Duchess Lines - Alice By Heart

All the lines + cues for the Duchess/Dodgy in Alice By Heart

1 - West of Words (Alice: ...TO MUSIC HEARD, WEST OF WORDS....)

Darling, I've forgotten—is it day or night?

2 - West of Words (Clarissa: OMG—my pearls! Where are my pearls?)

They insisted.

3 - West of Words (Clarissa: Absolutely. With just a spit of jam—)

And a spot of Spam.

4 - West of Words (Dr. Butridge: Whaaaaat?)

(Making fun) Whaaaaaaat?

5 - West of Words (Nigel: "O let me not be mad, not mad..." My essay on King Lear—it's due at noon!)

I'll write you a note, darling. You have a good excuse.

6 - West of Words (Tabatha drops a tin)

Aaahh!....Just trying to get the party started.

7 - West of Words (Clarissa: Well, we all know who gets that Tabby's votes for "Orphan of the Year.")

Has to save somebody. Since she couldn't save her sister.

8 - West of Words (Tabatha: Then, she can't take it from you, can she? No one can.)

Clinging to some kiddie book?

9 - Duchess Scene (Alice: Ohhh! "How I wish I could shut myself up like a telescope!") [enter SL]

Too late, Pig.

10 - Duchess Scene (Alice: The Duchess. I'm sorry, I'd forgotten this chapter entirely.) [saunter/cross SR sarcastically]

Well, welcome to my world. Set a bookmark on my heart--but don't mind me.

11 - Duchess Scene (Alice: It's just that, you make no sense.) [threaten Alice with/ paddle; intimidating hug; circle sizing up]

And the moral is: Stop Making Sense! It's Wonderland, my pet. Now, now. This Little Piggie just could not stay home. All grown up, are you?

12 - Duchess Scene (Alice: Not all, my Duchess.) [cross SR, weird nervous laugh after]

Not what I hear.

13 - Duchess Scene (Alice: From whom?) [very judgy]

From youm--wallowing through the afternoon, trailing bunny tails and doing shrooms?!

14 - Duchess Scene (Alice: But--)

Were.

15 - Duchess Scene (Alice: They--) [moving closer to alice; pick at her hair]

I can see it in your eye, Pig. I can smell it in your hair.

16 - Duchess Scene (Alice: But the Caterpillars said--) [offended; then spank]

Blaming insects, dear?

17 - Duchess Scene (Alice: Ouch!) [fixing self up; making fun]

Rule 42--you know it, dear--you so: "Oh I know it all by heart!" — and I quote: “You have bo right to grow here.”

18 - Duchess Scene (Alice: But I can't help it. I'm growing!) [spank after line]

Can!

19 - Duchess Scene (Alice: Really, I'm too old for this.) [pretend to be sad, spank alice again]

Exactly!

20 - Duchess Scene (Alice: Then, shall I never get any older than I am?) [cross SR; stick butt out; walk Alice backward; like a farmer]

Wretched Pig--grew yourself such breasts and hips, my lovelies sagged, just watched them. You ripped the plumply from my butt and left fat and flatulent. You broke heart, you self tart, and now my day's just fart fart fart! And so I'm left--with no one left. You stole my soul and made me old, you pig! You stripped the sheets, and stole my sleep, and left my youth a dream! I'll see you at the Trial! You PIIIIIIIIIGGG!! PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGG!!!!!

21 - Duchess Scene (Alice: "I'm not your pig!" Alice said.) [finally annoying her; fixing yourself up; cross to center, like a teacher grossed up by teenage PDA]

PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!! 'Tis so. 'Tis so. And thus: 'Tis is! I shall make you a present of everything I've said. In the meantime, Bacon Bitty, we've been invited by the Queen to play Croquet. So, when that bunny breezes by, and you're seizing on that butt cheek and that tail he trails behind, just--

22 - Manage Your Flamingo (Alice: But would she really?)

If you tell a lie long enough--and loud enough...

23 - Manage Your Flamingo Bomb (Clarissa: Pray to God? After what he's put me through?)

God is dead. Meanwhile, I'm not feeling so well myself.

24 - Isn't It A Trial (White Rabbit: For two Treasonous Offenses: "Recklessly Rewriting the Tale to Suit Her Selfish Self. And: Breaking Rule 42"--

"You have no right to grow here!"

25 - Notes from the Jury: Part 2 (Mad Hatter: The riddle? She could barely even read it.)

Tit tot. You tart.

26 - Notes from the Jury: Part 2 (Dormouse: You tit without a heart!)

She was my pig--I loved my pig!--and then she made me old and big!

27 - Notes from the Jury: Part 2 (Queen of Heart: Indeed, she did.)

Well, I'm hardly the only thing she's turned into an aging Queen.

28 - Notes from the Jury: Part 2 (Queen of Heart: Some, write down "duh"--and then add "praved." I mean, really. Every syllable she wastes--

You age.

29 - Afternoon Scene (ALL (BUT ALFRED): AFTERNOON...)

Nurse Cross, she took him off.

30 - Afternoon Scene (Clarissa: Listen to her--still reading to him.)

Somehow, I doubt he'll be chiming in.

31 - Afternoon Scene (Nigel: Shhhh! Go on.)

Do.