Act 2 Mamma Mia Donna Lines

What’s going on, Sophie? What are you doing? It’s six o’clock in the morning.

(END OF UNDER ATTACK)

Wait right there.

SOPHIE: I don’t know. I…

Of course you’re not all right—you’re sleepwalking again.

SOPHIE: I’m all right, Mom.

The night you came down with the measles. The time you couldn’t finish your times-table…

SOPHIE: Again? When do I ever sleep-walk?

I know, but you’re still my daughter, Soph, and I know that something’s wrong…(beat)…It can be stopped, it isn’t too late—I can sort out these wedding shenanigans…

SOPHIE: Oh, mom—get off, I’m not a baby.

I’m sorry—it’s just a figure of speech…

SOPHIE: Shenanigans? What do you mean—shenanigans?

Well, I’m not pretending I really understand, but…

SOPHIE: No, that’s what you think—isn’t it?—I’m stupid to get married, it’s just a whim?

What on Earth’s going on here? Why are you coming down on me?

SOPHIE: Of course you don’t. You did just fine without a man, didn’t you—you never did that marriage and babies thing. You just did the baby.

Geez, will you stop that racket before you wake the whole island! Eddie—where did you get that monstrosity?

SKY/PEPPER/EDDIE: (come in drunk singing Voulez-Vous)

No, they’re… and what sort of wedding do you think there’s going to be the state of the three of you? Sky, you’re not marrying my daughter smelling like a frat house—hit the tub.

EDDIE: Oh, he’s not so bad…

PEPPER: Hey!

EDDIE: …no, I found these babies in the cellar. Just what we need for a wedding. Are they yours, Donna?

Where do you think you’re going?

DONNA: …hit the tub. (To Pepper)

Oh no, you’re not. I want the champagne on ice and the ouzo in the punch-bowls, lay out the tablecloths, the cutlery and the best glasses—you’ll have to wash and polish them first…Eddie—get your boat out.

DONNA: Where do you think you’re going?

PEPPER: To scrub the groom’s back?

Because my guests want to dive down to the old wreck, to look for more pearl necklaces.

DONNA: …Eddie, get your boat out.

EDDIE: Why?

I don’t care—it’ll keep them busy till the wedding starts. For goodness sake, just do it!

EDDIE: Donna—we planted the one Sky found last night.

The small matter of a wedding.

SAM: Donna. What’s the rush?

They scare off unwanted visitors.

SAM: Oh yes—about this wedding…you kept my bag-pipes.

I wouldn’t. My bite is worse than my bark.

SAM: You don’t need bag-pipes to do that. (SAM takes a step toward her, DONNA takes a step back)

What do you want, Sam?

SAM: Yeah, I know—I’ve got the scars. Want to see them?

I don’t want your stupid extension! What are you doing here?

SAM: I’ve had an idea for an extension.

Well, this is my reality. Hard work and a crippling mortgage.

SAM: You’re living my dream—remember?—the island, the Taverna—my dream.

I’ll fix my own dang roof!

SAM: Would you like me to take a look at that roof, it won’t last through the winter.

Don’t you patronize me. I love doing it on my own—every morning I wake up and thank God I haven’t got some middle-aged, menopausal man to bother me—I’m single, I’m free, and it’s great!

SAM: Okay. Fine. Be a martyr! I’ve got kids, I know it’s hard for you, doing it on your own.

That’s absolutely none of your business.

SAM: Why didn’t you tell me it was Sophie getting married?

And that’s none of your business either!

SAM: And what’s this Sky guy like—is he good enough for her?

Can’t get my hat right, can’t get ANYTHING right… (knock)…Come in…

(KNOWING ME KNOWING YOU ENDS)

Harry—what are you doing here?

DONNA: Come in…

HARRY: (at same time) Donna…

I don’t mean here here, I mean here on this island…

HARRY: I wanted to give you this.

Holy mackerel! What’s this?

DONNA: …I mean here on this island…

HARRY: Please—

This would cover four weddings and a funeral! Oh, Harry—it’s a lovely gesture, but…

HARRY: I thought you must have had to tighten your belt a bit—over the years. Looking after Sophie on your own. I wanted to contribute a little something to the wedding.

No.

HARRY: (amused) Do you remember the last time you said that to me?

You just made that up. I’m sure I said thank you nicely, like a well-brought up Catholic girl.

HARRY: The night I bought you the guitar—I can remember thinking, those are the last words I’ll ever hear from Donna, and I’ll always treasure them. “Oh, Harry—it’s a lovely gesture, but…”

I’m a bit stressed, Harry—what do you expect?

HARRY: That’s better. You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you laugh since I arrived.

Hold on…Harry I can’t take this, I mean it—I don’t know why you think I should…Come in!

(END OF OUR LAST SUMMER)

The wedding?

HARRY: Donna—I want you to have it. We can’t talk about this now, but…I’ll see you at the wedding.

So, that’s the dress.

HARRY: I’ve been invited.

HARRY exits, DONNA is alone with SOPHIE. She’s in her wedding dress.

It’s gorgeous! Right then, are Ali and Lisa ready to help you?

DONNA: So, that’s the dress.

SOPHIE: Yes.

Hop in.

(DONNA is holding the wedding dress, underscore of Slipping Through My Fingers)

Why in the world would you say that?

SOPHIE: Do you think I’m letting you down?

Didn’t have much choice, did I? An unmarried Mom in the seventies? I couldn’t very well go back home, my mother disowned me.

SOPHIE: Cause everyone says your Mom’s so cool, running a business and bringing up a kid, all on her own…

It was a darn good thing, too. Rather be here than some depressing old housing project…Look at you.

SOPHIE: What? I…didn’t know.

Not now, Sam.

(SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS ENDS)

SAM: Donna?

Yes, of course I am. Who else?

SAM: Sophie tells me you’re giving her away.

He isn’t here.

SAM: How about her dad?

What? Don’t do this now, Sam—I don’t want to hear this now…

SAM: It’s what she wants, she told me—she wants her father here…and maybe her father wants that too.

And welcome to Sophie’s dad.

FATHER ALEXANDRIOS: Pleas be seated. Welcome—welcome to Sophie and Sky and all of your friends who have gathered on this day—and welcome especially to Donna, who represents your family. Dearly beloved, we are gathered…

I can’t keep it from you any longer. I have to tell you. He is here.

DONNA: And welcome to Sophie’s dad.

SOPHIE: What?

What?

DONNA: He is here.

SOPHIE: I know.

But—you couldn’t have. I don’t know which one of them it is…oh my GOSH! THAT’S why they’re all here!

DONNA: What?

SOPHIE: I invited him.

Will you ever forgive ME?

SOPHIE: I’m really, really sorry Mom—will you ever forgive me?

Oh, Sophie…I haven’t slept with hundreds of men!

SOPHIE: I don’t care if you’ve slept with hundreds of men, you’re my mother and I love you.

Yes, that’s right, and don’t you go getting all self-righteous on me, you’ve only got yourself to blame.

SAM: Hold it—am I getting this right? Sophie might be mine, but she might be Bill’s or Harry’s?

What?

SAM: It wasn’t like that! I was engaged, I had to go back home, I thought it was the right thing to do…but I came back!

Why didn’t you call me?

SAM: I told Lorraine I couldn’t marry her, and I came right back.

Oh Harry, the cheque! Of course!

HARRY: Sorry, if I might just cut in for a moment—

Oh, I haven’t got a clue what’s going on!

FATHER ALEXANDRIOS: Donna? Do I take it the wedding is cancelled?

Are you nuts? I’m not a Mormon…

SAM: Hold on. Why should we waste a good wedding? How about it, Sheridan? You’re going to need someone to order around on this island of yours.