Chapter 2: Choices in responding to conflict

Difference between conflicts and disputes

not all conflicts involve disputes, but a dispute always involves conflicts and is made up of 3 elements

Conflict is the result of

incompatible aspirations

Aspirations

hopes and desires that develop from our underlying interests

Positive functions of conflict

releases tension

promotes growth

regulates distance between people

acts as path to intimacy and personal gain

prevents stagnation

Problem with imposed conflict solutions

suppresses needs and aspirations of disputants

causes individual problems to intensify

Dispute results from aspirations combined with the following 3 criteria

perceiving incompatible aspirations

blaming opposition as injury

claiming redress for injury

Seeing conflict as problematic leads to the belief that

an authoritative 3rd party should resolve it

Seeing conflict as symptom of unmet aspirations is more likely to lead to wanting dispute resolution to

clarify, examine, and incorporate aspirations into the solution

seeing disputants as the ones who know their aspirations and are best equipped to state their needs and interests

Two most common responses to conflict

argumentative approach

cooperative problem solving

4 responses to conflicting aspirations

ignoring

yielding

contending

cooperative problem solving

Contending aka

argumentative approach

Ignoring

disputant ignores or avoids the conflict and shows they don’t consider their aspirations worth the confrontation

Object of ignoring

not to participate/engage

Yielding

disputant accepts the other party’s aspirations as more important than their owon

Object of yielding

to participate and then give up

Contending

each disputant uses combative techniques to contend the other side’s aspirations

each seeks to fulfill their respective aspirations

Object of contending

to win

Cooperative problem solving

everyone focuses on each side’s aspirations to find a mutually beneficial solution

Object of cooperative problem solving

for both parties to win

In argumentative approach, conflict is seen as

a problem that needs ending

Disputants in argumentative approach view conflict as - thinking which assumes there is only -

either/or

1 solution to a conflict

Steps of argumentative approach

each develops a thesis

each makes a case for their thesis

each adopts a stance for their thesis

competitive clash of ideas leading to synthesis of best of both positions

What rules are used when arguing with winning as the goal

rules of natural justice

Rules of Natural Justice (3 elements)

parties present their case

parties challenge/attack the other’s case

parties defend their case

What ACTUALLY happens in the argument process

each side becomes more rigid and adversarial and starts to work on either/or basis

Costs of argument approach

loss of trust

end of active listening

damage to relationship

leaves out the yielders

energy goes into justification

polarization of viewpoints

Cooperative problem solving sees conflict as

part of relationships and cultures

opportunity for change and growth

Cooperative problem solving moves from either/or to -

both/and

Both/and thinking assumes

there are multiples solutions

Energies of disputants in cooperative problem solving go into

increasing awareness of the other side and finding mutually beneficial solutions

Features of cooperative problem solving

trust

awareness

brainstorming

5 principles of cooperative negotiation were developed by

Fisher, Ury, and Patton and Harvard Faculty of Law

5 principles of cooperative negotiation

separate people from the problem

focus on interests, not positions

invent options for mutual gain

use objective criteria

BATNA

BATNA

best alternative to the negotiated agreement

Benefits of cooperative approach (leads to both/and thinking which in turn…)

each frame of reference is validated

possibility of mutually beneficial solution through creativity