Thank You For Shopping | Harper Lines

REGISTER 1

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DREW. I wish there was something we could do to help.

Are you guys open?

BLAKE. I’m the boss.

Oh really? That’s so impressive from someone your age.

BLAKE. Excuse you. I’m forty-seven.

Well, you look great.

DREW. Wait, do I know you? Do you live here?

Used to. My family does, I was looking for an old friend. Maeve?

DREW. Are you Harper?

Uh, yes. How do you know that?

DREW. Do you…wanna see…Blake’s office?

Uh—

BLAKE. It’s a dumpster.

Not really—

REGISTER 2

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JORDAN. Guys, she’s really fast for an old person.

For the last time, I’m not old.

MAEVE. Harper?

Hey Maeve.

DREW. …surprise?

Sorry, I would’ve gotten here sooner but—

MAEVE. Well… hi.

Hey.

You look—

Your hair looks great.

DREW. BYE.

Jeez, the kids in this town are still crazy.

MAEVE. I know, right?

So…how have you been?

MAEVE. Fine. Good?

Cool, cool, cool. Me too. Very…fine.

Wow, big change in the selection.

MAEVE. I fought really hard for taffy.

You’ve always loved old-person candy. It’s so messed up.

MAEVE. Taffy isn’t old-person candy.

Taffy is such old-person candy! It’s right next to the butterscotch and nougat. You and your dad are such old souls.

Sorry—

MAEVE. So, what are you doing here?

I wanted to see you. Well, I have something to say to you.

MAEVE. Weird timing.

I know, I heard. I’m sorry—

MAEVE. I thought maybe I’d see you at the funeral but—

I know I—

MAEVE. I mean what’s it been, like, four years since you bailed? Why today?

Maeve…I didn’t come here to fight. Your dad was so important to me—

MAEVE. He was important to all of us.

He was! I mean, he was basically my dad too growing up—

MAEVE. He was my dad.

You’re right. But he was always kind to me and it meant a lot. I know he was yours. And I’m sorry for your loss.

MAEVE. Well, I’ve lost people before.

I know…your mom was amazing—

MAEVE. That’s not who I’m talking about.

Oh? Oh.

MAEVE. Yeah.

Maeve, that’s not the same—

MAEVE. We made a promise, Harp.

I know that—

MAEVE. Since we were kids. We were gonna grow up together, get the best grades in town—

And we did!

MAEVE. And then GET OUT. Together. We were supposed to go to college—

I know.

MAEVE. Room together.

I know.

MAEVE. Take on the world. Mae and Harp. Together.

Mae, I get it. But when your dad got sick, you decided to stay here. You had to bail.

MAEVE. You knew I had to be close to home.

Yeah, and when I got that scholarship I couldn’t say no.

MAEVE. You could’ve.

You could’ve. I couldn’t.

MAEVE. Is there a difference?

You know there’s a difference. We couldn’t afford—

MAEVE. I know that but—

I didn’t know how to tell you.

MAEVE. You waited til June—

I know—

MAEVE. I thought we had already planned to—

No, YOU planned to stay. I was still figuring stuff out. I didn’t want to get stuck here.

MAEVE. Cool. Ouch.

That’s not what I meant.

MAEVE. It’s literally what you just said.

You have the store. You have a life here if you want it.

MAEVE. Well what if I still don’t want it?!

You don’t?

MAEVE. I never did. You know that— knew that.

But you stayed—

MAEVE. I had to!

Not everything has to fall on you—

MAEVE. Yes, it actually does!

What if it didn’t have to?

MAEVE. What are you talking about, Harper?

Didn’t you just say you still wanted an out? After all this time?

MAEVE. Yeah…what is that…

It’s a contract. For ownership of the store.

MAEVE. I own the store.

I know but what if—

MAEVE. Get out.

Mae, let me finish—

MAEVE. No. You’ve said enough. I’m not letting you or your fancy business friends take over my family’s store.

I’m not—

REGISTER 3

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MAEVE. I thought I told you to get out.

And I thought you’d never say no to a best friend twist?

MAEVE. You didn’t—

Of course I didn’t— yet. It takes two to twist.

MAEVE. I’ve grown up. I can commit to one shake flavor at a time now.

But I got us vanilla and chocolate. Who wants just vanilla or chocolate?

MAEVE. You can’t just make things better with milkshakes.

It’s not just milkshakes, it’s milkshakes from the diner.

MAEVE. I can’t be bought.

Just shut up and drink. Don’t make me have this brain freeze alone.

It’s still really good after all these years.

MAEVE. We were culinary geniuses. This doesn’t mean we’re good.

Maeve—

MAEVE. It’s messed up. You show up out of nowhere on the day of my dad’s funeral. For what? The scraps? So your corporate megamart bosses can make a buck?

It’s an investment company that acquires—

MAEVE. Whatever.

But that’s not what I’m here for—

MAEVE. You never cared about this place anyway. Or me. Or my dad for that matter.

I did. Of course I did. And for what it’s worth, the funeral was beautiful.

MAEVE. What are you talking about? You weren’t even there!

You really think I wouldn’t come to your dad’s funeral?

MAEVE. But I didn’t—

I was in the parking lot. I couldn’t come in. And I didn’t want to freak you out.

MAEVE. Freak me out?

We haven’t seen each other in four years, Mae. You really wanted the first time to be there?

MAEVE. Oh.

I just didn’t know the right thing to do. I get that you might not believe it, but he really did mean a lot to me.

MAEVE. He was a good dad, wasn’t he?

Do you remember when we had that soccer tournament across the state junior year?

MAEVE. Oh my god, yes. My dad drove us—

And made us stop at every roadside attraction we passed by?

MAEVE. I had no idea the biggest ball of yarn was so close!

Right? I still think about that huge rocking chair just sitting off the highway.

MAEVE. He always took the time to notice the little things like that.

That’s why he liked the diner so much.

MAEVE. What do you mean?

Do you remember my birthday tradition?

MAEVE. Yeah, dad took us to the diner like he always did.

Do you know why he always did that?

MAEVE. For the best friend twist?

No. Well, yes but—your dad kept my birthday marked on the calendar behind the register, same as yours. He’d always ask me the week before, “Hey Harp, what’s the birthday plan?” And every year, I’d have to tell him… there is no plan. Mom’s at work. Dad’s who knows where. So he’d take us to the diner.

MAEVE. And he’d always order way too much food.

Yeah…it was never weird to you that your dad always gave me the leftovers?

MAEVE. No?

And ordered the extra burgers the exact way my brothers liked?

MAEVE. I guess I didn’t—

He was the reason I had birthdays. I should’ve gone into the funeral.

MAEVE. It might have been for the best. I would have ripped your head off either way.

Your dad taught me to pay attention. When you kicked me out earlier, I sat in the diner, ordered a milkshake, and looked at the store across the street. I remember people-watching with you and your dad over there as kids. He knew everyone’s name. What food they liked, what food they hated. I mean, he would talk to people at the registers, for like, hours. It was almost impossible to buy ice. Whatever was going on in your life, he stayed the same. He was always there. Honestly, your dad almost made me appreciate it here. And I was sitting over there, after you went off on me. And I watched all those people come into this old grocery store and they always left happier than they came. And it just made me miss this place. And your dad. And you.

MAEVE. Maybe you have to leave a place to miss it.

I know I did. It’s funny, I don’t know if I would’ve been able to leave without him.

MAEVE. What are you talking about?

The letter.

MAEVE. What letter?

The letter of recommendation your dad wrote? The admissions people at school said it was a huge reason why I got the scholarship. I was never able to thank him enough.

Maeve, what’s up?

MAEVE. Oh my god.

What?

MAEVE. He didn’t tell me.

What do you mean he didn’t tell you?

MAEVE. I mean he didn’t tell me. About the letter.

I thought you knew.

MAEVE. Doesn’t matter now, I guess. He’s gone—

Maeve, woah—

MAEVE. No. He’s really gone. I can’t even be mad at him anymore. And it’s been suuuuper fun catching up with you. But I’m not my dad. I’m not going to pity you just to make you feel better. And all the milkshakes in the world won’t make me forget that. Harper, I didn’t mean—

I know what you meant. Great catching up.

REGISTER 4

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DREW. If it helps…it looked awesome.

Do you have any paper towels…

DREW. I’m gonna go…you’re the best, Maeve, I’ll see you tomorrow. I just wanna say, I don’t know what happened to your car.

I didn’t say it was my car…

DREW. Uh…have a great night you two! And stay safe! I hear there are people making really awesome soda explosions all over town.

Paper towels?

MAEVE. Same aisle as always.

Are you the only register open?

MAEVE. We’re about to close so—oh, you don’t have to—

I’ll buy ‘em. I don’t need your pity, right?

MAEVE. Harp—

I just need to wipe down my driver’s seat and I can get out of your life again.

MAEVE. Oh…

Yeah…my windows were down…

MAEVE. That sucks. I’m really sorry.

Well, we pulled worse back in our day.

MAEVE. Remember when we would have /

/ shopping cart races down the hill.

MAEVE. My dad told me he’d switch to baskets only if we ever tried that again.

How were we supposed to know grocery carts went that fast?

MAEVE. Did your company put you up at a hotel?

I’m staying at my mom’s. How does your night look?

MAEVE. You’re looking at it. Closing as always.

Didn’t you open?

MAEVE. What’s new?

You didn’t want to take a day off? Of all days?

MAEVE. My house is full of extended family making casseroles and talking about him. Working a double didn’t seem all that bad.

I get that.

MAEVE. Plus…nevermind, it’s too weird.

Tell me.

MAEVE. Well, it…it sort of feels like he’s still here?

In the store?

MAEVE. Yeah. Doesn’t it?

Maybe. Like in the hum of the lights or something. Or the freezers.