IPC-Chapter 5-7

Artifacts

Personal objects that we use to announce our identity and personalize our environment.

Chronemics

The aspect of nonverbal communication that involves our perceptions and use of time to define identities and interaction.

Haptics

The sense of touch and what it means. Haptics are part of nonverbal communication.

Immediacy

Behavior that increases perceptions of closeness between communicators.

Kinesics

Body position and body motions, including those of the face.

Nonverbal communication

All forms of communication other than words themselves. Includes inflection and other vocal qualities, haptics, and several other behaviors.

Paralanguage

Vocal communication, such as accents and inflection, that does not use words.

Proxemics

An aspect of nonverbal communication that includes space and our uses of it.

Ambushing

Listening carefully to an exchange for the purpose of attacking the speaker.

Defensive listening

Perceiving personal attacks, criticisms, or hostile undertones in communication when none are intended.

Hearing

The physiological result of sound waves hitting our eardrums. Unlike listening, hearing is a passive process.

Listening

A complex process that consists of being mindful, hearing, selecting and organizing information, interpreting communication, responding, and remembering. Listening is a very different process from hearing, which is simply a physiological action.

listening for information

One of the three goals of listening; focuses on gaining and evaluating ideas, facts, opinions, reasons, and so forth.

listening for pleasure

One of the three goals of listening; motivated by the desire to enjoy rather than to gain information or to support others.

listening to support others

One of the three goals of listening; focuses more on the relationship level of meaning than on the content level of meaning. Aims to understand and respond to others’ feelings, thoughts, and perceptions in affirming ways.

literal listening

Listening only to the content level of meaning and ignoring the relationship level of meaning.

Mindfulness

Being fully present in the moment. A concept from Zen Buddhism; the first step of listening and the foundation of all the other steps.

Minimal encouragers

A brief phrase (“Go on”) or sound (“Um-hm”) that gently invites another person to elaborate by expressing our interest in hearing more.

Monopolizing

Continually focusing communication on ourselves instead of on the person who is talking.

Paraphrasing

A method of clarifying another’s meaning by reflecting our interpretations of his or her communication back to him or her.

Pseudolistening

Pretending to listen.

Remembering

The process of recalling what you have heard; the sixth element of listening.

Responding

Symbolizing your interest in what is being said with observable feedback to speakers during the process of interaction; the fifth of the six elements of listening.

Selective listening

Focusing only on selected parts of communication. We listen selectively when we screen out parts of a message that don’t interest us or with which we disagree and when we rivet attention on parts of communication that do interest us or with which we agree.

chilling effect

Occurs when we suppress complaints and expressions of dissatisfaction or anger from someone we perceive as more powerful than us, because we fear that the more powerful person could punish us.

cognitive labeling view of emotions

The theory that our feelings are shaped by the labels we apply to our physiological responses.

counterfeit emotional language

Communication that seems to express feelings but doesn’t actually describe what a person is feeling

deep acting

Management of inner feelings.

Emotional intelligence

The ability to recognize which feelings are appropriate in which situations, and the skill to communicate those feelings effectively.

emotions

Our experience and interpretation of internal sensations as they are shaped by physiology, perceptions, language, and social experiences.

emotion work

The effort we invest to make ourselves feel what our culture defines as appropriate and not to feel what our culture defines as inappropriate in particular situations.

feeling rules

Culturally based guidelines that tell us what we have a right to feel or are expected to feel in specific situations.

framing rules

Culturally based guidelines that define the emotional meaning of situations and events.

Interactive view of emotions

The theory that social rules and understandings shape what people feel and how they express and withhold feelings.

organismic view of emotions

The theory that external phenomena cause physiological changes that lead us to experience emotions. Also called the James–Lange view of emotions.

perceptual view of emotions

The theory that subjective perceptions shape the meanings of external phenomena and the emotions we associate with them. Also called appraisal theory.

Rational–emotive approach to feelings

Using rational thinking to challenge and change debilitating emotions that undermine self-concept and self-esteem.

self-talk

Intrapersonal communication that affects our feelings and behaviors.

surface acting

Controlling outward expression of inner feelings.

bracketing

Noting an important issue that comes up in the course of discussing other matters and agreeing to discuss it at a later time. By acknowledging and agreeing to deal with the bracketed issue later, this technique allows people to stay effectively focused on the specific issue at hand

contracting

Building a solution through negotiation and acceptance of parts of proposals for resolution. Contracting usually is present in the later stages of constructive conflict.

exit response

To leave conflict, either psychologically (by tuning out disagreement) or physically (by walking away from an argument, or even leaving the relationship). One of four ways of responding to conflict, the exit response is active and generally destructive.

flaming

Excessively insulting another person online, often using language that is derogatory or obscene.

games

Interactions in which the real conflicts are hidden or denied and a counterfeit excuse is created for arguments or put-downs.

grace

Granting forgiveness or putting aside our personal need in favor of someone else’s when it is not required or expected. Grace reflects generosity of spirit.

interpersonal conflict

Expressed tension between people who are interdependent, perceive they have incompatible goals, and feel a need to resolve those differences.

kitchen-sinking

An unproductive form of conflict communication in which “everything but the kitchen sink”—irrelevant reasons, insults, and excuses—is thrown into the argument.

lose–lose

An orientation toward conflict that assumes that nobody can win and everyone loses from engaging in conflict.

loyalty response

Silent allegiance to a relationship and a person when conflict exists. One of the four ways of responding to conflict, loyalty is passive and tends to be constructive.

neglect response

Denial or minimization of problems. One of the four ways of responding to conflict, neglect is passive and tends to be destructive.

passive aggression

Attacking while denying doing so; a means of covertly expressing conflict, anger, or both.

voice response

Communicating about differences, tensions, and disagreements. One of the four responses to conflict, the voice response is active and can be constructive for people and relationships.

win–lose

An orientation toward conflict that assumes that one person wins at the expense of another person.

win–win

An orientation toward conflict that assumes that everyone can win, or benefit, from engaging in conflict and that it is possible to generate resolutions that satisfy everyone.