Senate Olympics - 20 Senators 2025

The Senate Olympics !
The International Olympic Committee decided the next games would be hosted… in Washington, D.C. To prepare, 20 Senators formed teams and competed in quirky events that reflected their policies.

Chuck Grassley (R-IA)

at age 91, amazed everyone by outlasting the younger senators in the 10k run, crediting his farm work.

Amy Klobuchar (D-MN)

led the debate relay race, throwing witty one-liners faster than anyone else.

Marco Rubio (R-FL)

tried to win the swimming competition, but spent most of his time warning about China building the pool.

Rick Scott (R-FL)

promoted fiscal discipline by cutting the water budget for the swimming event.

John Fetterman (D-PA)

At 6’8” he dominated weightlifting, Jo king with the crowd while wearing gym shorts

Bernie Sanders (I-VT)

won the tug-of-war, shouting

Peter Welch (D-VT)

quietly excelled in archery, calling for precise policymaking.

Maria Cantwell (D-WA)

Lost the tech triathlon, where senators had to regulate streaming, AI, and broadband at once.

Catherine Cortez Masto (D-NV)

dazzled in gymnastics, explaining that Nevada knows all about balance and tourism.

Jacky Rosen (D-NV)

coded her way through the eSports exhibition, highlighting STEM education.

John Cornyn (R-TX)

organized the fencing team, citing the importance of strong defense.

Ben Ray Luján (D-NM)

sprinted with solar panels strapped to his back, championing renewable energy.

Martin Heinrich (D-NM)

handled the climbing wall, linking it to clean-energy infrastructure.

Michael Bennet (D-CO)

entered the mountain marathon, comparing Colorado’s terrain to long-term economic policy.

Deb Fischer (R-NE)

led the equestrian event, saying Nebraska knows horses and agriculture better than anyone.

Pete Ricketts (R-NE)

handled logistics, focusing on discipline and efficiency.

Chris Murphy (D-CT)

took on basketball, linking teamwork on the court to gun safety teamwork in Congress.

Richard Blumenthal (D-CT)

refereed events, reminding everyone of the importance of the rule of law.

In the end, the Senate Olympics didn’t solve gridlock, but at least the senators finally broke a sweat — and CSPAN got record ratings.