Studied by 5 people
relationships and geography
-Mere-exposure effect – repeated exposure to any stimulus, including a person, leads to greater liking for that stimulus (time)
attractiveness and dating history
women: deemed more attractive have more dates
men: attractiveness is more based on their success than looks
looks r important for men towards women then it is for women evaluating men
homophily
the tendency to have contact with people who are equal in social status.
matching phenomenon
race/ethnicity, education/SES, age, and religion [in that order]
- We get positive reinforcement from others agreeing with us
-Others’ agreement bolsters our sense of rightness
We anticipate positive interactions with those people
interpersonal marketplace
choosing partners whose social worth matches our own.
their attractiveness and success is highly coordinated with their partners
women rated most attractive in high school were more likely to have husbands with high income and education.
reinforcement theory
Byrne’s law of attraction
our attraction to another person is based on the reinforcements outweighing the punishments
more simplified: we like people who are nice to us frequently more than people who are not.
-preferring people who are similar to us because the interaction is rewarding.
we prefer people who are similar (race, education, age, religion) and are good looking
how intimacy affects relationships
Involves commitment, feelings of closeness and trust, and self-disclosure
In intimate relationships the focus is often on closeness and sharing in three areas
Affective: feelings
Cognitive: thoughts
Physical: touching (not necessarily sexual)
intimacy and self-disclosure
Self-disclosure – involves telling your partner some personal information about yourself
leads to reciprocity
couples that practice self-disclosure are more satisfied
promotes intimacy
self-disclosure of emotions are heavily related to intimacy
Components of triangular theory of love
Robert Sternberg
3 parts:
Intimacy:
The emotional component of love
Passion:
The motivational component of love
Decision or commitment:
The cognitive component of love
triangular theory of love cont.
-top point of triangle is intimacy, left is passion, right is decision
-shows how people can be well matched or mismatched
-when there is a good match between the partners love, they are more satisfied
mismatched triangles show dissatisfaction in the relationship
attachment theory of love
Based on research with infant attachment to parents
- These early bonds, whether secure and pleasant or insecure and unpleasant, profoundly affect us for the rest of our lives, particularly with regards to forming loving attachments to others as adults
3 styles of attachment:
secure lovers
fearful or avoidant lovers
preoccupied or anxious-ambivalent lovers
secure lovers
-Find it easy to get close to others and are comfortable having others close to them
-Mutual dependency feels right to them
-Do not fear abandonment
53% of adults
fearful or avoidant lovers
Are uncomfortable feeling close to another person or having that person feel close to them
Find it difficult to trust or depend on a partner
- 26% of adults
preoccupied or anxious-ambivalent lovers
Want desperately to get close to a partner but often find the partner does not reciprocate the feelings, perhaps A-A lovers scare others away
Are insecure in relationships, worry that the partner does not love them
-20% of adults
intent vs impact
intent:
what the speaker means
impact:
what the other person thinks you mean
effect communication occurs when the speakers impact matches their intent.
intersectionality
Simultaneously considering the meaning and consequences of multiple categories of identity differences, and disadvantages
-race,gender, social class, sexuality
gender binary
concept of gender only having two categories , male and female.
how does one adopt the beliefs and customs of a new culture?
-acculturation
nonverbal cues
-ability to read body language
-women are better at this
-men and women differ verbally and nonverbally
which gender is more likely to want emotional involvement before premarital intercourse?
women
stereotype
a generalization about a group of people that distinguishes them from others
gender role
set of norms, or culturally defined expectations, that define how people of one gender ought to behave
socialization
The ways in which society conveys to the individual its norms or expectations for his or her behavior
gender identity
the individual and psychological sense of maleness or femaleness
sexual identity
develops during adolescence and becomes fixed
-you sense of self in relation to you sexuality
-gender identity and sexual orientation
-straight, gay, bi, pan
sexual orientation
– A person’s erotic and emotional orientation toward members of his or her own gender or members of the other gender
coming out
– The process of acknowledging to oneself, and then to others, that one is gay or lesbian
homophobia
– A strong, irrational fear of homosexuals; negative attitudes and reactions to homosexuals
anti-gay prejudice
– Negative attitudes and behaviors toward gays and lesbians that do not rise to the level of homophobia
native american tribes and third gender
-two spirit: manly hearted women
exceptionally independent and aggressively could take on
-beyond male and female
women could express masculine traits and activities while dressing and living as a women.
how do men and women differ in aggressiveness?
Men are generally more aggressive
True for all types of aggression (physical, verbal, fantasy)
-True for all ages (most pronounced in preschool age children – gets less so in adulthood)
-men are taught to take the lead
-women are taught to be chaste and not engage in sex
how do men and women differ in communication style?
-they differ verbally and non-verbally
-women are better at reading non-verbal cues
-men tend to not communicate their needs verbally
how do men and women differ in masturbatory behavior and porn?
-men are more likely to masturbate
-men are more likely to use porn
men and women respond similarly to erotic material, but sometimes women are unaware of their own arousal
how do researchers get the most honest answers from women in research?
in self reports men tend to exaggerate while women minimize their responses
the bogus pipeline gave the most honest reporting from women and men
the bogus pipeline hooks them up to a fake polygraph or lie detector machine.
what parts of the female gender role can interfere with their sexual functioning?
our culture has tighter restrictions on a womens sexuality than men
double standard
-female have a less obvious arousal response than men causing them to be less aware of their own arousal
-the word clitoris is missing from sex textbooks, talks from parents and teachings
-because women’s gentials are hidden they are less likely to masturbate and develop their full sexual potential.
LGB verbal abuse
55% report experiencing verbal harassment
28% are verbally harassed by family members
-these incidents take a psychological toll
how gender stereotypes in the media affect young girls and boys
-shows male and females in stereotypical gender roles
the messages reinforced childrens stereotyped ideas on gender
toys are gendered in kids minds
videos games show men are violent and women as hookers or sexual objects
sexual fluidity
changes that occur over time in sexual attraction, identity, and behavior
bisexual to lesbian
how are gay and lesbian relationships different from straight?
they do not vary from heterosexual relationships
how have homosexuals been treated during different periods of time?
-discrimination was institutionalized
1980: some states laws were passed to prohibit housing discrimination
1990 congress passed hate crimes statistics act
the federal gov. has not passed any laws banning discrimination
gay and lesbian parenting
-gay fathers better adjust with kids than straight
many kids with gay parents grow up to be straight
gay parents can develop healthy kids just the same as straight
stress of hiding ones sexuality
higher rates of depression and suicide attempts
how do prenatal hormones affect sexuality?
prenatal hormones (androgen) influences the brain and can reflect sexual orientation
-high levels of androgen cause an attraction to women (mostly males)
lower levels of androgen can cause an attraction to men(mostly females)
normal to paraphilia
A mild, or even a strong preference for an object is within the normal range of sexual behavior, but is abnormal if it becomes an extreme necessity
-abnormal behavior is rare and not practiced by many
paraphilia
sexual activities other than normal sex with consenting adults.
-unusual, unconventional sexual behavior
Effects:
Injury to partner (sadism, pedophilia)
Arrest/incarceration (job loss, divorce)
Self-injury (masochism)
Social/sexual relationships may suffer (unwilling partner)
Unusual behavior may become major activity (exhibitionistic acts, fetish objects)
Death
how individuals with fetishes behave and what they might collect
fixation on some object rather than a human, and attach great erotic significance to that item
collect:
cross-dressing
womens underwear, bras, stockings, shoes or other clothing items
media materials
or objects
behave:
holding,rubbing, smelling an object
asking partner to wear an item
perfer or require item during sex
transexual
relating to a transgender person or someome who had. sex reassignment
transvestite
Simply involves dressing as a member of the other gender (NOT ABNORMAL)
Transsexuals while in transition
Drag queen
Drag kings
Female impersonators
Perhaps adolescent boys expressing confusion and frustration
transvestic fetishism
the individual has recurrent and intense sexual arousal from cross-dressing, as manifested by fantasies, urges, or behavior
cause significant distress or impairment in life
masturbate while cross dressed
why is the term sexual addiction criticized?
the term addiction has very specific definitions among perfessionals and the term for sexual addiction to not meet the definition in some ways.
no physical withdrawl symptoms
addiction can come from illegal or destructive behavior
S & M behavior
Dominance and submission
An interaction that involves a consensual exchange of power – the dominant partner uses his or her power to control and sexually stimulate the passive partner
Master/slave, naughty child
why do non-true sadist and masochists engage in SM behavior?
Is rare as a sexual disorder
More common in milder, nonparaphiliac forms
Fantasies of behavior are more common than actual behavior
Partners usually engage in both roles
Men report being interested since childhood
Women report being introduced to the behavior by their partner
why do people engage in masochist behavior?
not precisely known
learning theory: experiencing punishment as a child or whenever and gettin aroused from it reinforces the behavior
learning to associate pain with sexual arousal
what is the suggested strategy for encounter an exhibitionist?
-exposes genitals to unsuspecting person or stranger
remain calm and suggest they should seek professional help
they get aroused off the shocked reaction from strangers
what is most likely for a voyeur to engage in and what turns him on?
arousal from watching an unsuspecting person undressing themselves
hypersexuality
Refers to an excessive, insatiable sex drive in either a man or a woman; leads to compulsive sexual behavior; person is never satisfied by behavior
men: satyriasis
women: nymphomania
asphyxiophilia
Involves creating or enhancing sexual arousal by cutting off one’s oxygen supply
-Strangulation by a rope around the neck
-Pillow against the face
- Plastic bag over the head
- Is a very dangerous behavior
- Death rate of between 250 to 1000 per year in U.S.
frotteurist
the individual has recurrent and intense sexual arousal from touching or rubbing against a nonconsenting person, as manifested by fantasies, urges, or behavior
Occurs in crowded places – subways, elevators, buses
Perpetrator:
Rubs genitals against victim’s thighs/buttocks
Fantasizes about loving, caring relationship
Could fondle genitalia or breasts with hands (technically toucherism)
necrophiliac
sex with a dead body
exhibitionist
sexual arousal from the exposure of one’s genitals to an unsuspecting individual
Sometimes masturbates while exposing himself
Generally makes no attempt to have contact
Accounts for most of the arrests for sex crimes
May have desire to shock the victim
asexuality and textbook statements
– The absence of a sexual orientation – a person whose sexual orientation is toward neither men nor women
Defined as a lack of sexual attraction to a person of either sex
Different from not engaging in sexual behavior
Asexuals are also different from celibates
May be a disorder rather than a paraphilia (2006)
love as a story
love is war
garden story (love needs ongoing cultivation)
associated with high satisfaction
business story (employer and employee)
horror (terrorizer and victim)
Note
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