puffs lines

Narrator: Year one: The Puffs and the Sorceror's attempt at earning points and making friends (Scene change to puff comon room)

Guys. Guess what? We're all wizards.

J Finch: Hey, we should all introduce ourselves?

Hi! (repeat after each)

Hannah: Who's that? It's me Hannah... I'm Hannah
Puffs: Hi!

I was raised in a cabin by my grandparents and you're the first other children I've ever seen, oh and I'm a wizard! And my name is Leanne.

Cedric: People will make jokes about you

Aw (repeat after each)

Cedric: Third or nothing!

Third or nothing. Third or nothing! THIRD OR NOTHING!

J Finch: If Cedric's going to bed, I'm going to bed too! J. Finch out!

Ooo bed!

Megan: Yep and my mom was one of his most feared followers. I warn you... I'm just as awesome and scary as she is.

Megan! Our beds are stacked on top of each other. Magically!

Megan: It's a bunk bed?

We're wizards!

*Bell rings*

Class!

A Certain Potions Teacher: Sit. Everyone. Now, You are here to learn the art of potion ma- Ohhhh Puffs.

Hi!

A Certain Potions Teacher: Wrong. That's the ocean.

It's that dance where everyone is a train! Choo Choo!

A Certain Potions Teacher: If you manage to succeed in my course this year, I will eat a shoe. Ten points from the Puffs.

I ate a shoe once. It didn't taste good but it didn't taste bad.

Proffesor McG: Transfiguration: the art of—oh. Puffs.

Hi!

Professor McG: Yes, hello. Um. We're going to turn things. Into other things. Wooow! Go crazy.

Yeah! Woo!

Professor Sprouty: Class! We're going to look at plants!

Yay plants!

Professor Turban: T...T...T...Troll! In the dungeon!

What's a troll?

Cedric: Everyone, quick! Puffs Emergency Formation #4!

We are not a threat. Please, be our friend? We are not a threat. Please, be our friend?

Narrator: Ugh. Meanwhile, in the Puff common room!

We are not a threat. Please, be our friend? We are not a threat. Please, be our friend?

Cedric: Now. I'm off to bed.

Ooo bed

Sally: No. it's olive gardium leviosahh

We're wizards!

Cedric: CAN I HEAR A THIRD PLACE?!

THIRD PLACE!

Wayne: Pure nerve?!

Standing up to friends?!

Puffs: Aww.

Hey. Don't be sad. THis year we learned skills, built friendships, and nobody died except that teacher! What a year! You can't put a number on life! Unless you can, in which case, it's four. Fourth place for us!

Cedric: But hey... we're wizards.

Yeaaaah!

Wayne: He's going to kill everyone!

AHHHHH! WE ARE NOT A THREAT! Please be our friend.

J Finch: I promise... Welp! I'm going to leave now, bye!

Bye!

Sally: Lets all go to bed?

Ooo bed

Wayne: Puff on this... pew pew pew

Oh. I'm... I'm sorry. My fault.

Wayne: No! I was just... Hi. I'm Wayne.

Ginny. My name is Ginny. It's very nice meeting you Wayne.

Wayne: Hey don't forget your diary

Nooo! What will it make me do next?!

Wayne: Hey, if it's so bad why don't you just put it somewhere no one will ever find it? Like a toilet or something?

A toilet? ...Maybe. Thanks, Wayne.

Megan: If you need me, we will be out there being both rebellious and charming. and brave!

Guys! Guys! Guys! Come to my slumber party! It's in the Great Hall! On the floor! It's going to be so much fun. But I warn you: I snore! Want to see?

Wayne: ...Leanne?

Sorry! I was having a dream I was a unicorn, only I didn't have a horn and I was eating hay

Wayne: Ooh, can't. I think

Aw. Everyone is busy.

Puffs: We are not a threat. Please be our friend.

Guys! Guys! THE WHOLE SCHOOL CAME TO MY SLUMBER PARTY! Why is everyone so sad and frightened?!

CEDRIC: Everyone, I've been told to inform you it looks like we'll be spending the whole night here.

Yay!

J. Finch: A cool one?

Yeah.

Narrator: Her name was Helga

Have you seen my cup? It's a nice cup. Oh, badgers.

Rowena: Let's play a game. Who can read all the books? Whoops I won! I am so smart.

Why don't we play a different game? That is, if you are brave enough?

Sal: SSSAAAAaasssssGraaattthaaaaaaaaa. Hey Guys.

We have all this great magical knowledge, why don't we start a school?

Sal: Students who are blonde. Rich. Sassy children.

Students who are... um. Well, oh.

Second headmaster: Attention students. It's time for sleep. Go to sleep. NOW!

Awww but how does it end?

Megan: Or how about I finish it for him now? Helga was so stupid and boring she couldn't come up with anything, so they just gave her all the dumb kids. The puffs. The end.

Worst slumber party ever.

Wayne: I'm coming in

Why are we hugging? Wait. Don't tell me. I'll figure it out.

Megan: Hey everyone, I'm sorry I was mean. You're not stupid.

That's okay. Right? Puff hug!?

Megan: Fine. Puff Hug.

YAY! PUFF HUG!!!

Second Headmaster: Attention students! You're all safe. We think. Don't forget! Tomorrow you have a field trip into town. HAVE FUN!

FIELD TRIP!

Hannah: Hey guys... that Sirius guy. I hear he can turn into a... uh... flowery shrub... it's true.

Ohhhh

Hold still (x2)

Ahhhh (x2)

Puffs: Yeah

Guys?! I don't know how I got here?!

Wayne: Hey! To the puffs, and to getting totally Butterbuzzed!

BUTTERBUZZED!

Megan: Do you even have to ask?

FOURTH PLACE!

Seocnd headmaster: Attention students! Same headmaster here. This year we will be hosting two other wizard schools. One with french people.

Bonjour, je suis tres superieure. Ooo, baguette.

Megan: Whoever it is, we're stuck focusing on them for the entire year. If this school has taught me anything, we're going to be disappointed.

Yeah.

Second Headmaster: Ow! Hot! Fire! ...Mr. Diggory.

AHHHHHHHH! Cedric, Cedric, Cedric!

Second Headmaster: Did you put your name in the little ol' cup over there? Did you? I'm the definition of calm right now.

Aww.

Wayne: Nevermind that. We have a job to do. We have to make sure the right winner wins. Potter's had his turn. Cedric is our champion!

Cedric!!!

Wayne: Great. Let's go make some badges?

Badges!

Real Mr. Moody: All right, class, settle down. SETTLE DOWN! Today's lesson: curses that are... not forgivable. Trust me. Because I am the ordinary. NOT fake. Moody. Got it?

Yes, Real Mr. Moody

Mr. Moody: Now, there's a curse where you control people.

Ooh.

Mr. Moody: There's a curse where you hurt people.

Aah.

Real Mr. Moody: And, there's a curse that kills. We'll call it the Green Light Curse. Because when you use it there's a bright green light. AVADA KEDABRA!

AHHHH!

Real Mr. Moody: Now who wants to see me mess with some spiders? (new scene Cedric enters)

Oooo! Cedric are you ready for the First task?!

Hannah: He fixed these glasses I was holding!

Woooow

Cedric: Getting to compete against three great wizards, and learn all about other wizard cultures? I think I already won.

Awwww.

Cedric: Sure. I'll see you all later.
Hannah and J: Bye Cedric!

You're a wizard, Cedric!

Mr. Bagman: It's time to BEGIN!

CEDRIC CEDRIC HE'S OUR MAN IF HE CAN'T DO IT WE'LL STILL BE HAPPY WE HAD THIS CHANCE! GO CEDRIC!

Mr. Bagman: Need I remind everyone that there is still a dragon. Right there.

AHHH! Yay! AHHHH! Yay!

Narrator: The results of the First Task. Cedric came in a very exciting second place! Frenchy, she came in third.

Dragon, s'endormir. Baguette.

Clumsy Longbottom: Ginny, will you go to the ball with me?

Sure, Neville. Hi Wayne.

Oliver: Just ask the next person you see.
Wayne: Okay

Hiii!

Oliver: Leanne, Wayne here has a question.

A question, what's that?

Wayne: Leanne. has anyone asked you to the ball yet?

Just my imaginary friend, J. Finch Fletchley. But I said no becuase... he's imaginary.

Wayne: Well, would you like to go with me?

Sure! I'll go get readyyyy!

Cedric: Hello, bathtub!

Hello, Cedric.

Cedric: I'm going underwater now, bye!

MERMAIDS STEAL YOUR FRIENDS... MERMAIDS!

Cedric: Thanks, bye bathtub!

Bye, Cedric!

CEDRIC: Hey! Everyone! Let's show them how the Puffs party! Emergency formation #7!

PUFFS! ROLLCALL!

Cedric: Cedric!

Leanne. Leanne! LEANNE. Leanne? Leanne.

Sally: Oh!... No. I thought I saw something. I did not.

I swam in a lake once. But then I got thirsty and almost drowned. Ahh! A lake! (run away)

Narrator: One hour later: the results! Frenchy failed horribly!

Pardon moi.

Narrator: This tied him in first overall with none other than...

CEDRIC! CEDRIC! CEDRIC! CEDRIC!

Narrator: The Third Task was months away, and everyone collectively remembered: Oh yeah, this is a school. Maybe we should all study?

We're at school!

Megan: Come on! It's been hours. How hard is it to get through a maze?

Very hard!

Sally: LOOK IT'S CEDRIC!

AHHHHH! FIRST PLACE! FIRST PLACE!

Wayne: First place!

Wait, wait. Why's he taking a nap?

Suzie: My aunt and I stared at the door waiting. Waiting for the dark lord to arrive. To kill my aunt. To kill me. Death awaits. IT STALKS ME!

(crying) I went to a water park!

Wayne: HEY! STOP HUGGING. "Welcome back, everybody."

Hiii!

Hannah: You mean, we did the spell?! Right?!
Susie, Ernie, Hannah, J: Yeah!

Slumber party!

Sally: Everyone I've got big news!

Tell me!

Sally: Everyone! I've got big news! And it's NOT SAD news.

Oooo!

Sally: You know how I'm always going on about that thing I've always wanted to do? Well I did that thing! And... I still go to this school!

Yay!

Hannah: ... Bullying me?

Yay Hannah!

J Finch: Top five. Booger, spinach, spinch booger, watermelon and number one (miselanous)

Ooo.

Suzie: My aunt. Me. Still alive.
Puffs: Yay!* Good job*

I've had visions, and I'm pretty aure that the dark evil wizard hid parts of soul in objects and a snake. If we all work together and go an adventure we can-

Ernie: Hey - no being too sad.

Forget it?... It's forgotten. And I won't mention it ever again. THANKS FOR THE HELP, WAYNE!

J. Finch: Harry fought him. Again!

Nobody is safe!

Rowena: Students whom are smart?
Sal: (Eleven-year-olds with henchmen)

Students who are... um. Well... I'll take the rest of them. Because as long as they are willing to wrok hard, everybody should have a place here. Sure, their skill levels will be all over the place. But that's okay. There's always time to improve. This is a school, right? Soyes.. being brave, smart, or... snakes, is great. But. Why be one thing when you can be... everything else? Yes? Yes. Now where did my cup get off to? Cup? Cup?!

Megan: That could mean anything...

The Headmaster IS DEAD!!!

J Finch: He's here to start a revolution!

He went camping? / To the Great Hall!