All My Sons: Keller lines

All of Joe Keller's lines from Arthur Miller's "All My Sons".

Where’s your tobacco?

I think I left it on the table. Gonna rain tonight.

Paper says so?

Yeah, right here.

Hya.

Hello, Frank. What’s doin’?

Nothin’. Walking off my breakfast. That beautiful? Not a cloud.

Yeah, nice.

Every Sunday ought to be like this.

Want the paper?

What’s the difference, it’s all bad news. What’s today’s calamity?

I don’t know. I don’t read the news part any more. It’s more interesting in the want ads.

Why, you trying to buy something?

No, I’m just interested. To see what people want, y’know? For instance, here’s a guy is lookin’ for two Newfoundland dogs. Now what’s he want with two Newfoundland dogs?

That is funny.

Here’s another one. “Wanted—Old Dictionaries. High prices paid.” Now what’s a man going to do with an old dictionary?

Why not? Probably a book collector.

You mean he’ll make a living out of that?

Sure, there’s a lot of them.

All the kind of business goin’ on. In my day, either you were a lawyer, or a doctor, or you worked in a shop. Now…

Well, I was going to be a forester once.

Well, that shows you; in my day, there was no such thing. You look at a page like this you realize how ignorant you are. Psss!

Hey, what happened to your tree?

Ain’t that awful? The wind must’ve got it last night. You heard the wind, didn’t you?

Yeah, I got a mess in my yard, too. What a pity. What’d Kate say?

They’re all asleep yet. I’m just waiting for her to see it.

You know?—It’s funny.

What?

Larry was born in August. He’d been twenty-seven this month. And his tree blows down.

I’m surprised you remember his birthday, Frank. That’s nice.

Well, I’m working on his horoscope.

How can you make him a horoscope? That’s for the future, ain’t it?

Well, what I’m doing is this, see. Larry was reported missing on November 25th, right?

Yeah?

Well, then, we assume that if he was killed it was on November 25th. Now, what Kate wants…

Oh, Kate asked you to make a horoscope?

Yeah, what she wants to find out is whether November 25th was a favorable day for Larry.

What is that, favorable day?

Well, a favorable day for a person is a fortunate day, according to his stars. In other words it would be practically impossible for him to have died on his favorable day.

Well, was that his favorable day?—November 25th?

That’s what I’m working on to find out. It takes time! See, the point is, if November 25th was his favorable day, then it’s completely possible he’s alive somewhere, because…I mean it’s possible. I didn’t even see you.

Is he talkin’ sense?

No.

Imagine? He walked off with his thermometer. Right out of his bag.

Why, I saw a movie a couple of weeks ago, reminded me of you. There was a doctor in that picture…

Don Ameche!

I would love to help humanity on a Warner Brothers salary.

That’s very good, Jim.

Annie came?

Sure, sleepin’ upstairs. We picked her up on the one o’clock train last night, Wonderful thing. Girl leaves here, a scrawny kid. Couple of years go by, she’s a regular woman. Hardly recognized her, and she was running in and out of this yard all her life. That was a very happy family used to live in your house, Jim.

If your son wants to play golf tell him I’m ready. Or if he’d like to take a trip around the world for about thirty years.

Why do you needle him? He’s a doctor, women are supposed to call him up.

All I said was Mrs. Adams is on the phone. Can I have some of your parsley?

Yeah, sure.

Frank, the toaster… Hya.

Hello!

He’s really very handy. Oh, did the wind get your tree?

Yeah, last night.

Oh, what a pity. Annie get in?

She’ll be down soon. Wait’ll you meet her, Sue, she’s a knockout.

Is she still unhappy, Joe?

Annie? I don’t suppose she goes around dancing on her toes, but she seems to be over it.

She going to get married? Is there anybody…?

I suppose…say, it’s a couple years already. She can’t mourn a boy forever.

It’s so strange…Annie’s here and not even married. And I’ve got three babies. I always thought it’d be the other way around.

Well, that’s what a war does. I had two sons, now I got one. It changed all the tallies. In my day when you had sons it was an honor. Today a doctor could make a million dollars if he could figure out a way to bring a boy into the world without a trigger finger.

I’ll never hear the end of this one.

So what’s the difference? Instead of toast have a malted!

Sh! sh!

You want the paper?

That’s all right, just the book section.

You’re always reading the book section and you never buy a book.

I like to keep abreast of my ignorance.

What is that, every week a new book comes out?

Lot of new books.

All different.

All different.

Psss! Annie up yet?

Mother’s giving her breakfast in the dining room.

See what happened to the tree?

Yeah.

What’s Mother going to say?

You’re finally up.

Ha! Bert’s here! Where’s Tommy? He’s got his father’s thermometer again.

But it’s only oral.

Oh, well, there’s no harm in oral. So what’s new this morning, Bert?

Nothin’.

Then you couldn’t have made a complete inspection of the block. In the beginning, when I first made you a policeman, you used to come in every morning with something new. Now, nothin’s ever new.

Except some kids from Thirtieth Street. They started kicking a can down the block, and I made them go away because you were sleeping.

Now you’re talkin’, Bert. Now you’re on the ball. First thing you know I’m liable to make you a detective.

Can I see the jail now?

Seein’ the jail ain’t allowed, Bert. You know that.

Aw, I betcha there isn’t even a jail. I don’t see any bars on the cellar windows.

Bert, on my word of honor, there’s a jail in the basement. I showed you my gun, didn’t I?

But that’s a hunting gun.

That’s an arresting gun!

Then why don’t you ever arrest anybody? Tommy said another dirty word to Dories yesterday, and you didn’t even demote him.

Yeah, that’s a dangerous character, that Tommy. What word does he say?

Oh, I can’t say that.

Well, gimme an idea.

I can’t. It’s not a nice word.

Just whisper it in my ear. I’ll close my eyes. Maybe I won’t even hear it.

Don’t make him do that.

Okay, Bert. I take your word. Now go out, and keep both eyes peeled.

For what?

For what! Bert, the whole neighborhood is depending on you. A policeman don’t ask questions. Now peel them eyes!

Okay.

And mum’s the word, Bert.

About what?

Just in general. Be v-e-r-y careful.

Okay.

I got all the kids crazy!

One of these days, they’ll all come in here and beat your brains out.

What’s she going to say? Maybe we ought to tell her before she sees it.

She saw it.

How could she see it? I was the first one up. She was still in bed.

She was out here when it broke.

When?

About four this morning. I heard it cracking and I woke up and looked out. She was standing right here when it cracked.

What was she doing out here four in the morning?

I don’t know. When it cracked she ran back into the house and cried in the kitchen.

Did you talk to her?

No, I…I figured the best thing was to leave her alone.

She cried hard?

I could hear her right through the floor of my room.

What was she doing out here at that hour? She’s dreaming about him again. She’s walking around at night.

I guess she is.

She’s getting just like after he died. What’s the meaning of that?

I don’t know the meaning of it. But I know one thing, Dad. We’ve made a terrible mistake with Mother.

What?

Being dishonest with her. That kind of thing always pays off, and now it’s paying off.

What do you mean, dishonest?

You know Larry’s not coming back and I know it. Why do we allow her to go on thinking that we believe with her?

What do you want to do, argue with her?

I don’t want to argue with her, but it’s time she realized that nobody believes Larry is alive anymore. Why shouldn’t she dream of him, walk the nights waiting for him? Do we contradict her? Do we say straight out that we have no hope anymore? That we haven’t had any hope for years now?

You can’t say that to her.

We’ve got to say it to her.

How’re you going to prove it? Can you prove it?

For God’s sake, three years! Nobody comes back after three years. It’s insane.

To you it is, and to me. But not to her. You can talk yourself blue in the face, but there’s no body and there’s no grave, so where are you?

Sit down, Dad. I want to talk to you.

The trouble is the damn newspapers. Every month some boy turns up from nowhere, so the next one is going to be Larry, so…

All right, all right, listen to me. You know why I asked Annie here, don’t you?

Why?

You know.

Well, I got an idea, but… What’s the story?

I’m going to ask her to marry me.

Well, that’s only your business, Chris.

You know it’s not only my business.

What do you want me to do? You’re old enough to know your own mind.

Then it’s all right, I’ll go ahead with it?

Well, you want to be sure Mother isn't going to...

Then it isn't just my business.

I'm just sayin'...

Sometimes you infuriate me, you know that? Isn't it your business, too, if I tell this to Mother and she throws a fit about it? You have such a talent for ignoring things.

I ignore what I gotta ignore. The girl is Larry’s girl…

She’s not Larry’s girl.

From Mother's point of view he is not dead and you have no right to take his girl. Now you can go on from there if you know where to go, but I'm tellin' you I don't know where to go. See? I don't know. Now what can I do for you?

I don't know why it is, but every time I reach out for something I want, I have to pull back because other people will suffer. My whole bloody life, time after time after time.

You’re a considerate fella, there’s nothing wrong in that.

To hell with that.

Did you ask Annie yet?

I wanted to get this settled first.

How do you know she’ll marry you? Maybe she feels the same way Mother does?

Well, if she does, then that's the end of it. From her letters I think she's forgotten him. I'll find out. And then we'll thrash it out with Mother? Right? Dad, don't avoid me.

The trouble is, you don’t see enough women. You never did.

So what? I’m not fast with women.

I don’t see why it has to be Annie…

Because it is.

That’s a good answer, but it don’t answer anything. You haven’t seen her since you went to war. It’s five years.

I can't help it. I know her best. I was brought up next door to her. These years when I think of someone for my wife, I think of Annie. What do you want, a diagram?

I don't want a diagram... I... I'm... She thinks he's coming back, Chris. You marry that girl and you're pronouncing him dead. Now what's going to happen to Mother? Do you know? I don't!

All right, then, Dad.

Give it some more thought.

I've given it three years of thought. I'd hoped that if I waited, Mother would forget Larry and then we'd have a regular wedding and everything happy. But if that can't happen here, then I'll have to get out.

What the hell is this?

I’ll get out. I’ll get married and live some place else. Maybe in New York.

Are you crazy?

I’ve been a good son too long, a good sucked. I’m through with it.

You’ve got a business here, what the hell is this?

The business! The business doesn’t inspire me.

Must you be inspired?

Yes, I like it an hour a day. If I have to grub for money all day long at least at evening I want it beautiful. I want a family, I want some kids, I want to build something I can give myself to. Annie is in the middle of that. Now...where do I find it?

You mean… Tell me something, you mean you’d leave the business?

Yes. On this I would.

Well…you don’t want to think like that.

Then help me stay here.

All right, but...but don't think like that. Because what the hell did I work for? That's only for you, Chris, the whole shootin'-match is for you!

I know that, Dad. Just you help me stay here.

But don’t think that way, you hear me?

I am thinking that way.

I don’t understand you, do I?

No, you don’t. I’m a pretty tough guy.

Yeah. I can see that.

Did you take a bag from under the sink?

Yeah, I put it in the pail.

Well, get it out of the pail. That’s my potatoes.

I thought it was garbage.

Will you do me a favor, Joe? Don’t be helpful.

I can afford another bag of potatoes.