Interpersonal Relationships Midterm Exam

Ellis ABCD Theory

A = Activating event -> B = Beliefs about A -> C = Consequential feeling -> D = Decisive behavior

Spiritual Flaws 

• Once a Christian, all of your emotional struggles are solved 

• If you are having trouble emotionally then you must be spiritually immature 

• Christians should not “crack up” (you can handle it) 

• Being exposed to good biblical teaching solves emotional struggles

Closure

1. Once we know a little about a person or situation, add information we don’t know 

2. Fill in gaps, jump to conclusions (basis for stereotypes/prejudice) 

Context 

Guilt by association

Process of moving from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence

Unconscious Incompetence – I don’t even know what I need to know --> 

Conscious Incompetence – I realize how much I don’t know --> Cannot be achieved by focusing on elimination, but by replacement 

Conscious Competence – I am learning & practicing --> 

Unconscious Competence – Now becomes part of who I am 

The Three R’s

Rules, Roles, and Relationships

Reflected Appraisal

a person's perception of how others see and evaluate them

Social Comparison

Superior/inferior

Same/different

cognitive conservatism

the tendency to cling to existing self-concepts and established mental pathways, even in the face of contrary evidence

Three aspects of the perception process

Physical Factors

Psychological Factors

Past Experience

Individualistic Cultures on self-concept

defined by internal traits, abilities, thoughts, and feelings rather than relationships.

Collectivistic Cultures on self-concept

defined by relationships, social roles, and group memberships

Impression Management

the process by which people consciously or unconsciously try to control the way others perceive them.

Attributional Principals

Locus of Causality (Internal vs. External)

Stability (Permanent vs. Temporary)

Controllability (Controllable vs. Uncontrollable)

Elements of Perception Checking

Helps prevent jumping to conclusions 

A description of the behavior 

One or more possible interpretations of the behavior 

A request for clarification about how to interpret the behavior 

Empathy

sharing and understanding another’s emotions

Sympathy

recognizing and caring about another’s emotions

Irrational Thinking

patterns of thought that are illogical, unrealistic, or distorted, which often lead to unhealthy emotions and behaviors

Equivocation 

Statements that have more than one commonly accepted definition

Static Evaluation

Statements that contain or imply the word is lead to mistaken assumptions about people 

Abstraction 

Behavior language is specific to things people do or say

Relative Language 

Words that gain their meaning by comparison

Language of Responsibility

• I statements accept responsibility for a message 

• You statements express judgment 

Female friends spent more time discussing

Relationships problems, family, health

Male friends spent more time discussing 

Current events, music, sports, business 

Linguistic Relativism – The Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis

the language we speak influences the way we think, perceive, and understand the world