Interpersonal Relationships Midterm- Dr. Sleeth

1. Our relationship to others will to a large extent determine our success or failure in God's service.

2. Our relationship with God must be right before our relationships with others will be right.

3. Our relationship with others must be right before our relationship with God will be right.

Foundational Principles

1. Others

2. God

3. Family

4. Work

5. Authority

5 areas of interpersonal relationships

God's will

A daily walk with God - we need to focus more on a daily relationship with God instead of day to day decisions

1. God's call

2. God's providence

3. God's enabling

God's will includes these 3

Purity

Brotherly love

A Christian work ethic

Honesty

A biblical worldview

Ingredients of God's will

1. It gives confidents

2. It determines your course (direction or purpose)

3. t brings contentment

Benefits of knowing God's call

1. God's timing is rarely our timing

2. The enemy of the best decision is the good decision

3. Presuming upon God

4. Success is not necessarily an indication of God's blessing

Cautions in recognizing God's call

1. God's word

2. Prayer

3. Holy Spirit

4. Counsel

5. Circumstances

5 ways to discern God's call

1. Surrender

2. Trust

3. Obedience

4. Desire

5. Focus

Requirements for discerning God's call

1. God is a God of design

2. He designed man differently from the rest of creation.

The Biblical Model

Not a natural human ability

Not a place or position

Not the same as spiritual fruit

What spiritual gifts are not

significant

Definition of Spiritual gifts

• A God given capacity to have a spiritually ________ influence upon another person

1. We all have at least one spiritual gift

2. Gifts are given by God at salvation

3. Gifts are distributed by the sovereign choice of God

4. The purpose of the gifts is service

Understanding Spiritual Gifts

Sign gifts

gifts that were used in the early church to authenticate the messengers and message of the still being revealed word of God

Serving gifts

gifts that were given to believers for serving others

Serving

A keen ability to discern a need coupled with the drive to fulfil that need

Teaching

The ability to tell Biblical truth in an understandable way

giving

giving of ones own possessions

Exhortation

ability to encourage, comfort, and admonish people

Administration

the ability to organize and direct activity in the body of Christ

Mercy

having an unusual compassion and sensitivity and the ability to recognize the needs of others

Faith

the ability to believe God for the miraculous providing for needs

Evangelism

the ability to proclaim the Gospel message with exceptional clarity, accompanied by an obvious boldness and intense burden to see others saved

Pastoring

The ability to Shepard and provide for and care for God's people

1. Prayerfully ask God to help you know your gift

2. Study the available information from scripture

3. Exam your past service for spiritual results

4. Get input from spiritual leaders/mature Christians

5. Ask yourself what you enjoy most about ministries you participate in.

6. Test your gifts

Recognizing your Gift

Authority

It is the right (Mathew 8:9), power (mk. 1:27; I Cor. 7:37) and responsibility (II Cor. 10:8; 13:10) to give directions to another.

1. Government

2. Church

3. The home

Authority ordained by God

Biblical leadership

taking the initiative to meet the needs of others with a servants heart

Submission

Placing yourself under the watch care and leadership of another (Eph. 5:21-22)

Blind obedience

Service

Humbly acknowledging the authority of another

Submission is not

Delegated Authority

authority we choose to place ourselves under, both saved and unsaved people have delegated authority.

Friendship of convenience

Friendship of mutual activity

Third party friendships

Milestone friendships

Types of Friendship

1. Reciprocal Acceptance (Prov. 17:17)

2. Reciprocal Disclosure (Prov. 27:9)

3. Reciprocal Commitment (Prov. 27:17)

Three Ingredients of a Successful Friendship

Subordinate relationship

responsibility over a person, and accountability from them

Sending

getting the correct message out

1. 10% words

2. 35% tone of voice

3. 55% body language

Study on communication

Receiving

hearing the correct message

Attending (Physical)

paying attention, ways a person follows a conversation physically

1. Adopt a posture that indicates involvement- turning to look at others

2. Adopt an open posture

3. Lean

4. Eye contact

5. Relax

Ways of attending

Listening (Mental)

The ability to capture and understand a message whether it is being given verbally or non verbally.

1. Distracted listening

2. Filtered listening- using a stereotype or process to understand information

3. Rehearsing- thinking more about how we will respond than listening

4. Interrupting- give a second after someone stops talking to make sure they are finished.

Ways of listening

1. When you are asked to do wrong

2. When authority is doing or is about to do wrong

3. When you are in disagreement with authority

The Potential of the Appeal

1. Right standing

2. Right Timing

3. Right wording

The prerequisites to the Appeal

Plan ahead

Prepare your heart

Present your request

Proceed based on the answer

The procedure of the Appeal

1. Cliche

2. Facts

3. Opinions

4. Feelings

5. Needs

Five levels of Communication goal

Cliché- the polite conversation

Facts

Opinion

Feelings

Needs

The five levels of communication

choosing to understand the needs of another and expend whatever resources necessary to meet those needs

Love defined