HDFS 1610 Mizzou Exam 2

Relational evaluation

We pay attention to whether others seem to value their relationship with us

Relational devaluation

When someone who once had positive regard for us seem to be less interested in spending time with us

Ostracism

exclusion from a group

Suspicious jealousy

When someone experiences jealousy and there is no real threat to the relationship

Reactive jealousy

when people respond to actual threats or events to the relationship

Extradyadic Sex

having sex with someone other than one's regular relationship partner, such as a spouse or boy/girlfriend

Emotional infidelity

building closeness and intimacy, with a rival to the relationship without a sexual relationship

Mate poaching

A common practice in which people try to generate a relationship or sexual encounter with someone they know to be partnered or married.

Deceiver's trust

when frequent liars tend to start believing that others are dishonest

socioemotional selectivity theory

According to this theory, people cast aside unrewarding relationships later in life. They tend to shed interactions that are negative or unfulfilling in favor of those that are warm and positive.

coolidge effect

phenomenon that explains how the novelty of a partner wears off over time, leaving people less sexually interested, but as soon as a new partner is introduced, sex again becomes exciting

triangular love theory

Developed by Sternberg. comprised of three building blocks of love: intimacy, passion and commitment.

enduring vulnerabilities

things that individuals bring into their relationships, as well as the patterns a couple generates prior to getting married

disillusionment

a feeling of disenchantment; finding out that something is not as good as you had expected

emergent distress

issues that arise after a couple is married

direct

One partner tells the other one that the relationship is over

indirect

One partner begins to cut off communication or make it more and more unpleasant to be in the relationship in the hope that the other person will initiate a breakup

other oriented

One partner focuses on preserving the feelings and dignity of the person whom he or she is leaving.

self oriented

One partner breaks off the relationship without consideration for how this method may impact the other party.

fiery foes

Anger and resentment dominate the relationship and, for the most part, preclude ex-partners from communicating about their children.

angry associates

Civility is limited in these relationships, and the ex-partners can barely put their anger aside to deal with one another regarding their children.

cooperative colleagues

The ex-partners are able to communicate in a polite and effective manner about their children, though they may still not feel a great deal of warmth toward each other

perfect pals

Ex-partners continue to share a personal bond characterized by respect and open communication. They are not only effective co-parents but also friends.

dissolved duos

These partners separated and ended all connections to each other, including contacts with children and extended family members

cohabitation effect

the idea that couples who cohabit before marriage are at a greater risk of divorce than couples who do not live together before marrying

selection hypothesis

argues that there are differences between people who cohabit and those who do not, and that those differences, not cohabitation itself, are responsible for the increased incidence of divorce among cohabitors

experience hypothesis

suggests that the experience of cohabitation itself corrodes couples' attitudes toward marriage, causing them to have weaker commitments in marriage

inertia hypothesis

Formed by these two ideas.

Cohabitation increases a couple's constraints against breaking up.

Couples who otherwise would not marry do because the constraints against breaking up are too strong.

self bolstering

can make you feel that you are good competition for anyone else who might come along.

truth bias

tendency not to see someones deception- tend to assume those you love tell the truth

autonomy vs. connection

One type of dialectic. The desire to be independent versus the need and desire for connections and interdependence with others.

openness vs. closedness

One type of dialectic. The necessity of self-disclosure in intimate relationships versus the need to keep some information private.

stability vs. change

One type of dialectic. Our requirement for some level of consistency while also valuing the excitement of change.

integration vs. separation

One type of dialectic. The degree to which a couple wishes to spend time with others (friends and family) and time alone with one another.

maximal inclusion

others seek us out and go out of their way to interact with us

active inclusion

others welcome us but do not seek us out

passive inclusion

others allow us to be included

ambivalence

others do not care whether we are included or not

passive exclusion

others ignore us but do not avoid us

active exclusion

others avoid us, tolerating our presence only when necessary

maximal exclusion

others banish us, send us away or abandon us.

dialectics

Opposing motivations that contradict one another

rebuffs

involve situations in which one person appeals to another for a desired reaction and the other person fails to respond as expected

illegitimate demands

involve requests that seem unjust because they exceed the normal expectations that the partners hold for each other

cumulative annoyances

relatively trivial events that become irritating with repetition

attributional conflict

Fighting over whose explanation is right and whose account is wrong.

social structure hypothesis

Hypothesis that argues that the demand/withdraw pattern results from pervasive differences in the power of men and women in society and marriage

volatile

These type of couples have heated and passionate arguments

validators

These types of couples fight politely. They usually support each other's points and try to find empathy

Avoiders

These types of couples rarely argue. They don't like confrontation

Hostiles

These type of couples fail to maintain the 5 to 1 positive/negative ratio. They withdraw, criticize and are defensive.

5 ways conflict ends

separation, domination, compromise, integrative agreements & structural improvements

principle of lesser interest

Says that in any partnership, the person who has less interest in continuing and maintaining the relationship has more power in that partnership

fate control

One can autocratically determine what outcomes a partner receives, thereby controlling the other's fate.

behavior control

This occurs when, by changing one's own behavior, one encourages a partner to alter his or her actions in a desirable direction, too

reward power

A type of power in which an individual can give something they like or take away something they don't like.

coercive power

Type of power where one can do something to the other they don't like or take away something they do like.

Legitimate power

With this type of power, they recognize your authority to tell them what to do.

referent power

With this type of power, they identify with you, feeling attracted and wanting to remain close.

expert power

A type of power in which an individual has the broad understanding the other desires.

Informational power

Type of power when an individual possesses some specific knowledge their partner desires.

situational couple violence

typically erupts from heated conflicts that get out of hand. It occurs when both partners are angry and is tied to specific arguments, so it is only occasional and is usually mild, being unlikely

to escalate into serious.

intimate terrorism

When one partner uses violence as a tool to control and oppress the other. More likely to be one-sided, to escalate over time, and to involve serious injury to its target.

violent resistance

When a partner forcibly fights back against intimate terrorism. Least common of the three types of couple violence

Men

Which sex is more likely to engage in intimate terrorism?

impelling influences

These influences make it more likely that the partners will experience violent impulses

inhibiting influences

These influences encourage the partners to refrain from acting on those impulses

enduring dynamics

(PAIR project) predict how happy marriages will be

personal phase

1st step. Phase where a partner grows dissatisfied, often feeling frustration and disgruntlement.

dyadic phase

Phase where the unhappy partner reveals his or her discontent. Long periods of negotiation, confrontation, or attempts at accommodation may follow, and common feelings include shock, anger, hurt, and, sometimes, relief.

social phase

Phase that occurs when the end of a relationship is near. partners publicize their distress, explaining their side of the story to family and friends and seeking support and understanding

Grave dressing phase

Phase when the relationship has ended. Mourning decreases, and the partners begin to get over their loss by doing whatever cognitive work is required to put their past partnership behind them. Memories are revised and tidied and an acceptable story for the course of the relationship is created

Resurrection phase

the ex-partners re-enter social life as singles, often telling others that their experiences have changed them and that they're smarter and wiser now.

Four types of postmarital relationships

fiery foes, cooperative colleagues, perfect pals and angry associates

social power

This type of power occurs in intimate relationships and involves the ability to control the behavior of others and to resist their influence on us.

Coercive

which type of power does this represent? "If you don't do what I want, I'll punish you by doing ____"

Expert

Which type of power does this represent? "I know more than you do about this so you will do what I ask of you."

Reward

Which type of power does this represent? "If you do what I want, I will give you ____"

Legitimate

Which type of power does this represent? "I have a reasonable right to tell you what to do and you feel compelled to do it."

Referent

Which type of power does this represent? "You love me so you will do what I ask of you!"

Informational

Which type of power does this represent? "I have information that you need or want so you will do what I ask of you."