constellations (elbows-cheating)

for my little horses

lights up

Do you know why it’s impossible to lick the tips of your elbows? They hold the secret to immortality, so if you could lick them, there’s a chance you could live forever. But if everyone did it, if everyone could actually lick the tips of their elbows, then there’d be chaos. Because you can’t just go on living and living and living. 

I’m in a relationship. So. Yeah. |

Do you know why it’s impossible to lick the tips of your elbows? They hold the secret to immortality, so if you could lick them, there’s a chance you could live forever. But if everyone did it, if everyone could actually lick the tips of their elbows, then there’d be chaos. Because you can’t just go on living and living and living. 

I’ve. I’ve just come out of a really serious relationship. So yeah.

I was just making conversation.

Sure.

Just trying to start a conversation.

No, sure. But still. |

Do you know why it’s impossible to lick the tips of your elbows? They hold the secret to immortality, so if you could lick them, there’s a chance you could live forever. But if everyone did it, if everyone could actually lick the tips of their elbows, then there’d be chaos. Because you can’t just go on living and living and living. 

Oh, right.

Try it.

What’s that?

Your elbows, try licking them.

I’m alright. 

I’m Marianne. 

Roland.

Thank God the rain’s held off.

Yeah.

Nothing worse than a soggy barbecue.

Yeah.

Soggy sausages. Would you like a drink?

I’m all right. My wife’s actually just gone to get me a beer. |

Try it.

What’s that?

Your elbows. Try licking them.

See what you mean. I’m Roland. 

Marianne. 

Shame about the rain.

Nothing worse than a soggy barbecue.

So are you, are you a friend of Jane’s or—

No, Jane, yeah. We were at college together.

Right.

Yourself?

My wife used to work with Jane. |

Your elbows, try licking them.

See what you mean. I’m Roland.

Marianne.

Shame about the rain. 

Nothing worse than a soggy barbeque. 

So are you, are you a friend of Jane’s, or…

Who’s Jane? 

Jane’s the— she’s the lady having the barbecue?

Oh, right, Christ, no. I was just walking past and I saw a load of free booze and sausages. I’m joking. 

Right.

Jane and I were at college together. How about you?

I play football with Tom.

Tom?

Jane’s brother in law. Blue-y green t-shirt.

Yes.

D’you want a drink?

I’m fine. Thanks.

So what do you, what do you do? For a living.

I work at Cambridge University.

Right, great.

Yourself?

I’m a beekeeper.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

You’re really a beekeeper?

I’m really a beekeeper. 

I fucking love honey. 

Oh yeah?

Spoon. Jar of honey. Heaven. 

What sort of honey do you normally go for?

I’m too embarrassed.

How d’you mean?

Too embarrassed to tell you.

Why’s that?

I like Tesco. The really dirty stuff, the prison stripe type stuff.

That’s all right.

Really?

Of course.

I’m not putting honest, hard working beekeepers out of work?

Wouldn’t have thought so.

Do you think I’m a honey phillistine?

Some of the supermarket stuff’s alright.

Really?

Yeah, some of it’s fine, yeah.

So— and I mean don’t take this the wrong way, but I mean, are you—

Go on.

You— I mean do you make a living?

I do, yeah.

I mean from beekeeping.

From beekeeping.

How does it— I mean how does it—

Well. I used to, I used to work for a friend of mine. In Wiltshire.

Very nice.

After awhile though, decided I wanted to go into business on my own. But my, my girlfriend— ex girlfriend—

I’m sorry for your loss. 

What’s that?

No—I was— I was making a—

Right.

Sorry for your loss as in—

Right.

It was just a—-

No.

Anyway you were—

Yeah no, so, she, my ex, she wanted to move to London, so we got this one bed place in Mile End.

No wonder you broke up with her, fuck me. I’d’ve broken up with her if she’d made me leave Wiltshire for fucking Mile End.

I’m still living there, actually.

Lovely curries.

There wasn’t any room. For bees.

I see.

We didn’t have a garden.

Bummer.

One day I was on the roof and I realized it was perfect. So. I tidied up a bit and got my first hive. 

Amazing. 

Went from one to two, two to four. We, we went away. Me and Laura. We went away to Spain and when we got back, we found that the flat had been raided. 

Raided? 

I used to keep the honey in trash bags. You know those black, plastic garbage bags—

Yes. 

Didn’t have a lot of money, at the time, so the trash bags were just a cheap alternative When we were away though, one of the neighbors called up the police. Thought we were brewing up smack or something. They properly went for it. The police. They kicked the front door in, turned the flat upside down and they confiscated all these trash bags with the most amazing honey and honeycomb. 

Did that really happen? 

Yeah.

You used to keep honey in trash bags?

Yeah. |

Roland I don’t think I can go back to work.

Have they told you that?

They’re great.

You’ve told them then?

Not yet.

But you’re going to. 

I think so. 

But you haven’t said any of this to them?

They’ve said whatever I want.

So what about part time?

I don’t see the point.

You mean the point of going part-time?

Either I’m walking or I’m

Either I’m walker

I either do it or I don’t. Scares me. 

Work?

Stopping.

Stopping work scares you?

What will I do?

We’ll go away. We can do whatever we want.

I don’t—

I’m being serious.

I don’t—

I mean it.

I      I don’t

We can’t. I have to    have to       make a 

I have to have a choice. Control. |

You want me to leave?

Not in a bad way but yeah.

Have I done something wrong?

No.

Have I said something, have I offended you?

No.

I thought we’d had a nice evening?

We did.

Coming back here was your suggestion?

I know, but, on reflection—

Do you wanna come inside you said.

I know I know but I’ve changed my mind. I’m allowed to change my mind aren’t I?

If I’m allowed to ask why, sure. 

I just — I’d just rather not get into it.

Can you at least tell me if it’s me?

I just—

I’m not saying specifically— generally— generally speaking—

I’m just going through some things. At the moment. And you’re right, we’ve had a lovely evening and you’re right it was my idea to come back here, but, I just, as soon as we stepped inside, I started thinking— I mean I just started thinking— |

You want me to leave?

Not in a bad way, but yeah.

Have I done something wrong?

No.

Have I said something, have I offended you?

No.

Then I don’t understand?

I’m not asking you to understand, I’m asking you to leave.

Bit fucking rich, isn’t it?

I’m sorry?

This was your idea.

Charming.

I’m just saying. 

Okay—

It’s rude.

Yeah I’d like you to leave now. |

I should probably make a move.

You don’t— I mean don’t feel you have to.

I’ve got a really early start.

How early’s early?

Six.

You could— I mean you could— not in a like “welcome to my lair” way or anything, but — If you wanted, you could. Stay. 

I should probably head back. 

Well, look, I mean— thanks for a really lovely evening.

Likewise, yeah.

We should— I mean whenever you’re free, we should think about—

Definitely, yeah.

The lair thing was just a joke by the way.

Come again?

Sofa just folds out. You wouldn’t have to sleep in my bed. Stop talking, Marianne. |

(universe shift, M starts)

Not in a bad way, but yeah.

Have I done something wrong? 

No. 

Have I said something—

No.

I thought we’d had a nice evening?

We did.

Coming back here was your suggestion?

No, I know, but on reflection—

Do you wanna come inside, you said.

I know, but now I’ve changed my mind. I’m allowed to change my mind, aren’t I? I just— I’d just rather not get into it.