Sam's guide to the DesMarteau Family

Good luck

Donna DesMarteau *(DAY- MAR-TOW)* aka Momo *(MOM-OH)*

The grandmother and building blocks of the family. Had 7 kids with Greg aka Papa D. Owner of her 50 year old dance studio business (Donnas School of Performing Arts: DSPA). OG baddie.

Fact: an incredible theater personality in her youth, up until her first pregnancy

Greg DesMarteau aka Papa D

Married to Donna. Just recently retired from T-Mobile, he is more techy than most grandpas and is a skilled math baddie.

Fact: the night he and momo met; he was at an event with a date, saw momo, dropped his date home, came back to be with momo

Jean-Paul DesMarteau

KID #1 - Hairdresser baddie, soccer enthusiast

Married to: Tisha

Kids: Esmee, Sebastian, Sylvie

Tisha DesMarteau

Also a hairdresser baddie, used to be a fitness model

Married to: Jean Paul

Kids: Esmee, Sebastian, Sylvie

Andre *(ON-DRÉ)* DesMarteau

KID #2 - super techy baddie, football enthusiast

Married to: Joanna (in photo)

Kids: Remy, Elsa

Joanna DesMarteau

Former dancer baddie, works at City in Motion. Graceful soul, very similar to Mrs. Skowronek

Married to: Andre

Kids: Remy, Elsa (in photo)

Jaenae *(JUH-NAY)* Egersett

KID #3 - dance teacher baddie at DSPA and assistant teacher at Gordon Parks Elementary. Funniest person ever, Alice’s godmother and they have a bond 🤝 . Alice spend most time at Egersett house

Dating (long-term): Aaron

Kids “her girls”: Isla, Estelle

Aaron Blair

90% kid, 10% adult, very funny man. Works with veterans (as he is one himself). Kinda looks like Jesus, baddie.

Dating (long-term): Jaenae

Has 2 bio daughters who we rarely see, other “kids” are: Isla, Estelle, and his dog Brian

Danielle Coates

KID #4 - secretary at AL, former fashion designer, skilled sower baddie and patient mother

Married to: Mathew

Kids: Alice, Hector, Elliot, Louise

Mathew Coates

Married into family a century ago. Interior designer/construction/architect baddie/Patagonia connoisseur. #brit

Married to: Danielle

Kids: Alice, Hector, Elliot, Louise

Marcel DesMarteau

KID #5 - Chef JCCC, independent baddie, spontaneous traveler who’s always cracking jokes

Not in a relationship (but still thriving), and no kids

Genevieve (GG) DesMarteau-Hare

KID #6 - Works at KCUR, journalist baddie. Lives on same street!

Married to: Danon, most recent marriage in the fam

Kids: (biological): Felix, Isadore, (step-kiddo): Atticus

Danon Hare

Harvester employee baddie, huge dude but super sweet.

Married to: Genvieve

Kids: Atti (with a previous wife who we’re all friends with), Felix, Isadore

Francois DesMarteau

KID #7 - Definition of “the cool uncle”, dance teacher at DSPA but also at other places on the side. Only kid to go to school out of Missouri, worked at Tokyo Disney for a hot sec, but he’s back and getting his interior design degree :)

Dating (1 1/2 years): Brock

Brock Maze

Social media personality and dance teacher for a couple studios (including DSPA), has super funky outfits and is super color coordinated. Born on Halloween

Dating (1 1/2 years): Francois

Alice Coates

\#1 Grandkid - Age: 16 - junior

Parents: Danielle + Mathew

“Most likely to be a CEO”

Isla *(EYE LAH)* Egersett

\#2 Grandkid - Age: 15 - freshman

Parents: Jaenae + Scott (divorced)

“Most likely to be addicted to self-tan ”

Esmee DesMarteau

\#3 Grandkid - Age: 14 - 8th grade

Parents: Jean-Paul + Tisha

“Most likely to be a profession music-playlist-maker”

Hector Coates

\#4 Grandkid - Age: 13 - 7th grade

Parents: Danielle + Mathew

“Most likely to disassemble a TV because he was curious”

Atticus (Atti) Hare

\#5 Grandkid - Age: 12 - 6th grade

Parents: Danon + Rita (bio mom) + Genevive (step-mom)

“Most likely be one of those Target models”

Estelle (Stellie) Egersett

\#6 Grandkid - Age: 12 - 6th grade

Parents: Jaenae + Scott (divorced)

“Most likely to sneeze, fart and burp at the same time”

Sebastian (Seb) DesMarteau

\#7 Grandkid - Age: 12 - 6th grade

Parents: Jean-Paul + Tisha

“Most likely to be an online con man/catfish”

Remy DesMarteau

\#8 Grandkid - Age: 12 - 6th grade

Parents: Andre + Joanna

“Most likely to be a Royals superfan if they ever start being good again”

Elliot Coates

\#9 Grandkid - Age: 11 - 6th grade (summer bday)

Parents: Mathew + Danielle

“Most likely to have 5 simultaneous careers and 7 girlfriends”

Elsa DesMarteau

\#10 Grandkid - Age: 10 - 4th grade

Parents: Andre + Joanna

“Most likely to be an alternative-fashion icon”

Louise Coates

\#11 Grandkid - Age: 9 - 4th grade

Parents: Danielle + Mathew

“Most likely to be a pop star with 5,000 pets”

Sylvie DesMarteau

\#12 Grandkid - Age: 8 - 2th grade

Parents: Jean-Paul + Tisha

“Most likely to be a lawyer”

Felix DesMarteau-Hare

\#13 Grandkid - Age: 3

Parents: Genevieve + Danon

“Most likely to become a firefighter”

Isadore (isa) DesMarteau-Hare

\#14 Grandkid - Age: 1

Parents: Genevieve + Danon

“Most likely to win a staring contest”