Chp. 14: Single Parenting, Remarriages, & Blended Families

Characteristics of single-parent families

• typically headed by women

• often economically disadvantaged - less income

• created by divorce, births to unmarried women, or death of a spouse

• many contain 2 cohabiting adults, one is the parent the other is a partner (partner isn’t involved in parenting)

• sometimes single-parent families are transitional (last only for a short time)

• LGBTQ individuals may have children from previous heterosexual relationships, through adoption, or through donors/reproductive technology

Children in single-parent families: struggles

2 primary reasons

• lack of economic resources

• lack of social capital (guidance, attention, social connections enhancing quality of one’s life)

Negative outcomes for children in single-parent families

• behavioral problems

• academic performance issues

• mental and physical health problems

Lonely parents

Attempt to make children function as attachment figures - can be harmful to both parent and child

Successful single parenting

2/3 of divorced single parents found that single parenting grows easier over time

• Acceptance of responsibilities and challenges for single parenthood

• Parenting as first priority

• Consistent, non-punitive parenting (clear rules and structure)

• Emphasis on open communication

• Fostering of individuality supported by family (independence)

• Recognition of need for self-nurturing

• Dedication to rituals and traditions

Remarriage

• divorced individuals very wary of future relationships/marriages YET they actively search for a new mate

• Women - see divorced time as important to develop as individual

• Men - shorter divorced time and reenter marriage to search for emotional and social support marriage provides

• Remarriages are more unstable than first marriages - serial remarriage is becoming more common

• Having children decreases likelihood of remarriage, especially for women (depends on unique contexts)

Characteristics of remarried couples

• Can depend on first marriage and how divorce went

• Display patterns of communication and interaction that differ from 1st marriage

• Increased autonomy in financial and parenting decisions (sometimes - one foot in, one foot out mindset)

• Benefits come from remarriage, but not as much/as many as from 1st marriages

• Remarried people are about as happy/satisfied in 2nd marriages as in 1st marriage

• Lack of norms, rituals, traditions

• 1st marriages stay together because of children

• Additional stressors for remarried couples (balance)

Binuclear families

• Post-divorce family w/ 2 nuclear families, one headed by one parent, one headed by the other

• Subsystems of binuclear families - it’s a lot of relationships to manage

• Blood drives loyalty in blended families - biological parent needs to step up

Subsystems of binuclear families

• former spouse: co-parenting relationships to manage

• remarried couple

• parent-child: can include a step-parent and step-child

• sibling, step-sibling, half-sibling

• parent/step-parent

Unique structural differences compared to first-marriage families

• almost everyone has lost or seriously changed an important relationship

• one biological parent typically lives outside of current family

• relationship between parent and children predates relationship between new partners

• stepparent roles are often ill-defined

• many children are also members of another parent’s household

• children have at least one extra pair of grandparents

Developmental stages of blended families: early stages

• fantasy: new stepparents expect to instantly love and be loved by stepchildren

• immersion: reality sets in (fantasy isn’t happening)

• awareness: each family member must understand that their family has changed

Developmental stages of blended families: middle stages

• mobilization: family members recognize differences and openly resolve conflict

• action: family takes steps in recognizing themselves as a family (e.g., rituals, traditions, routines

Developmental stages of blended families: later stages

• contact: relationship between family members become genuine, establishment of stepparent role

• resolution: family becomes solid and no longer characterized by earlier troubles

Stepparenting: women in blended families

• more difficult for women due to expectations for women as parents and caregivers

• child rearing/caring can be very difficult due to conflict w/ children’s bio mother

• parenting styles may differ, so children might expect the same from their stepparent as their bio parent

Stepparenting: men in blended families

• less likely to have custody and some may feel guilt about not parenting their children

• tend to have more limited and less positive relationships w/ their stepchildren compared to bio children

Children in blended families: higher risks

Behavioral, psychological, and academic problems

• Lack of routines, supervision, etc.

• Adverse outcomes reduced when children feel strong sense of belonging in stepfamilies

Children in blended families: adjustment

Vary by age of the child

• means that care and parenting have to change as child ages

• young children may feel guilty

• preteens seek more independence by pulling away

• teens may resent changes

Conflict in blended families: favoritism

• parent is more likely to favor biological child than stepchild

• avoiding is best

Conflict in blended families: discipline

• can be difficult to manage

• is ok for stepparent to discipline (will child respect their authority? will other parent be upset?)

Conflict in blended families: distribution

• distribution of money, goods, and services can be difficult and unequal

• one-pot solution: all money/resources are pooled

Potential benefits for children

• Additional role models to choose from

• Greater flexibility due to exposure to new ideas, values, and alternative politics

• Stepparents may serve as extra support for concerns

• Children may gain additional siblings

• Children may have additional extended kin (grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc.)

• Economic situations may improve

• Happily married parents, new relationship role models (seeing healthy relationship)

Building strong blended families

• establish traditions for new blended family

• communication is vital (figuring out what works)

• intention relationship development for non-biologically related members

• household needs to change when the children are there or not