"Bunny" - Babes In Arms

You just imagined it.

Oh, Seymour.

What are you doing here? I thought you were getting out the circulars.

I’ve been licking envelopes all morning.

Wouldn’t you think he could afford a sponge …even a small second hand sponge?

We’re never going to make money if you’re always spending it.

We’re never going to make money, period. And the printer wants to know when he’s going to get paid.

Tell him I’ll pay him as soon as you pay me.

I don’t think he can wait that long.

I mean it this time, Bunny. It’s cash or the theatre.

You neede’t broadcast it. Besides, there’s a long distance call for you.

Is it collect?

If it were, we couldn’t afford it…it’s that lady agent, Phyllis Owen. She wants to discuss Jennifer Darling’s clothes for THE DEEP NORTH.

Bunny, why do you let him get away with it? It’s your theatre too.

But not for long.

Val, we can’t drop the show now…after all we’ve put into it.

Anyway can’t you see Bunny’s in trouble?

Don’t mind me. I’d be lonely without it.

Maybe he can destroy something for you.

You’ve got your own troubles.

Then we can pool them. Come on, Bunny, tell us.

It’s this…the Playhouse. Fleming’s going to get all of it

How can he do that?

My dad was a swell producer, but he loved to gamble. Whenever we’d have a hit show, the profits all went to the track or the gaming tables…He’d always lose more than he’d win and he kept getting more and more in debt…so in desperation, he put up half of the Playhouse as security for the money he borrowed from Fleming…Old Fleming was real shrewd in the loan papers. He had a clause that if the loan was not paid back by next year, he would own half the Playhouse…Then Dad died…and well - you know the rest. Fleming’s a rotten producer and about as cornball as…why he’s never had a hit…anyway, that’s why I’m giving him every cent I can make…trying to get the Playhouse back…but time’s running out and…

It’s not fair. Why you do everything for Fleming…all his dirty work…and what does he do for you?

He lets me play a maid in all our productions, and he also lets me be America’s oldest living apprentice.

We’ve got to do it for Bunny’s sake. Whatever money it makes, Bunny’s entitled to it. She got Fleming to let us put it on. She had faith in it. She encouraged us. She…

Now wait a minute. I don’t want you kids breaking your necks for me.

Now we’ve really got something to work for. It’s got to be good, and it will be!

Thanks, kids.

What’s the script, Bunny?

THE DEEP NORTH, written, directed, and acted by Lee Calhoun, and starring the one-time child sweetheart of the silver screen, Jennifer Darling.

What’s it like?

Very southern and very angry.

What are they angry at?

Abraham Lincoln.

Who do you suppose talked Jennifer Darling into doing this?

Phyllis Owen, her agent. She’s made up her mind for her ever since she was Baby Jennie, Metro’s little dividend. As for her Mom and Dad, all they think about is how much money she can make for them.

How come Fleming got the play?

There wasn’t any competition. Even Steve Edwards turned it down and he’s supposed to have the hots for Jennifer.

I wonder what we’re having.

Remember the hash you had yesterday left over from the hamburger you had the day before?

I’ll never forget it.

Well, this is left over from that.

Bunny, take a note. There must be nothin’…nothing that will take people’s attention away from Mr. Calhoun’s dialouge.

I’ll insert a note in the program.

You can use my office in the front of the house.

It’s never been used for that before.

Where’s Mr. Calhoon going?

He’s gone off to think.

Say Val, what part am I going to play in your show?

What experience have you had?

Well, there was that time behind the barn…

What parts have you played?

I’ve played all sorts of parts…I played a maid in “Life With Father”… a maid in “Diamond LIL”…a maid in “Journey’s End” and….

There are only men in “Journey’s End”

We rewrote it.

Do you sing?

I’m a Western Singer.

Get this locomotive off of me.

My, this is attractive. I’m glad I dressed.

Okay, let’s try it again.

Look, I want you to work, but not to kill yourselves. You’ve been building scenery all morning, rehearsing walk-ons for THE DEEP NORTH all afternoon and now this. You ought to be in bed - everyone of you - individually and separately.

Want a coke, Bunny?

He needs it more than I do.

No…no…honest. I was ready for bed anyhow. And now that you’re here…I mean…

Come on kids, I’ll treat you all to a beer - with twelve straws.

Precisely, dear lady.

Remember a bad dress rehearsal means a good opening night.

How does he think up those things?

Ah am sorry.

Ah am sorry ah ever came up North.

Couldn’t we produce this instead? It’s got more action.

Exactly, dear lady.

The show must go on…Bunny, take a note.

I got it.

“The show must go on.”

That is the first good suggestion ah have heard since ah arrived.

Nevertheless, the last week is booked.

He was whistling your tune…when he should be working for me.

That doesn’t make sense…even from you.

Take a note, Bunny. We play THE DEEP NORTH a second week.

Oh, no we don’t. Besides, we’ve already announced it and it’s all on the house boards.

Have you the money to back that up?

Well, then. There’s nothing more to discuss.

I guess you’re right. You win, Seymour.

Hold it! Nobody’s quitting. Even if we wanted to, we’ve got to think about Bunny. We’ve got to help her.

Wait a minute. I can’t let you get into trouble for my sake.

You want your theatre, don’t you?

Yes, only…

Do you want it enough to fight for it?

Yes, only…

Okay then. We’ll cheat and gouge. We’ll punch in the clinches. We’ll hit below the belt. We’ll show Fleming what clean, healthy, American girls and boys are made of. We’ll fight.

And we’ll fight foul.

You mustn’t tell a soul.

Scout’s honor.

Well, Jennifer has promised to fix it so that the show can go on. She’s going to get sick and…

Oh, Phyllis Owen’s here.

Quit interrupting.

Tell us about Jen…

Oh, here is Phyllis Owen.

I suppose you’ve been pestering her again about that silly show.

Which silly show? Yours or ours?

I was not addressing you.

Have you or have you not seen my Jennifer?

Is there a choice?

But we told you she went thataway.

Yeah, -thataway.

If you can’t behave like ladies and gentlemen…

You certainly are old enough to know better.

Know what better?

You know gang, before she was a flesh peddler, she used to be an actress. They should have cast her as the Bride of Frankenstein. Come on ladies, back to work.

Leave her alone. I don’t mind not being called her kind of lady. In fact, I like it.

Uh, oh. We’re in trouble.

Why, what’s going on?

Gus locked Mr. Calhoun in the janitors closet, but…but I just saw him talking to Mr. Fleming.

It's about time he’s come out of the closet.

Who told you that?

Guess!

representative and this…this…

Boll weevil.

Nevertheless, I promised Phyllis I’d meet him. And the rest of you think of something to do. Like work.

Cheer up kids. Remember, every cloud has a silver lining…except for this one.

You said that?

Well, is the show on or off?

HA!

We better get him out of here.

How would you like a nice drink?

NO!

Of coffee.

Come along, lover.

Don’t worry. I once played the maid in THE DRUNKARD.

Well, Emmy Forester. I have found you at last…Emmy Forester.

Ze tea…she is served.

Not now.

Oh. I’m sorry.

Well, Jerry Jarvis, you have crossed my path again way up here in Greenwich Village, Jerry Jarvis.

Ze tea…she is served.

Not now. That’s in the next act.

That’s all right. I’ve got to go anyhow.

Get the kids. Get the kids.

Oh, I can’t stand all this excitement.

Everyone just about ready for the next number? We have 5 minutes.

Everything’s OK.

Are you feeling better?

Bunny, how is he?

He’ll live…here, you walk him for a while.

I can take care of myself.

Ha!

End JOHNNY ONE NOTE

Look everybody…Steve Edwards has taken an option on the show. We’re going to Broadway!