Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication

Phonological Rules

govern how sounds are combined to form words(e.g., the words champagne, double, and occasion have the same meaning in French and English, but are pronounced differently).

Semantic Rules

govern our use (meaning) of language. Semantic rules are what make it possible for us to agree that "bikes" are for riding and "books" are for reading.

Syntactic Rules

govern the way symbols can be arranged (e.g., "Have you the cookies bought?" is an acceptable sentence in German).

Pragmatic Rules

distinguish the accurate meanings of speech acts in a particular context (e.g., "I want to see you" is likely to mean one thing when uttered by your boss and another entirely when coming from your lover)

Defensive Communication

One of the most destructive relationship behaviors and a leading indicator of future divorce. Consists of Four types.

Dogmatism

When we use emotional justification rather than evidence-based justifications (e.g., operating from a sense of self).

Superiority

When we act superior, we are saying that we are correct to the other person and infers that they must be damaged

Indifference:

When we show a lack of caring or connection to the other person (s) and/or the content of the message.

Control Messages

These messages are meant to coerce, rather than persuade relational partners. When we are told what to do using manipulative or coercive messages, we tend to behave

Bias

relates your preference (e.g., favorite color is blue). Can involvestereotyping, which is largely negative. Involves classifying people (e.g., all blondesare dumb).

Prejudiceness

When stereotyping turns from an attitude or belief into ahateful action. Involves a preconceived judgment or opinion that is based onlimited information.

Hate Speech

Messages that are used to hurt, incite violence, and inflict psychological harm

Gratitude

As humans, we need validation and confirming messages (e.g.,remember birthdays, telling someone they are appreciated).

Supportive Messages

They improve our communication and our relationships

Deliver Bad News and Condolence

Begin with empathy. Verbally express your gratitude, show support, and be there to listen and perspective take.

Misunderstanings

Do your best to be clear and articulate verbally and nonverbally. An apology may be necessary.

Avoiding Common Errors

Three types (1) Shared knowledge error; (2) Shared opinion Errors; and (3) Monopolization Errors.

Dual Perspective

Being empathetic, or having a dual perspective, relates to how we want to walk in another person's shoes when communicating.

Language of Responsibility

"I" language is best to accept responsibility. "You" statements infer blame