Personal & Professional Efficiency Units 3 and 4

Syntony

Deep attention, where we are fully present with another person. Goes beyond basic empathy and creates an emotional connection called rapport.

Paul Ekman

An expert on facial emotions, developed a method to train people to read microexpressions.

Microexpressions

Tiny, rapid facial signals that reveal real emotions. They appear in less than a third of a second, faster than a finger snap. They can reveal hidden emotions even when someone tries to hide them.

Mirror Neurons

Mirror neurons are a special class of neurons that fire both when an individual performs an action and when they observe the same action performed by another.

• First discovered in 1992 by Giacomo Rizzolatti and colleagues in monkeys.

• Later confirmed in humans using fMRI (Functional Magnetic Resonance

Imaging) and single-neuron recording.

Memes and Emotional Transmission

Cultural transmission, ideas, behaviors, or styles that spread from person to person (Richard Dawkins). Emotions, gestures, and moods are contagious and behaves like memes. Spread through mirror neurons, facial expressions and pace in interraction.

Richard Dawkins

Introduced the concept of memes in 1976. Proposed that ideas, behaviors, and emotional signals are culturally transmitted, not biologically inherited.

Carl Marci

Conducted pioneering research on physiological synchrony during therapy sessions. Emotional synchrony can be objectively measured and correlates with the feeling of rapport between individuals.

Rapport (meaning)

Mutual emotional connection characterized by shared attention, positive emotional tone and nonverbal synchronization.

Rapport (importance)

• Strengthens interpersonal bonds.

• Enhances creativity and collaboration in decisions (personal and professional).

• Fosters empathy, trust and authenticity

Dual Channel of Communication

Upper channel: Rational communication (words, meanings…)

Lower channel: Subverbal (emotions, facial expressions, gestures…)

Protoconversation

Earliest form of human communication (between a caregiver and a child). Prototype for all human interaction.

Oscillators

Neural systems that regulate rhythmic coordination.
• They allow humans to synchronize movements, emotions, and social behaviors effortlessly.

John Bowlby – Attachment Theory

Secure emotional bonds influence our ability to form healthy relationships throughout life.

Bowlby emphasized the importance of a "secure base", which is the emotional foundation that allows a child to explore the world while knowing they can return to safety.

4 Attachment Styles

Secure (trusting, emotionally open, good social skills…)

Anxious (clingy, fear of abandonnement, emotional dependence)

Avoidant (dismissive, avoids intimacy, struggles to connect emotionally)

Disorganized (fearful, unpredictable)

Co-Regulation

The process of mutual emotional regulation (adult helping a child returning to emotional balance)

Martin Buber – “I–It” vs. “I–Thou”

“I–It”: Treating others as objects or tools.

“I–Thou”: Deep, present, human-to-human relationship with empathy and dignity

Matthew Lieberman and Naomi Einsenberger

Discovered that social rejection activates the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), the same brain area that processes physical pain

Empathy vs. Projection

• Empathy: tuning into another’s reality and adjusting to it.

• Projection: attributing your own emotions, needs, or assumptions to someone else

Crucial conversation

Type of dialogue that is especially important because it can significantly affect our relationships, decisions and results. It meets three specific conditions:

1. Opposing opinions

2. High stakes

3. Strong emotions

The Fools Choice

“speak up and offend” vs. stay quiet and keep peace”. This mindset is what separates highly effective communicators from others.

Shared pool of meaning

The combined knowlegde, feelings, and experiences of all participants. When people dont share mistakes occur.

2 Common communication failures

Silence (avoiding, withdrawling, hiding the truth) and Violence (forcing your opinion, controlling, attacking…)

Power of self redirection

Staying calm under pressure to keep conversation constructive. Prevents escalation, protects relationships, and keeps goals in focus.

Two levels of communication

Content- what you are talking about

Conditions- How people are reacting

Core conditions of safety

Mutual Purpose- Are we working towards the same goal

Mutual Respect- Do they feel valued and dignified

C.R.I.B.

Commit to Mutual Purpose

Recognize the real goals

Invent a mutual purpose

Brainstorm new strategies

A.N.I.M.E.

Assert the facts

Narrate your story

Invite the others perspective

Mention tentatively

Encourage testing

Contrasting

Clarify what you dont mean

Affirm what you do mean