137C Final Exam

Relationship Maintenance

The routine behaviors and strategies partners undertake to help ensure that their relationship will continue and/or improve

Are all acts of relationship maintenance intentional and deliberate?

No

What three things are involved in relationship maintenance?

Taking steps to keep a good relationship strong, adverts declines, or repairs a relationship that is struggling

What three elements are typically required to maintain a healthy relationship?

Shared revelations, personal expressions, and disclosures

As a relationship matures partners talk less about ______ and more about ______

their backgrounds; daily events

What is it about personal expressions and disclosures that makes them so critical for a healthy relaitonship?

The key is not simply in what a partner reveals, but also in how the other partner responds

Intimacy Process Model

A framework that defines intimacy in terms of disclosures and responses to those disclosures that serve to deepen or weaken feelings of understanding, validation, and caring in a committed relationship

What are the 3 main components of the Intimacy Process Model?

1. Disclosure and expressions

2. How the partner receives and responds to them

3. The judgements the self-disclosing partner makes about themselves and the relationship

According to the Intimacy Process Model, how is intimacy best understood?

As a process

What 3 things may a person come to believe as a result of the Intimacy Process Model?

1. The partner understands core aspects of one's inner self

2. The partner validates, respects, and values core aspects of one's self

3. The partner cares for and displays concern for one's welfare

What is the problem with premature disclosures?

They can be off-putting

Interpretive Filter

A key component of the intimacy process model that involves how partners understand each other's disclosures and responses; sensitive, empathic interpretations increase feelings of closeness and intimacy, whereas critical or dismissive interpretations can threaten these feelings.

How is responsiveness understood?

The words our partner says, how they are said, and when they are said

In order for a person's behavior to be considered responsive, what 4 steps must they follow?

1. Listen to initial disclosure

2. Understand the superficial meaning conveyed in the words, as well as subtle hidden meanings

3. Respond in a way that reflects this understanding

4. Know whether, when, and how to make the transition to another topic

Empathy

The capacity to understand and share another person's thoughts and feelings

What is an interpretive filter influenced by?

Motives, needs, goals, and fears

What determines the degree of empathy and sensitivity a partner shows to their partner's disclosures?

Their interpretive filter

According to the Intimacy Process Model, what links disclosures to the self-diclosure's feelings of being understood, validated, and cared for?

Responsiveness

Are the words we intend to convey always synonymous with the words that register with our partner?

No!

What 3 things do partners who are responsive and empathic promote?

Emotional expression, closeness, and well-being in their mate

A diary study that investigated the IPM found what?

increased self-disclosure predicted better perceived partner responsiveness, which in turn predicted stronger feelings of closeness

A study investigating patients with severe knee pain found that ____ was predictive of how quickly the patient was able to be mobile, regardless of _____

partner's displays of empathy and affection after and expression of pain; how happy they were in general in their relationship

Do individuals from all cultures benefit from haing a responsive partner?

Individuals from Eastern cultures benefit less than Western cultures

What were the findings of a study that investigates high self-esteem and low self-esteem individuals after they were told they failed a standardized achievement test and had to disclose it to their partner?

high self-esteem = more valued by partner after disclosing, less valued by concealing

low self-esteem = more valued by partner after concealing, less valued after disclosing

Does face-to-face communication generate more or less responsiveness than online communication between partners?

face-to-face = more responsiveness

What does greater reliance on online communication increase the chance of?

face-to-face conversation will be less satisfying and more conflictual

How can we define the relationship between smartphone use and the maintenance of intimate bonds

evolutionary mismatch

What are 5 main ways partners communicate closeness and maintain their relationship?

1. Engaging in shared activities

2. Supporting each other

3. Capitalizing on positive experiences

4. Forgiving

5. Sexual intimacy

Self-expansion Model

A perspective on relationship maintenance based on the idea that people want to increase their capacity and effectiveness to achieve their goals and strive to acquire resources, enrich their identity, and strengthen their skills; intimate relationships are a common way people attempt to improve, or expand, themselves.

On average, relationships become ____ fulfilling as time passes

less

In a series of studies where couples completed relationship satisfaction questionnaires and then were asked to participate in an obstacle course, what were the findings?

Compared to the control group, those who participated together in a challenging task reported a burst of mutual satisfaction.

Shared activities increase communication between partners with _____and ____ being most crucial for positive effects

novelty; intensity

Engaging in self-expanding activities in the context of a relationship predicts ________ levels of _________ and ________ levels of ________

Lower; Depression

Higher; Sexual functioning

Social Integration

Involvement and interconnectedness with other people

Social Support

The resources and assistance, both practical and emotional, that relationship partners provide each other; response to another's need; acts that communicate caring

What did a study measuring social support via wives engaged in a weight-loss program find regarding involvement from the women's husbands?

Wives were more likely to succeed in a weight-loss programs when the husbands were told to be as uninvolved as possible

According to the literature, the support people ____________ tends to be beneficial as they face various stressors, whereas the support people ____________ is sometimes beneficial and sometimes not.

perceive to be available to them; actually receive

Visible Support

Support the recipient knows they have received

Invisible support

support received from another person that is outside the recipient's awareness

What kind of support is more beneficial to the recipient's emotional state?

Invisible

Describe the findings about the experiment investigating perceived/given support for law students studying for the bar exam

When law students got support, their depression and anxiety both increased - when partners hap provided more support than the law students reported seeing, their anxiety and depression both decreased

Define the broaden-and-build theory

In the context of relationship maintenance, the idea that expressing positive emotions enhances how partners think about and respond to daily events, and helps to build the resources for maintaining well-being

Capitalization

An interpersonal process in which positive events are disclosed by one partner and elaborated on by the other partner, thereby enhancing the association between those events and the relationship; a strategy for maintaining intimacy.

What kind of response category is linked to the higher levels of intimacy?

Active-constructive

What kind of response catagorie(s) linked to lower levels of initimacy?

Passive-constructive and Passive-deconstructive

Forgiveness

The transformation of anger or hurt feelings into a desire to be generous and unselfish toward the offending partner

For forgiveness to occur _____ must shift on the ______ level and ______ must shift on the ________ level

motivation; interpersonal; behavior; intrapersonal

The term for forgiveness that occurs with only the intrapersonal shift

Silent forgiveness

The term for forgiveness that occurs with only the interpersonal shift

Hollow forgiveness

Why can forgiveness be a challenge?

Partners adopt biased perspectives about the transgression

Whether or not one partner forgives the other for a transgression occurring in their relationship appears to depend on what 4 factors?

1. Seriousness of the offense

2. Personality of the victim

3. Qualities of the apology

4. Qualities of the relationship

What are the three stages of forgiveness for significant betrayals?

Impact stage

Meaning stage

Moving-on stage

Impact Stage

Partners learn of the transgression and begin to recognize the effect it has on them and their relationship

Meaning Stage

The offended partner tries to make some sense of why the transgression happened

Moving-on Stage

Occurs as the victim finds ways to adjust to and move beyond the incident

When the Pew Research team asked adults in the US to rate elements of a successful marriage what were the top qualities reported?

A happy sexual relationship and faithfulness were reported to be the most important above all else

Sexual Satisfaction

a partner's evaluation of the quality of the sexual aspect of an intimate relationship

Describe the relationship between relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction

Partners who are more satisfied in their sex lives are more happy in their relationships overall - this is true for dating couples and married couples

What is the impact of attachment style on the relationship between sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction?

relationship satisfaction is more affected by sexual satisfaction for people with an anxious attachment style

relationship satisfaction is less affected by sexual satisfaction for those with avoidant attachment

What is the impact of gender on the relationship between sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction?

The association is stronger for men than it is for women

Involuntary Celibacy

going without sex for an extended period of time despite the presence of sexual desire

What were the findings about when college students were asked how a potential partner's previous sexual history affected their willingness to pursue a relationship with that person?

Partners with no sexual history were less attractive than partners with a handful of previous partners

Those with more than a handful became increasingly less attractive

In early years of a relationship sexual satisfaction predicts changes in relationship satisfaction and visa versa. In later years, how does this relationship change?

Sexual satisfaction still predicts relationship satisfaction, but relationship satisfaction no longer predicts sexual satisfaction

On average couples have _____ sex as they get older

less

What are 2 main reasons couples have less sex as they get older?

1. Age itself

2. Changes in relationship satisfaction

When does sexual frequency and sexual satisfaction tend to peak in a relationship?

Peaks in the first year, with marked decline in the second year

Where were the biggest differences found when studying sexual frequency and sexual satisfaction?

Between people having infrequent sex and people having sex once a week: having sex more often provided no additional benefits

What behaviors led to more satisfaction in sex?

More variety! Less about specifically what behaviors

What were the findings of a study with 44 married couples and a 5 session therapeutic intervention focusing on improving marital communication?

Increased sexual satisfaction - even when sec was not the target of therapy

Regardless of frequency of sex, what is a huge factor leading to sexual satisfaction between couples?

Responsiveness

Consensual Nonmonogamy

An umbrella term referring to the variety of ways partners arrange, with the knowledge and consent of all parties, to experience sexual and/or emotional intimacy with multiple people

Swinging

A practice in which committed partners exchange partners for sec or include others in their sex life

Open Relationship

An explicit agreement between two committed partners that each has the option of pursuing sexual or emotional connections with other people

Polyamory

the practice of engaging in ongoing emotional and sexual relationships with multiple people, with the knowledge and consent of all parties involved

How do nonmonogamous individuals rate their sexual satisfaction compared to monogamous couples?

Nonmonogamous couples rate their satisfaction as high or sometimes higher than monogamous couples

How is the relationships polyamorous people have with different partners related to overall satisfaction?

Mostly unique to each pairing. There is some positive correlation between partnerships but the size of the association is small

What are the main 4 broad themes of why people have sex?

Physical, Goal attainment, Emotional, and Insecurity

What ere the findings of a study that showed sexual or neutral images subliminally to participants?

Participants shown sexy photos expressed greater willingness to make sacrifices for their partner and a stronger preference for compromise and cooperation in the face of disagreements

Sexual Afterglow

A short-term surge in relationship satisfaction immediately following sex

On average, how long does it take for sexual afterglow affects to wear off?

Three days

The stronger the sexual afterglow, the _________ their satisfaction with the relationship as a whole up to _________

higher; 6 months later

Approach Motives

The drive to pursue rewards

Avoidance Motives

The drive to avoid costs

What is the relationship between sexual satisfaction and avoidance motives?

Partners who have sex for avoidance motives were less satisfied and far more likely to break up

When one partner has sex for avoidance reasons. the other partner reports lower levels of satisfaction

Perceiving avoidance is enough to deter satisfaction, regardless of the accuracy of that perception

Couples were __________ with their relationship when spouses were higher in negative affectivity

significantly less satisfied

For couples having sex fairly often, how did spouses higher in negative affectivity compare to those lower in negative affectivity in regards to relationship satisfaction?

They were just as satisfied

Insecure spouses who have sex less frequently are _____ satisfied in their marriages, but the effects of insecure attachment ______ when ________

less; disappear; couples have sex more often

Having a partner who is ______ and _______ can change a person's attachment style

sensitive and responsive

In a study where researchers measured desire and intimacy in a 10 minute conversation of partners who had just started dating talking about their sex lives, and how their partner's attachment changed over the next 8 months, what did they find?

women who expressed high levels of intimacy = male partners became less anxious over time

men who expressed high levels of desire = female partners became less anxious over time

What are 4 ways sex can improve health and well-being?

Kissing lowers cholesterol

Physical intimacy reduces physical symptoms

Sex affects hormone levels

Sex burns calories

How have rates of American sex changed over the last 25 years?

Steadily declining

Never married folks are having _______ sex as they were 25 years ago

as much

_________ people are having less sec than they were 25 years ago.

Married

What are three main contributing factors to the declining rate of sex in married couples?

1. Lack of time

2. Division of labor

3. Pornography

Couples spend _____ time at work and on childcare and _____ time alone together than 20 years ago, on average.

more; less

How does the division of household chores and childcare contribute to frequency of sex?

Couples who divided chores based on gender roles used to have more sex.

Currently, couples who share equally in chores and childcare have more sex

Pornography

Any type of media featuring nudity or sexual behavior that is explicitly intended to cause sexual arousal

What are three causes for concern regarding easy access for porn?

1. Comparison effects

2. Attention drawn to alternatives outside the relationship

3. May affect partner's beliefs about what behaviors are acceptable to their own relationships

What are three factors that can moderate the effects of porn?

1. Frequency of use (moderate use is okay)

2. Different for women than men (linked to better relationships for women)

3. Dependent on how couples use it (together can increase closeness)

Sexual Coercion

Using verbal strategies, physical means, or other manipulative tactics to pressure a partner into having unwanted sex