Nettles V.S My Father Would Not Show Us V.S A Child To His Sick Grandfather

Masculinity in Nettles

• lexical field of war: connotations of traditional masculinity (fierce parade, fallen dead…)

• ‘went outside and slashed in fury with it’: anger and instinctual rage emphasises his role as a protector → associated with a father/masculine role

Masculinity in My Father would Not Show Us

• ‘my father would/could not show us how to die’

  → Fathers often teach children how to do things; like Nettles, he wants to protect.

  → It’s WEAK to show vulnerability, WEAK to die.

• ‘he hid away’ ‘he turned away’ criticism of the father for hiding, for not confronting the problem (one stereotype of men is that they are going to fight)

Understanding in Nettles

• ‘my son would often feel sharp wounds again’ by the end of the poem, the father realises + begins to understand that he can’t stop his son from getting hurt.

  → contrasts with the middle/start of the poem: ‘soothed him until his pain was not so raw’ - can try to control it, but is unable to.

Understanding in My Father Would Not Show Us

• ‘My father could not show us how to die’ by the end of the poem, the narrator realises that his parents (esp. the father) are fallible: they’re human and can make mistakes.

  → Contrasts with ‘my father would not show us how to die’- the narrator believed the father was perfect and had a choice.

• As the poem goes on, understanding is growing: fragmented and short phrases at the start- long and complex sentences by the end.

Possession and Control in Nettles

• ‘My son’ ‘My billhook’ use of possessive pronouns emphasises father’s desperation to maintain control.

  → ‘I took my billhook’ resorts to violence that seems like a way to gain control.

Possession and Control in My Father Would Not Show Us

• ‘My father’s face/five days dead/is organised for me to see’ 1st person possessive pronoun emphasises a sense of personal loss.

  → death is natural: organised seems paradoxical.

• ‘Last time I am allowed’ loss of control, no longer can do things as she wishes → no control of outcome.

Intimate moments in family relationships in My Father Would Not Show Us

• De Kok describes an intimate moment when the child views their father’s body in a mortuary: ‘My father’s face/five days dead’ as well as through the 1st person plural pronoun ‘us’- referring to the family in the title.

• Uses sensory references to highlight the strange + painful moment: ‘it’s cold in here’

  → also could reflect practicality (prevents decay)→ reflects sense of the body being ‘organised’ as mentioned previously.

• Uses line length + rhythm to convey deep emotion: caesurae break rambling thoughts: ‘but not the soft, for some reason / unfrozen collar of his striped pyjamas’

All poems depict intimate moments in family relationship

Through poignant speakers reflect on the family relationship.

Intimate moments in family relationships in Nettles

• Scandell describes a tender moment, but here it’s a moment when parents care for their son’s injury: ‘we soothed him’

• Scannell also uses imagery to describe the sad moment the ‘boy came seeking comfort’

  → Scannell emphasises the boy’s innocent fragility w. descriptions of pain as ‘white blisters beaded on his tender skin’

• Scannell also creates an emotional reader by disrupting the reader with enjambment and caesurae: ‘Till not a nettle in that fierce parade / Stood upright anymore. And then I lit’

• Scannell shows the parents’ patience and commitment: ‘At last he offered us a watery grin’

Complex feelings of love in My Father Would Not Show Us

• A symbolic poem which alludes to problems in the relationship.

  → title suggests the family is unable to express their emotions.

  → speaker describes how the father ‘hid, he hid away./ Behind the curtains where his life had been.’

  • the curtain could either refer to the hospital or his emotional distance from the family.

• Explores the speaker’s frustration by suggesting regret at what ‘might have been’.

  → describes an alternate childhood that is ‘louder’, ‘braver’

• Ending the poem without resolution conveys de Kok’s message about unspoken feelings. Speaker cannot grieve and talk to her father.

Complex feelings of love in Nettles

• Scannell uses metaphorical imagery related to the military to show damaging forces in a relationship.

  → the speaker describes a ‘regiment of spite’ and ‘tall recruits’ - referring to the plant.

• Scannell describes his speaker’s regret and frustration: ‘slashed with fury’, ‘not a nettle’ and they lit ‘a funeral pyre’.

• Nettles concludes w. an emotional and melancholy speaker: ‘My son would often feel sharp wounds again’

All poems explore complex feelings of love

The poets present speakers who are frustrated in their relationships + feel powerless to change them

My Father Would Not Show Us shows an isolated child reflecting on the death of their parent.

• a form of elegy: the speaker’s mixed emotions are repressed in free verse.

• The speaker’s sense of isolation is conveyed with the passive nature of the poem:

  → the father simply ‘lay’

  → the speaker’s resignation in lines like ‘half-expected this inverted face’

• Ingrid de Kok’s poem presents the perspective of a child who is unable to form a close bond with their father.

The dramatic monologue, Nettles, presents the intense love of a parent

• In contrast, Scannell’s poem is one compressed stanza, conveying the parent’s controlled voice.

• Scannell described the furious actions of his speaker using deathly imagery + alliteration.

  → the speaker builds a ‘funeral pure to burn the fallen dead’

• Scannell examines a parent’s futile attempts to protect and care for their child.

While Ingrid de Kok, presents an isolated child reflecting on their father, Scannell’s dramatic monologue presents the intense love of a parent.

Ingrid de Kok alludes to a reserved and emotionless father, while Scannell’s poem and extended metaphor describe the strength of a father’s bond.

Intimate moments in family relationships- A Child to his Sick Grandfather

• Baillie presents a child speaker’s touching address to their father: ‘You used to smile and stroke my head.’

• Baillie emphasises the loved one’s vulnerability and weakness: adjectives are paired like ‘old’ and ‘frail’ and ‘wan’ and ‘hollow’

  → speaker also draws attention to his ‘scant’ white hairs

• Baillie’s poem is a long address to a grandfather, implying patient, devoted love.

  → speaker insists they will comfort the grandfather ‘when the weary fire turns blue’ and ‘when you wake’

The pain that comes from deep bonds - A child to his sick grandfather

• Baillie describes the impact of the grandfather’s poor health on the community:

  → the speaker describes ‘good men’ who ‘kneel, and say their prayers’

  → They say ‘gossips’ ask after him and that ‘everybody looks so sad’

• Baillie conveys the speaker’s frustration w. a rhetorical quesion: ‘You will not die and leave us then?’

  → they use the imperative tone to instruct the grandfather ‘Rouse up and be our dad again.’

• Baillie ends her poem with a sense of sadness at the inevitability of life: ‘Down on your bosom sinks your head-/You do not hear me, dad.’

The pain that comes from deep bonds - Nettles

• Scannell uses metaphorical imagery related to the military to show the impact of external forces on a relationship.

  → speaker describes a ‘regiment of spite’ and ‘tall recruits’

Baillie portrays hopeful innocence in A Child to His Sick Grandfather

• Baillie’s child speaker brings a light-hearted quality to the poem.

  → Rhyme scheme is rhythmic and bouncy or exuberant.

  → Half-rhyme reflects a childlike lack of sophistication such as the cheeks and breaks.

• Baillie’s speaker gently reassures the grandfather, offers their company and assistance and tells adventure stories to keep him alert.

• Baillie’s speaker is optimistic and resolute: a refrain repeatedly engages the grandfather, for example, ‘You love a story, dad?’

Scannell’s poem explores feelings of hopelessness and futility in Nettles

• portrays a tense, frustrated speaker. The poem is one compressed stanza, suggesting control.

  → the speaker is matter-of-fact

  → caesura creates tension. ‘It was no place for rest. With sobs and tears.’

• Scannell describes the furious actions of the speaker using dark imagery: the speaker builds ‘a funeral pyre to burn the fallen dead’

• Scannell examines a parent’s futile attempts to protect and care for their child: personification suggests a feeling of powerlessness against the ‘busy sun and rain’

Baillie’s conversational tone is cheerful and unwavering,

while Scannell’s extended metaphor is a sophisticated yet detached reflection on family love.

Changes in a family relationship - A child to his sick grandfather

• baillie’s poem explores the ageing process:

  → imagery draws attention to the grandfather’s weakened condition.

  → his ‘strength’ was ‘fled’ and now he is ‘frail’ and ‘bended’ with ‘thin white hairs’

• Baillie’s speaker describes their grandfather as they sit and comfort them: portrays an intimate moment when the older generations must care for the younger generations.

• The poem is nostalgic: ‘You used to smile and stroke my head’ - emphasises change ‘But now’…’seldom’ takes him on his knee

Changes in a family relationship - My Father would not show us