COM 112- Chapter 11

Types of Friendships- Short vs. Long Term

Types of Friendships- Short vs. Long Term

• Some friendships fade away due to life changes, others remain for years or a lifetime

Types of Friendships- Task vs. Maintenance Oriented

• Task- through a sport, club, job, etc.

• Maintenance- friendship through common interests and social support

Type of Friendships- Low vs. High Disclosure

• Low- general, basic information shared

• High- deep, meaningful information shared

Types of Friendships- Low vs. High Obligation

• How much of an obligation there is to reach out, be there for them, do something for them

Types of Friendships- Infrequent vs. Frequent Contact

• How much communication there is

• Does not determine closeness

Same-Sex Friendships

• Bond over shared interests

• Women: mutual self-disclosure, one-on-one

• Men: shared activities, groups

Cross-Sex Friendships: Mutual Romance

• Both partners want the relationship to turn romantic

Cross-Sex Friendships: Strictly Platonic

• Neither partner wants to turn the relationship romantic

Cross-Sex Friendships: Desires Romance

• One partner wants romance but fears the other doesn't

Cross-Sex Friendships: Rejects Romance

• One partner doesn't want romance but thinks the other does

FWB/Situationships

• Lower levels of commitment and communication

• Some end up as relationships, are a transition out of one, or a placeholder for one

Communication in Friendships

• Trust, respect, fun, support, balance, loyalty

Functional families tend to have...

• Rituals and traditions

• Shared stories

Families as Communication Systems

• Interdependence- if something affects one, it affects all

• Family is based off the way they interact, not just the individuals

• Systems within the larger system

Conversation Orientation- Low vs. High

• Low- talk about basic things, infrequent communication

• High- interaction is open, often, and free

Conformity Orientation- Low vs. High

• Low- individuals, independent, more equal

• High- fall in line, harmony, obedience

Family Communication Pattern

• Laissez Faire- low conf., low conv.

• Protective- high conf., low conv.

• Consensual- high conf., high conv.

• Pluralistic- low conf., high conv.

Effective Communication in Families

• Balance between autonomy and connection

• Strive for closeness while respecting boundaries

• Encourage confirming messages

Family Boundary Patterns

• Trusting- infrequent invasions, infrequent defenses

• Surrendered- frequent invasions, infrequent defenses

• Combative- frequent invasions, frequent defenses

• Guarded- infrequent invasions, frequent defenses

Characteristics of Romantic Relationships

• Love, commitment, affection

Love Languages

• Ways you express and receive love

• Words of affirmation, touch, quality time, gifts, acts of service

Matching Hypothesis

• Beautiful people end up with beautiful people, average end up with average, ugly end up with ugly

Love Styles

• Eros- romantic love, physical, passionate

• Ludus- game playing, getting>having, flirty with others

• Storage- friendship, companionship, reliable, steady

• Pragma- have criteria, practical

• Mania- when good, SO GOOD, when bad, SO BAD

• Agape- sacrifice, putting others and their happiness first