Circle Mirror Transformation - Theresa Lines (me lol)

PROLOGUE: Lights up. Marty, James, Theresa, and Shultz are all lying on the floor, in various positions. After at least 15 seconds of silence:

One.

JAMES: Six.

Seven.

JAMES: One.

Two.

MARTY: How’d that feel?

Great.

MARTY: I

Took

MARTY: It

Was

MARTY: Love

…Truth!

MARTY: Were

Part

MARTY: Mess!

And

MARTY: Feel

Fantastic!

MARTY: Are

Feeding

MARTY: …Blue

Birds

MARTY: Green

Wondrous

MARTY: My

Little

SCHULTZ: How long did she say?

Sorry. What?

SCHULTZ: How long did she… Ah… How long is the break?

I think she said ten minutes?

SCHULTZ: I’m sorry. You have… Sorry. Do you / ah —

What?

SCHULTZ: I just ah… I was going to say that you have very… very alive eyes.

Oh. Wow. I —

SCHULTZ: But that sounds / kind of —

No! Thank you.

SCHULTZ: I don’t mean it in a, uh… in a weird way.

No. It’s a — it’s a compliment.

SCHULTZ: What’s your deal?

Oh God. I / um —

SCHULTZ: I just mean… I haven’t seen you around. It’s a small town, / so —

I moved here like five months ago.

SCHULTZ: All right.

Do you live near here? Or do / you —

SCHULTZ: I live in the Brook.

I’m… what? Sorry. / The —

SCHULTZ: They’re condos. The Brook. It’s on Hitchcock? Right off 7. Across from / the —

Oh yeah. I know where that is. So do you live there alone or do / you —

SCHULTZ: I live there alone. My wife and I recently… we’re divorced. That’s why I live in the, uh… I moved out about a year ago.

Oh. Okay.

SCHULTZ: She lives in our house. It’s a great house. With a… I spent years working on the garden.

Huh.

SCHULTZ: The Brook is… it’s very corporate. Very corporate-feeling.

I was just confused because you um… you’re still wearing your wedding ring.

SCHULTZ: Yes. Yes I am. I should probably take it off.

Yeah. I don’t know. What’s the rush, I guess.

SCHULTZ: So you’re a… you like to hula hoop!

Um. The correct term is actually “hooping.”

SCHULTZ: Oh god. I’m sorry.

No, no. It’s a common, um… but “hula hooping” is, actually, um… it’s a misnaming.

SCHULTZ: Ah. It’s big.

The big ones are actually easier to use. Wanna see?

MARTY: We’re about to start. Whenever Lauren gets back.

It’ll take about two seconds.

SCHULTZ: Wow.

The key is actually less movement.

SCHULTZ: Uh-huh.

As opposed to more movement.

SCHULTZ: Jesus.

Try it.

SCHULTZ: Oh. No. I can’t. / I ah —

It’s actually really easy. Schultz.

JAMES: I’ll try it.

Yeah James!

JAMES: What do I do?

Okay. Just um… put one foot forward.

JAMES: Uh-huh.

Now just… try it. Don’t think too much.

JAMES: Ah.

Try again. It’s just a little motion. Like a little… spin. Good! Oh my god! That’s awesome!

MARTY: And I said: I’m Marty. And he said… I couldn’t believe the… without any kind of… he just said, with total… “Wanna go camping with me tomorrow? I’m driving to Arcata.” I couldn’t believe the nerve of this guy! And I had all these obligations back in… But I found myself saying… I just said: “Sure. Why not.”

That is really cute.

MARTY: Okay. Who else has a story? And don’t forget to really listen, you guys. We’re gonna have to remember these.

I’ll go.

MARTY: Perfect.

Okay. Well. This one time when I was still living in New York? I was on the… there was this old Jewish guy in my subway car. I knew he was Jewish, because… well, he was stereotypically Jewish. I mean, not all Jews look this way, obviously, but he had this humongous nose and this long like white beard with these big glasses and he had this accent like an old Jewish Yiddish-y Brooklyn accent and these… um… suspenders kind of like pants. Anyway. The point is he was very clearly Jewish and he was sitting there talking to these old black guys. Who seemed kind of crazy. They all seemed crazy. But he was holding these pamphlets and he was yelling at them, not angry, just kind of yelling all this stuff and they were nodding and saying like, “Totally, man” or like, “You’re so right” and I started listening and he was talking about this Jewish conspiracy and he used the phrase “Jew S.A.” And then he was like: “Do you think the World Trade Towers came down by themselves?” And then he was talking about how, you know, the Jews killed Christ, and then… ah… what else. Oh. Something about World War II. How that happened because the Jews were running Wall Street and Wall Street paid for Germany or something? I guess that’s it.

MARTY: What made you think of that story?

Um. I don’t know. I think about it when… you know. The issue of self-hate or whatever.

MARTY: That man may not have been Jewish.

Oh. Um. I’m pretty sure he was.

SCHULTZ: You’re it.

SCENE III: Breaktime. Marty and Theresa are squatting by their bags in the corner, talking quietly. Schultz is lurking in the other corner, drinking from his water bottle.

It’s natural.

MARTY: It is?

Weird, right?

MARTY: Well. It’s beautiful.

Thanks.

MARTY: Have you… I just… I saw them in CVS the other day, and I… have you seen these things?

Wait, what are you talking about?

MARTY: These um… they’re like these little packets of dye, but they’re… They’re for… it’s for pubic hair.

Oh my god.

MARTY: They were in their own little section, and I was: I said: Oh. My. God. and I called James over and he said: what’s the big deal?

Well. Of / course. He —

MARTY: And I was in a huff about it, I was in this big huff, and then I thought…

Can you hear us, Schultz?

SCHULTZ: What? No. I have to check my uh… my phone messages.

So you were really angry —

MARTY: I was in this big huff about it, but then I… oh god. You probably don’t have to worry about this. You’re too young. But my um… that hair is half-gray now and it drives me crazy… and I / thought —

Did you buy it?

MARTY: I’m thinking about it.

Oh my god. Awesome.

MARTY: But then James will… I know he’s going to accuse me of being a hypocrite.

I bet he’ll like it.

MARTY: Theresa.

I bet he will.

MARTY: I have to pee.

Hey.

SCHULTZ: Hi.

How was your week?

SCHULTZ: It was okay. How was your week?

It was good. I bought a plant!

SCHULTZ: Oh yeah? What kind?

Um… I don’t know. The tag says that it’s a “money plant”? Like if you put it under — if you put it under the window you’ll make a lot of money or something.

SCHULTZ: Wow.

Who called you?

SCHULTZ: My friend.

Oh. So what do you think?

SCHULTZ: I ah…?

About the class.

SCHULTZ: Huh. Well… Uh… I like it. I don’t feel… I guess I’m having a little trouble feeling totally comfortable?

Yeah.

SCHULTZ: I feel pretty self conscious.

You’ll get the hang of it.

SCHULTZ: You seem so… you’re so good at everything.

Well. I’m / actually —

SCHULTZ: You do everything in such a… you’re so graceful.

Oh god. That’s… Schultz.

SCHULTZ: What.

Do you maybe wanna get a cup of coffee after class? Or um… I’m sorry. Did I do something wrong?

SCHULTZ: No. I mean yes. Didn’t I say yes?

You didn’t say anything.

MARTY: Don’t be afraid to physically take hold of people and guide them. That’s the point. Okay. All right. Um… let's see. You are… you’re… you’re a very condescending… You were always kind of quietly Looking Down on everyone. So maybe… And so… You always have this certain… You have a condescending sort of… Perfect. Okay. Stay that way. Now. Theresa. I want you to be my mother.

Awesome.

MARTY: Two.

Three. Four.

SCHULTZ: Will you be the tree?

Of course. What kind of tree?

SCHULTZ: Ah… maple.

Am I large or small?

SCENE III: Breaktime. Theresa is sitting by herself, sitting by her bag, listening to her messages. Schultz enters. He walks over to her, touches her hair, then kneels down and tries to kiss her.

Hold. I have to finish listening to my — Schultz. Hold on a second.

SCHULTZ: They’re feeding out the meter.

What about Lauren?

SCHULTZ: I thought about you this morning. In the shower.

… Oh god. Okay. We have to stop.

SCHULTZ: We have three more minutes.

Schultz.

SCHULTZ: Come into the bathroom with me.

I think that’s probably a bad / id —

JAMES: Ak Mak. (Hello.)

Goulash (Hello)

JAMES: Ak Mak?

Ah… goulash. Goulash.

MARTY: Stay in it.

Goulash… goulash goulash goulash. (I have something to tell you)

JAMES: Ak Mak. (What is it?)

Goulash, goulash, goulash goulash goulash. (Sometimes at night, I feel incredibly lonely)

JAMES: Ak mak, Ak mak. (I don’t understand what you’re saying.)

Goulash goulash goulash goulash, goulash goulash goulash goulash, goulash goulash goulash goulash. (I lie in bed staring at the ceiling, and I think about couples and family, like you and Marty)

JAMES: Ak mak, ak mak ak mak ak mak. (You are very beautiful)

Goulash? (Are you sad too?)

JAMES: Ak mak. (I am attracted to you)

Goulash goulash goulash. Goulash. (You’re sad, too. I knew it.)

JAMES: Ak mak ak mak ak mak ak mak. (I feel really guilty when I think about how attracted I am to you.)

Goulash Goulash. (I feel like you understand me)

SCHULTZ: But I thought that… it felt like James understood her.

I’m sorry. Excuse me.

SCENE V: The group stands in a circle. Theresa starts swinging her arms back and forth and making a corresponding sound.

WOOP. WOOP. WOOP. WOOP.

WEEK FOUR I: Schultz enters the room in darkness. He is the first one there. He switches on the lights. He puts his backpack down, drinks some water, gives himself a long look in the mirror, and then starts doing knee bends and touching his toes. Theresa enters, carrying her hula hoop. She starts a little when she sees Schultz.

Hey.

SCHULTZ: Hey.

I’m sorry I didn’t / call you last —

SCHULTZ: You don’t need to apologize.

I know I don’t. But I’m sorry I didn’t call you back.

SCHULTZ: Twice.

What?

SCHULTZ: You didn’t call me back twice.

…I’m sorry. You seem angry.

SCHULTZ: Um… I think I’m… I think I’m a little disappointed. In you. But. Uh. I’m not angry.

Well you shouldn’t be disappointed in me. Because I’ve made it… I’ve made it really, really clear that I / can’t —

SCHULTZ: Yes. Thank you. Okay.

Schultz.

SCHULTZ: It’s just… it’s funny. The not-calling. Because a week and a half ago you were calling me every day.

Yeah.

SCHULTZ: So.. it’s just… I’m at a really vulnerable place in my life right / now, and —

So am I!

SCHULTZ: — And the, uh, I really don’t need someone who — someone who’s going to be inconsistent?

I’m sorry. I won’t be… I won’t be inconsistent anymore. I think we… I think the best thing might be for… maybe we should take a break from seeing each other. Outside of… and then I won’t have to —