MWOW Lines - Fenton and Sir Hugh Evans

SHALLOW: Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and compromises between you.

SHALLOW: The council shall bear it; it is a riot.

It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no fear of God in a riot.

SHALLOW: Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.

It is better that friends is the sword, and end it: and there is also another device in my brain, which peradventure brings good discretions with it: there is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity.

SHALLOW: Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.

It is that very person for all the world, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his death's-bed - God deliver to a joyful resurrections! It were a good motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between yourself and Mistress Anne Page.

SHALLOW: Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?

Ay, and her father is make her a better penny.

SHALLOW: I know the gentlewoman; she has good gifts.

Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is good gifts.

SHALLOW: Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?

Shall I tell you a lie? The knight, Sir John, is there; and I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers.

[PAGE knocks]

What, hoa! God bless your house here!

PAGE: Who's there?

Here is God's blessing, and your friend. And Justice Shallow; that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.

PAGE: Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.

It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.

FALSTAFF: Is this true, Pistol?

No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.

SHALLOW: …If I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.

So God udge me, that is a virtuous mind.

SHALLOW: …made afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do you understand me?

Give ear to his motions, Master Shallow(?): I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.

SHALLOW: Nay, I will do as you say.

But that is not the question: the question is concerning your marriage, the very point of it, to Mistress Anne Page

SHALLOW: Why if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands.

But can you affection the woman? Let us command to know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?

SHALLOW: I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do reason.

Nay, God's lords and his ladies! You must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her.

ANNE PAGE: The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company.

God's blessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.

(A1S2)

Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which is the way; and there dwells one Mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.

SIMPLE: Well, sir.

Nay, it is better yet. Give her this letter; for it is a woman that altogether's acquaintance with Mistress Anne Page: and the letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your master's desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray you, be gone: I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: …Never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.

Who's within there? ho!

MISTRESS QUICKLY: Who's there, I trow! Come near the house, I pray you.

How now, good woman? How dost though? How does pretty Mistress Anne?

MISTRESS QUICKLY: In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.

Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit?

MISTRESS QUICKLY: Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye?

Yes, marry, have I; what of that?

MISTRESS QUICKLY: Well, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such another Anne; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread: we had an hour's talk of that wart. I shall never laugh but in that maid's company!

Well, I shall see her today. Hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: Will I? i'faith, that we will; and I will tell your worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers.

Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.

(A3S1)

I pray you now, good master Shallow's serving-man, have you looked for Master Caius, that calls himself doctor of physic? I most vehemently desire you will look that way.

SIMPLE: I will, sir.

Bless my soul, how full of chollors I am, and trembling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived me. How melancholies I am! [sing]

SIMPLE: Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh.

He's welcome. [sing]

PAGE: Save you, good Sir Hugh!

Bless you from his mercy sake, all of you!

PAGE: And youthful still! In your doublet and hose this raw rheumatic day!

There is reasons and causes for it.

PAGE: We are come to you to do a good office, master parson.

Very well, what is it?

SHALLOW: I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning so wide of his own respect.

What is he?

PAGE I think you know him; Master Doctor Caius, the renowned French physician.

A cowardly knave as you would desires to be acquainted withal.

DOCTOR CAIUS: I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear. Vherefore vill you not meet-a me?

Pray you, use your patience: in good time.

DOCTOR CAIUS: My gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.

Pray you let us not be laughing-stocks to other men's humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends. I will knog your knave's cockscomb for missing your meetings and appointments.

DOCTOR CAIUS: Diable! Have I not stay for him to kill him? Have I not, at de place I did appoint?

As I am a Christians soul now, look you, this is the place appointed: I'll be judgement by mine host of the Garter.

DOCTOR CAIUS: Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha?

This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I desire you that we may be friends; and let us knog our brains together to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy cogging companion, the host of the Garter.

DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me where is Anne Page. By gar, he deceive me too.

Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you, follow.

FORD: True, Master Page. Up, gentlemen: you shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen.

This is very fantastical humours and jealousies.

FORD: Ay, ay; I must bear it.

If there be anybody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgement!

FORD: 'Tis my fault, Master Page: I suffer for it.

You suffer for a bad conscience: your wife is as honest a womans as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.

FORD: Any thing.

If there is one, I shall make two in the company.

(A3S4)

I see I cannot get thy father's love; Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Anne.

ANNE PAGE: Alas, how then?

Why, thou must be thyself. He doth object I am too great of birth-, And that, my state being gall'd with my expense, I seek to heal it only by his wealth: Besides these, other bars he lays before me, My riots past, my wild societies; And tells me 'tis a thing impossible I should love thee but as a property.

ANNE PAGE: Maybe he tells you true.

No, heaven so speed me in my time to come! Albeit I will confess thy father's wealth Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne: Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value Than stamps in gold or sums in sealed bags;

PAGE: …You wrong me, sir, thus to haunt my house: I told you, sir, my daughter is disposed of.

Nay, Master Page, be not impatient.

PAGE: She is no match for you.

Sir, will you hear me?

MISTRESS PAGE: …Till then farewell, sir: she must needs go in; His father will be angry.

Farewell, gentle mistress: farewell, Anne.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: This is my doing, now: 'Nay,' said I, 'will you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on Master Fenton:' this is my doing.

I thank thee; and I pray thee, once tonight give my sweet Anne this ring: there's for thy pains.

PAGE: Why, this passes, Master Ford; you are not to go loose any longer; you must be pinioned.

Why, this is lunatics! This is mad as a mad dog!

FORD: I shall find you anon.

'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's clothes? Come away.

SHALLOW: By my fidelity, this is not well, Master Ford; this wrongs you.

Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies.

MISTRESS FORD: Nay, he will do it. 'Tis a goodly credit for you.

By the yea and no, I think the woman is a witch indeed: I like not when a woman has a great beard; I spy a great beard under his muffler.

(A4S4)

'Tis one of the best discretions of a woman as ever I did look upon.

PAGE: How? To send him word they'll meet him in the park at midnight? Fie, fie! He'll never come.

You say he has been thrown in the rivers and has been grieviously beaten as an old woman: methinks there should be terrors in him that he should not come; methinks his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires.

FORD: The children must be well practised to this, or they'll never do it.

I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

MISTRESS PAGE: Fear not you that. Go get us properties And tricking for our fairies.

Let us about it: it is an admirable pleasures and very honest knaveries.

HOST: Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy: I will give over all.

Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose, And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee A hundred pound in gold more than your loss.

HOST: I will hear you, Master Fenton; and I will at the least keep your counsel.

From time to time I have acquainted you With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; Who mutually hath answer'd my affection, So far as forth as herself might be her chooser, Even to my wish: I have a letter from her Of such contents as you will wonder at The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, That neither singly can be manifested, Without the show of both; fat Falstaff Hath a great scene: the image of the jest I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host. To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one, Must my sweet Anne represent the Fairy Queen; The purpose why, is here: in which disguise, While other jests are something rank on foot, Her father hath commanded her to slip Away with Shallow and with him at Eton Immediately to marry: she hath consented: Now, sir, Her mother, ever strong against that match And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed That he shall likewise shuffle her away, And at the deanery, where a priest attends, Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath Made promise to the doctor And in that habit, when Shallow sees his time To take her by the hand and bid her go, She shall go with him: her mother hath intended, The better to denote her to the doctor, For they must all be masked and vizarded, That quaint in green she shall be loose enrobed, With ribands pendent, flaring 'bout her head; And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe, To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token, The maid hath given consent to go with him.

HOST: Which means she to decieve, father or mother?

Both, my good host, to go along with me: And here it rests, that you'll procure the vicar To stay for me at church 'twixt twelve and one, And, in the lawful name of marrying, To give our hearts united ceremony.

HOST: Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar. Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.

So shall I evermore be bound to thee; Besides, I'll make a present recompense.

(A5S4)

Trip, trip, fairies; come; and remember your parts: be bold, I pray you; follow me into the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I bid you: come, come; trip, trip.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: …Our dance of custom round about the oak Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.

Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in order set And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be, To guide our measure round about the tree. But, stay; I smell a man of middle-earth.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: And turn him to no pain; but if he start, It is the flesh of a corrupted heart.

Come, will this wood take fire?

MISTRESS PAGE: Why went you not with master doctor, maid?

You do amaze her: hear the truth of it. You would have married her most shamefully, Where there was no proportion held in love. The truth is, she and I, long since contracted, Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us.