[ACT 2] John Dodge Middletown Lines

Female Doctor: How are you feeling?

Okay, I think.

Female Doctor: Good. Sorry. This is difficult.

I know. What is?

Female Doctor: Well, we don’t know each other. Of course. So it’s hard to know how to begin.

Are you going to try? I know what you’re thinking. I’m not this kind of person.

Female Doctor: What kind of person?

I’m normally just a face in the crowd. In fact, I’m normally just home, by myself. Just a face in my house. Which is fine, normally. I don’t think that — I don’t know.

Female Doctor: Go ahead, what were you going to say?

Maybe I’m imbalanced. Or, I was. But I don’t think I’m suicidal, deep-down. Even though, I mean, here I am, yes. And I think I’m probably making you feel uncomfortable.

Female Doctor: I’m sure that’s a little true. Thank you for your consideration. It’s complicated.

It is. I didn’t know what I was doing. It was like this cloud came over me, this big dark idea.

Female Doctor: And that was what?

That I wanted to be an emergency, somehow. I always felt like one, deep-down. I’ve got all these weird problems. I get nervous in certain weather. Sunlight reminds me of this great woman I knew. My heart races, I get these twitches in my elbow, my mind races. It always scared me there was even a word: Suicide. It scared me they even had a word for it. And then, suddenly, there I am, you know, on my kitchen floor, like a crazy person, right in the thick of that word.

Female Doctor: Forgive me, but, you used some kind of a knife?

A house-painting tool. Like, a scraper thing.

Female Doctor: That sounds dirty.

What do you mean?

Female Doctor: That it might have had dirt on it. Germs.

Maybe. Probably. I pictured everybody with their eyes all red, saying funeral stuff like, “We hardly knew him.” And, in reality, they really didn’t. I never thought I’d have a lonely life. I do, it turns out. Like, medically lonely. Like I’ve got sad genes. Like, what’s that word? I don’t know. I’m sure there is one.

Female Doctor: I’m sorry.

Please don’t worry. I know I’m not crazy. I’m just sad. And not even that much, right now. I even feel hungry. That must be a good sign. I keep explaining, but - I wanted to see if I had a survival instinct. It was a stupid way to find out, but I did. And I’m glad. And I’m better, I think. Not fine, but, better.

Female Doctor: That’s the thing.

It really is. What do you mean?

Female Doctor: Well, we’re not sure. Now, I just want to take a look at this.

It smells really bad.

Female Doctor: That’s bacteria. It could just be topical. But we’re concerned. We’re worried you might have something serious.

Me?

Female Doctor: An infection. We want to be cautious.

Okay. Is “we” you and me?

Female Doctor: All of us here. We might need to do a biopsy. I’ll have them dress this again.

Isn’t there something you can give me?

Female Doctor: We have you on an anti-toxin named Neovitamole. This is just a precaution, but, is there anyone you want us to contact?

Can you give me more of that stuff, just to make sure?

Female Doctor: You’re at the maximum. It’s doing what it’s going to do.

What’s it doing? What do I have?

Female Doctor: I don’t want to overwhelm you with details. You’re showing signs of an infection, which we’re trying to identify, and then, when we do, we can treat it.

I’m having some trouble with my legs. And, my stomach’s been… I’ve had diarrhea.

Female Doctor: They told me. It can also strain breathing, which is the big danger, if it’s what we’re worried about.

It’s curable, though, right?

Female Doctor: MONOLOGUE. …there are other treatments. Some are somewhat radical, but they’ve been effective.

What are they? No, forget it. You’ll tell me when you tell me. What happens when you die?

Female Doctor: You don’t need to think about dying.

But what happens? Do you think.

Female Doctor: MONOLOGUE. So we don’t know. I was just speaking with a patient who’s about to give birth.

I guess that about covers it.

Female Doctor: Those are just two events. There’s a lot in between.

I’ve always been afraid that shame would be the last thing I felt on Earth. No angelic stuff, no light - just weird pain, and shame that I was sick. And that I’d feel alone, no matter who was there. I’ve always been afraid of that. And now I just don’t want to die like some dirty animal, with my teeth showing and some crazy look in my eye. I’m sorry to talk like this.

Female Doctor: MONOLOGUE. I think it’d be good for you to meet with her. Just to talk.

I’d like that. I guess this is a real irony. Me being here. How I got here.

Female Doctor: MONOLOGUE. “The sun doesn’t know it’s hot, right? It just goes around being orange.”

I don’t want to die. God. I don’t want to be in a hospital.

Female Doctor: It’s going to be okay.

Oh, it is? For who? I’m getting this wave. I feel sick. I’m sorry. I think I’m going to be sick.

Female Doctor: I can walk you to the bathroom, but it’s better to stay still. Use this, if you need it.

Is this the medicine or the thing?

Female Doctor: The nausea? It could be both.

When is it supposed to… God…

Female Doctor: Just try to relax. Try to breathe. We’re doing everything we can do.

I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be sick. Okay. All right. I think I’m all right. Sorry. I’m sorry.

Female Doctor: I’m going to get you something for your stomach. Ring if you need anything or if there’s any change.

I made a mistake.

Female Doctor: Don’t worry about that. Just think ahead. Think about simple true things.

Okay. I’ll try. The sun is orange.

Female Doctor: That’s the spirit. Think of good things. I’ll come through again soon.

I’m thinking of good things.

Mrs. Swanson: John? I don’t believe it.

Mary. Hi. Wow. Let me sit up.

Mrs. Swanson: Oh, no. Look at you. What happened?

A couple things. Look at you. I could ask you the same thing.

Mrs. Swanson: This is so funny. I kept thinking I’d see you.

I know, me too. I was always looking. I thought I saw you a couple times.

Mrs. Swanson: I almost called when it was so rainy. Remember all that rain? Our basement flooded.

I almost called you, a few times. I’d, I don’t know, I had really thought we’d have more of a relationship.

Mrs. Swanson: Well, we did. We do.

Not a relationship, but, I mean, just, I don’t know, I thought I’d see you.

Mrs. Swanson: And, here I am. Ta da!

I mean before. I guess I just thought we had a chance.

Mrs. Swanson: A chance of what?

Oh, I don’t know. Just a chance.

Mrs. Swanson: Well, I guess we always do, right?

You’re nice. You’re so big. You look really great.

Mrs. Swanson: Today’s the last day, I hope. What about you? Are you okay?

Yeah, no, I’m fine, it’s just something stupid. I cut myself.

Mrs. Swanson: Making a birdhouse or a canoe or something? One of your projects?

No, just, I don’t know, around the house.

Mrs. Swanson: Do you have a cold?

Do I sound stuffed up? I think I’m just tired. Good place to get some quiet, anyway.

Mrs. Swanson: I don’t know how quiet it’ll be for me.

Oh, you’ll be great. It’s really nice to see you. Wow. This is going to be dumb. Don’t make fun of me.

Mrs. Swanson: What?

Mary, sorry, can you hold me? Just for a - can I hold you?

Mrs. Swanson: I’m not sure how holdable I am. But I can give you a hug.

Mary.

Mrs. Swanson: It’s good to see you.

It feels really good to see you. The people are nice here, but I don’t really know anyone. So is your husband here?

Mrs. Swanson: Can you believe it, he isn’t. He’s trying to get a flight, right now. Oh, no - you cut your hand? What did you do?

It was stupid.

Mrs. Swanson: Oh, John - did you do this?

Partly, yeah - I don’t know. Yes.

Mrs. Swanson: Why? That’s a stupid question, I’m sorry. But, why?

A couple things. A lot of things. It was a mistake.

Mrs. Swanson: God. I wish I’d known. I don’t know what I could have done, but… I just wish…

Yeah. I wanted to call. I don’t know what I would’ve said. But, I’m all right. If Bob doesn’t make it, I can try to be there, in the delivery room. If you need someone.

Mrs. Swanson: That’s really sweet. I don’t want to be alone in there. It might not be good, though, because you’re… if it turns out you do have a cold.

Okay. But, I don’t think I do.

Mrs. Swanson: It’s really nice of you to offer. I’m sorry, I’ve got a lot on my mind.

Yeah.

Mrs. Swanson: It’s so good seeing you. They said activity was good. I was walking up and down the halls.

I know, I can’t believe it. All these time. I mean, all these months.

Mrs. Swanson: The sink still drains like a dream. Remember you unclogged our sink?

Hey, Mary.

Mrs. Swanson: Hey. You need some rest. And, John, I should keep walking. They say activity is good.

Sorry. God, I’m really tired. They’ve got me on this really serious stuff - it makes me so sleepy. It’s so great that… Good old Mary.

Mrs. Swanson: MONOLOGUE. …you’ll love this: we think we’re going to name him John.

All right, Mary. It’s really good to - I keep saying that, sorry. See you later, Mary.

Mrs. Swanson: MONOLOGUE. Someone? Somebody? I’m sorry, hello!?

Was someone… hello? Hey, I’m standing.

Scene 8 - Mrs. Swanson: I will, thanks. I’m not alone. *Scene 9 starts*

I’m sorry. Am I not supposed to be….

Cop: MONOLOGUE. …I came to your house when the ambulance was there.

Sorry, I thought I was in the wrong room. I remember. It was busy, but I remember you.

Cop: MONOLOGUE. …you’ll agree to get some help, some counseling.

Thank you.

Cop: Does that sound all right?

Have you talked to them, here?

Cop: No. Why?

I don’t know.

Cop: Does it sound all right?

Okay.

Cop: Look at these. They need to be signed. The address to send them to is up at the top. Are you feeling better?

I think I’m losing my voice.

Cop: Well, you were a real mess. You look better.

Did you tell Stephanie?

Cop: Who’s Stephanie?

I don’t know. I’m sorry. She’s from when I was little. I don’t hear any voices in my head. Should I be hearing any voices?

Cop: Are you all right?

I think so.

Cop: Just rest up and listen to your doctors.

I will.

Cop: Life can get tough. It’s tough for everyone. You know that, right?

Yeah.

Cop: I get moody. I get sad. People don’t think of cops as moody. Look at all this stuff I have to walk around with.

It’s a lot of stuff. I just want to be a regular living person.

Cop: You will. I have to be back for something else, tomorrow. I’ll stop in.

Stephanie is from when I was little. I was little.

Cop: Stephanie. Okay. I’ll have them stop in and check on you, okay? Have a look at those papers and send them back.

Are you leaving?

Cop: Yeah, I’ve got to go. See you later.

Okay.

Cop: MONOLOGUE. They said you’re good with stuff like that.

Yeah, I like stuff like that.

Cop: Well, then, get better. I think they give you a uniform or something.

That’d be good. I like working outside.

Cop: All right, then. I’ll see you later.

Bye.