Assertiveness and Listening Skills - Vocabulary Flashcards

Vocabulary flashcards based on the lecture notes about assertiveness (Appendix A) and listening sabotage (Appendix B).

Assertiveness script

A prepared, structured set of statements used to express I statements and requests in a calm, assertive way.

I think

A fact-based statement describing events or experiences without judgments or attacks.

I feel

An I-statement describing your emotions about a situation; starts with I.

I want

The part that states a specific behavioral change you request, not beliefs or attitudes.

You statements

Blaming or accusatory statements that start with you and trigger defensiveness.

One change at a time

Principle of asking for a single, specific behavioral change rather than a laundry list.

Change now

Requests should be about changes that can be implemented immediately.

Be specific and concrete

Requests should be precise with clear expectations, timing, and details.

Describe the new behavior

Explain exactly what behavior you want the other person to do, when and where.

Self-care solution

An optional component that describes what you will do for yourself if your request isn’t met, not a threat.

Self-care example statement

Concrete example of a self-care action you will take if the request is unmet.

Sample integration

A complete example showing how I think, I feel, I want, and self-care fit together.

PROBLEM #1 formatting

Practice format for assertiveness: PROBLEM #1 with fields I think, I feel, I want.

Mind reading

A listening block where you assume others’ feelings or thoughts without asking.

Rehearsing

Planning your next response while others are speaking, causing you to miss what’s being said.

Filtering

Listening only to what you consider important and ignoring the rest.

Judging

Evaluating the speaker instead of trying to understand their perspective.

Daydreaming

Getting lost in memories or fantasies while someone is talking.

Advising

Offering suggestions instead of listening and seeking to understand.

Sparring

Arguing or debating in a way that invalidates the other person.