Family Systems Theory

Who developed family systems theory?

Murray Bowen, who was the oldest child in a large, close-knit family in Tennessee. Several generations of his family lived the same town.

According to family systems theory, the basic common reality for all families that comes with living and expresses itself emotionally and physically is:

anxiety

How does family systems theory define family?

as a system of interrelated, interdependent people whereby each person is intimately and intricately connected to others, like a living organism

What are the characteristics of family systems, according to family systems theory?

- the system is made up of interrelated elements and structure that create the whole

- individuals interact in predictable patterns that are repeated

- the system maintains an equilibrium

- the system establishes rules, patterns, and messages about how open or closed boundaries should be; no family is completely open or completely closed; most rules, patterns, and messages are not written down

- the system functions by the composition law -- the whole is more than the sum of its parts

- the system maintains subsystems that include alliances; each subsystem has its own rules and alliances

How is birth order relevant to family systems theory?

It influences general patterns of behavior by affecting a person's choice of strategies to his/her needs met with the family. Although it is not destiny, each child has a particular place in the family hierarchy.

What are the common characteristics of only children?

- little adult by age 7

- very thorough

- deliberate

- high achiever

- self-motivated

- fearful

- cautious

- all or nothing thinker

- can't bear to fail

- very high expectations of self

- more comfortable with people who are older or younger

What are the common characteristics of middle children?

- mediator

- compromising

- diplomatic

- avoids conflict

- independent

- loyal to peers

- many friends

- nonconformist

- secretive

- unspoiled

- entrepreneur

- more liberal than 1st borns

What are the common characteristics of firstborns?

- perfectionist

- reliable

- conscientious

- list maker

- well organized

- hard driving

- natural leader

- critical

- serious

- scholarly

- logical

- doesn't like surprises

- males -- more physically aggressive

- females -- more verbally aggressive

What are the common characteristics of last borns?

- manipulative

- charming

- blames others

- attention seeker

- tenacious

- people person

- natural salesperson

- precocious

- engaging

- affectionate

- loves surprises

- more liberal than 1st borns

How does the birth order researcher differentiate firstborns and later borns?

Firstborns are natural leaders -- most U.S. presidents have been 1st borns. Later borns are more innovative than 1st borns.

What does it mean to describe the family as an ecosystem?

It means that the members of the family are interdependent, which means that they are:

- connected emotionally

- affect each other's thoughts, feelings, and actions

- seek one another's approval & support

- react to each other's needs, distress, and expectations

According to family systems theory, what two basic forces does family functioning and development rest on?

Balancing the drive for individuality & togetherness.

- Individuality propels us to be on our own and create a unique identity.

- Too much individuality results in a distant and estranged family.

- Togetherness pushes us to be in relationship and a part of something larger than the self. -

- Too much togetherness creates fusion and prevents individuality.

Individuality

When balanced, healthy relationships created & maintained.

- When unbalanced, relationships deteriorate.

What happens to families with less effective methods of dealing with anxiety?

They are:

- more vulnerable to stressors,

- more prone to dysfunctions, and

- dysfunctions are more likely to be chronic.

What are some positive ways that families deal with anxiety?

- daily routines & structure

- humor

- shared meals & traditions

- sports & exercise

- music & movies & art

- travel

- hobbies

What are some negative ways that families deal with anxiety?

- sarcasm

- shaming

- ridicule

- contempt

- criticism

- defensiveness

- stonewalling

- running away

- alcohol & drug abuse

What does differentiation mean in the family systems theory context?

Ability to maintain sense of self when emotionally and/or physically close to others.

- Especially as they become increasingly important.

If differentiated, you can disagree with others and not feel alienated.

According to family systems theory, how is the differentiation in the families we grow up important?

Generally, people are romantically attracted to those who are at a similar level of differentiation.

Optimal development in a family occurs when:

Family members are differentiated.

Chronic anxiety is kept low.

Parents are in good emotional contact with their families of origin.

According to family systems theory, what is fusion?

The merging of the family's thoughts and feelings into one codependent system whereby individuals are easily stressed into dysfunction.

- Difficulty separating thoughts from feelings

- Difficulty thinking logically

- Difficulty separating own feelings from others'

- Often flooded with feelings

- Easily fuse with whatever emotions dominate the family

What is triangulation?

A triadic relationship formed within a family because of anxiety or an anxiety provoking event, characterized by three primary roles -- the victim, the perpetrator, and the rescuer

What is the most effective way to resolve triangulation?

To act as a mediator: the rescuer attempts to resolve conflict between the 2 others to restore the stability of the triad

How can a family avoid triangulation?

Differentiate!

- Tolerate differences with grace.

- Communicate calmly & rationally about feelings, needs, expectations

What is emotional cutoff?

a rigid boundary which prevents emotional interaction between individuals who otherwise have strong bonds. Often intended to avoid the pain of unresolved emotional conflicts. People who isolate from their family often repeat the emotional and behavioral patterns they were taught.

What does a healthy family look like by family systems theory standards?

Balanced

Adapt to change

Connect across generations

Have a minimum amount of fusion & distance

Have dyads that can deal with problems & stresses between them

Tolerate differences

Preserve a positive emotional climate

Have members who think it's a pretty good family

Have members who use each other for feedback rather than emotional crutches

Forgive each other

over-functioning

tend to overdo for others under stress; those who take too much responsibility for the family and others' behavior when anxious

under-functioning

tend to get less competent under stress; those who take too little responsibility for the family and others' behavior when anxious