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Interpersonal Communication

Communication between at least two interdependent parties.

Emotional Rewards

Relationships that enhance feelings of well-being.

Material Rewards

Connections that provide tangible benefits like shelter.

Health Rewards

Social ties that improve overall health outcomes.

Expected Roles

Societal norms dictating things like family role behaviors.

Enacted Roles

Actual performance of expected societal roles.

Interrole Conflict

Conflicting demands from simultaneous roles.

Intrarole Conflict

Conflicting expectations within a single role.

Disclosure

Revealing private information individuals control.

Social Penetration Theory

Communication depth increases as relationships develop.

The onion theory

Breadth (pertaining to social penetration theory)

Variety of topics discussed in a relationship.

Depth (pertaining to social penetration theory)

Intimacy level of topics in communication.

Frequency

How often communication occurs in relationships.

Uncertainty Reduction Theory

Need for information to predict others' behaviors.

ex. two new acquaintances may build trust by exchanging names and general facts about themselves. This helps them get to know one another better

Attachment Theory

Study of emotional bonds and relationship dynamics.

Secure
Avoidant
Anxious ambivalent

Secure Attachment

Healthy bond fostering confidence in relationships.

(70% of children) Children with secure attachment styles are active and demonstrate confidence in their interactions with others.

Avoidant Attachment

Emotional needs unmet, leading to relationship avoidance.

(20% of children) Children who have developed under the 'avoidant' style have learned to accept that their emotional needs are likely to remain unmet and continue to grow up feeling unloved and insignificant.

Anxious Ambivalent Attachment

Insecurity causing dependency and fear of abandonment.

They constantly seek approval from their caregivers and continuously observe their surroundings for fear of being abandoned.

Forces of Attraction

Factors that draw individuals together in relationships.

Proximity

Physical closeness increases attraction likelihood.

Similarity

Attraction to individuals with shared traits.

Complementarity

Attraction to partners with differing yet fitting traits.

Reciprocity

Mutual attraction enhances relationship potential.

Close relationships require:

Commitment -- "all in" with this person
Time
Loyalty
Foster interdependence -- Your happiness is often dependent on another.
Continuous investment
Balance of "tensions"

Dialectical Tensions

Opposing forces creating conflict in relationships.

Autonomy vs. Connection

Desire for independence versus need for closeness.

E.g., an athlete, who wants to feel like they are part of a team but also wants to highlight their individual talents.

Expressiveness vs. Privacy (Openness vs. Closedness)

Tension between sharing and withholding information.

E.g., when chatting with a boss about one's weekend, there is the desire to be open, however, closedness is also at play, as certain details are often left out, because of the context.

Continuous Investment

Ongoing effort required to maintain relationships.

Balance of Tensions

Managing conflicting needs within relationships.

Change vs. Predictability

A desire for the relationship to be predictable versus the desire for it to be original and new.

E.g., when creating scheduled meetings for board members, the predictability may lie in a fixed schedule, however the novelty may be in scheduling a varying number of locations to peak interests as well as inspiration.

Managing Dialectical Tensions

Strategies to handle opposing needs in a relationship.

Denial

Ignore one side of the tension.

Disorientation

End the relationship.

Alternation

Go back and forth between the two tensions.

Segmentation

Manage each tension in separate parts.

Balance

Strike a balance between all these things; compromise.

Integration

Find behaviors that satisfy both opposing needs.

Recalibration

Reframe the tension.

Reaffirmation

Embrace the tension.

Knapp & Vangelisti's Stages of Relational Development

Stage models outlining the progression of romantic relationships.

Initiation

The very short stage focused on making an impression.

Example - If a boy finds a girl attractive and want to make a conversation with her, he will introduce him selves with a formal greeting - how are you? What is your name?

Experimentation

The stage of exploring to know each other well.

Example - When the boy sees the girl the next time they will discuss to find out about their common interest and asks questions like- which is your favorite food? Or which is your favorite car?

Intensifying

The stage where the relationship intensifies and becomes less formal.

Example - The boy asks the girl for a date. During their date they talk about their lives and how the boy got the job and his personal experience and the girl also reveals about her parents, her previous experiences, etc.

Bonding

The stage where a person announces their relationship to the world.

Example - The boy proposes and the girl agrees to marry him.

Knapp's Relationship Termination Model

Stages outlining the decline of romantic relationships.

Differentiating

When partners start thinking individually rather than as a couple.

Example - The boy comes up with idea of quitting the job and to do something he wanted. The girl rejects the idea with some reasoning. So a pressure is created inside the relationship.

Circumscribing

Partners limit their conversations and set boundaries.

Example - The girl started talking more about the general topics like the food, climate etc. and started avoiding the conversation on quitting the job. The boy does the same.

Stagnation

The stage where communication declines significantly.

Example - As the girl found that there is not much to talk about in general and will remain silent even though they live in the same house. So there is a serious communication gap between the girl and the boy.

Avoidance

Partners intentionally avoid contact and communication.

Example - One day the boy packs his bags and walks out of the house. By the time the girl would have completely avoided the boy and will not attempt to stop him.

Terminating

The final stage where the relationship completely ends.

Example - The boy approaches an advocate for a divorce.

Content & Relational Message Dimensions

The content dimension involves explicit information, while the relational dimension expresses feelings about the other person.

Confirming vs. Disconfirming Messages

Confirmation communicates value, while disconfirmation communicates lack of value.

Supportive vs. Defensive Communication

Defensive behaviors arise from feeling threatened, while supportive communication fosters connection.

Handling Issues of Privacy

Communication privacy management theory argues that disclosure involves giving or receiving private information.

Emotional Communication

The process of using messages to exchange information about and influence emotional states.

Instrumental Communication

Helps us 'get things done' in our relationships.

Social Exchange Theory

A concept that relationships are created through a cost-benefit analysis.

a metric designed to determine the effort poured in by an individual in a person-to-person relationship.

Styles of Love

Different types of love experienced in relationships.

Eros

Typically experienced as a romantic, fairytale-type love.

Ludus

A love style where individuals view love as a game they are playing to win, often comfortable with deception and manipulation.

Storge

A friendship-based love style characterized by stability, companionship, psychological closeness, and trust.

Pragma

A practical love style where logic is used to determine compatibility and future prospects.

Mania

A possessive, dependent love style that is obsessive and characterized by emotional dependency and the need for constant reassurance.

Agape

A selfless, all-giving love style where individuals are centered on their partner's needs and express unconditional love.

Relational Maintenance Behaviors

Behaviors that include positivity, openness, assurances, social networks, and sharing tasks to maintain relationships.

5:1 ratio

According to relationship researcher John Gottman, for every one negative feeling or interaction between partners, there must be five positive feelings or interactions.

Negative identity management

A termination strategy in relationships involving intentional sabotage.

De-escalation

A termination strategy in relationships that suggests 'Let's just be friends.'

Justification

A termination strategy in relationships that involves rationalizing the end.

Positive-tone strategies

A termination strategy in relationships that communicates 'You deserve better.'

Behavioral de-escalation

A termination strategy in relationships involving avoiding your partner.

Withdrawal/avoidance

A termination strategy in friendships characterized by not responding, such as 'I just didn't text back.'

Machiavellian tactics

A termination strategy in friendships that involves involving others in the end/ being manipulative

Openness

A termination strategy in friendships that involves coming right out with it.

Conflict

An expressed struggle between two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others.

Intrapersonal conflict

The struggle within an individual when their own goals, values, or roles diverge.

Interpersonal conflict

Any type of conflict involving two or more people.

Intragroup conflict

Disagreement or confrontation between two or more members of a single group.

Intergroup conflict

Disagreement or confrontation between two or more groups and their members.

Persuasion

A purpose of conflict where one party wants to convince others of their opinions or perspectives.

Catharsis

Engaging in conflict to 'get it out of your system' and release tension.

Stages of Conflict

The progression of conflict through latent conflict, emergence, escalation, de-escalation, resolution, and reconciliation.

Kilmann-Thomas Conflict Model

A model that suggests collaboration is ideal, with compromise being a middle ground when collaboration isn't feasible.

Emotional Flooding

When overwhelming emotions take over, causing loss of access to logical thinking, often resulting in physical stress responses.

Validating Couples

Couples characterized by ease and calm, emphasizing support and understanding of each other's perspectives.

Volatile Couples

Couples who are intensely emotional and engage in lively debates during conflicts without being disrespectful.

Conflict-Avoiding Couples

Couples who minimize persuasion attempts and emphasize common ground while avoiding conflict.

Hostile Couples

Couples with high levels of defensiveness during conflict, lacking support or understanding for each other's perspectives.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Critically negative behaviors that lead to the breakdown of relationships, including criticism.

Contempt

When we communicate in this state, we are truly mean—we treat others with disrespect, mock them with sarcasm, ridicule, call them names, and mimic or use body language such as eye-rolling or scoffing.

Defensiveness

When we feel unjustly accused, we fish for excuses and play the innocent victim so that our partner will back off.

Stonewalling

"the silent treatment;" occurs when the listener withdraws from the interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner.

Ethical Conflict Management

Be truthful, avoid insults, name calling, etc., be accountable for your message, avoid coercion, focus on appropriateness, be mindful of your communication, aim to pick a good strategy of conflict.

Phubbing

phone snubbing

Social Information Processing Theory

Lack of nonverbal cues changes online interaction.

Hyperpersonalization

People may disclose more to offset the 'distance' of the internet.

Attitude

Learned predisposition to respond favorably or unfavorably toward some attitude object.

Psychological Consistency

As humans, we like to appear consistent; inconsistency is bad socially - causes people to be defensive.

Balance Theory

Three cognitive elements may be balanced or imbalanced; if imbalanced, the least important is usually changed.

Cognitive Dissonance

You have cognitions/perceptions about ideas; when you pair them with other things, they can either align (consistency) or disparate (dissonant).