature. You know what man’s greatest invention was? The inside. Man invented the inside to get out of the outside.

Barrie: You’re in a grouchy mood, Charles.

Frohman: Can you blame me. I’m a producer, and this current show of yours we’re running is playing to half empty houses, as well you know! Which is probably the reason you’re avoiding me.

Barrie: I’m sorry, Charles, I know it wasn’t my best, but I—

Frohman: Look. We need to be honest with each other. I’m an American, I hate keeping thoughts to myself, it’s exhausting. Fact is, my theater is close to bankruptcy. I need you to write another hit and I need it now. Something new...

Barrie: I’m almost finished.

Frohman: Hah! That’s the stuff, James!

Barrie: I think this new play might really surprise people.

Frohman: Great! Surprise? Why does it have to be surprising? No, no, look. London “expects” certain things of you, James. A play that’s not too long, although it can’t be too short, and it’s got to be funny, although not too funny, we want to make people think, although we don’t want them to think too much—just don’t surprise them, alright?! Now finish it, and bring it by the theater first thing Monday morning. Get to work!

Captain Hook scene with Barrie

Swish swish swish swish…! Captain James Hook, at your service.

Barrie: Playwright James Barrie.

Hook: Yes, I know.

Barrie: But I don’t understand where you came from!

Hook: I came from you, James. A part of you, the part you don’t talk about at tea parties with little cakes and cucumber sandwiches.

Barrie: Wait, you’re me?

Hook: Ye-es. Except ever so slightly more handsome. [song] So are you a man or a mouse? A pirate or a pipsqueak?!

Barrie: I’m a-a pirate!

Hook: Don’t believe you! [Evil laugh, Barrie laughs] What the hell was that? Is someone tickling you, do you have a cough, what?