Chapter 12: Close Relationships: Passion, Intimacy, and Sexuality

pasionate (romantic) love

strong feelings of longing, desire, and excitement toward a special person

phenylethylamine (PEA)

a neurotransmitter that produces strong emotional feelings such as sensations of excitement and euphoria

compassionte (affectionate) love

mutual understanding and caring to make the relationship succeed

passion

an emotional state characterized by high bodily arousal, such as increased heart rate and blood pressure

intimacy

a feeling of closeness, mutual understanding, and mutual concern for each other’s welfare and happiness

commitment

a conscious decision that remains constant

exchange relationships

relationships based on reciprocity and fairness, in which people expect something in return

communal relationships

relationships based on mutual love and concern, without expectation of repayment

attachment theory

a theory that classifies people into four attachment styles (secure, preoccupied, dismissing avoidant, and fearful avoidant) based on two dimensions (anxiety and avoidance)

secure attachment

style of attachment in which people are low on anxiety and low on avoidance; they trust their partners, share their feelings, provide and receive support and comfort, and enjoy their relationships

preoccupied (anxious/ambivalent) attachment

style of attachment in which people are low on avoidance but high on anxiety; they want and enjoy closeness but worry that their relationship partners will abandon them

dismissing avoidant attachment

style of attachment in which people are low on anxiety but high on avoidance; they tend to view partners as unreliable, unavailable, and uncaring

fearful avoidant attachment

style of attachment in which people have both high anxiety and high avoidance; they have low opinions of themselves and keep others from getting close

self-acceptance

regarding yourself as being a reasonably good person as you are

investment model

theory that uses three factors—satisfaction, alternatives, and investments—to explain why people stay with their long-term relationship partners

relationship-enhancing style of attribution

tendency of happy couples to attribute their partner’s good acts to internal factors and bad acts to external factors

distress-maintaining style of attribution

tendency of unhappy couples to attribute their partner’s good acts to external factors and bad acts to internal factors

social constructionist theories

theories asserting that attitudes and behaviors, including sexual desire and sexual behavior, are strongly shaped by culture and socialization

evolutionary theory

theory of sexuality asserting that the sex drive has been shaped by natural selection and that its forms thus tend to be innate

social exchange theory

theory that seeks to understand social behavior by analyzing the costs and benefits of interacting with each other; it assumes that sex is a resource that women have and men want

coolidge effect

the sexually arousing power of a new partner (greater than the appeal of a familiar partner)

erotic plasticity

the degree to which the sex drive can be shaped and altered by social, cultural, and situational forces

extradyadic sex

having sex with someone other than one’s regular relationship partner

social reality

beliefs held in common by several or many people; public awareness

paternity uncertainty

the fact that a man cannot be sure that the children born to his female partner are his

double standard

condemning women more than men for the same sexual behavior (e.g., premarital sex)

reverse double standard

condemning men more than women for the same sexual behavior (e.g., premarital sex)