Duck's phase model

Phase model of relationship breakdown

An explanation of the stages people go through when their relationship is not working. Developed by Duck

Once one partner is dissatisfied there are 4 phases in the process each with a different focus:

1. Intra-psychic

2. Dyadic

3. Social

4. Grave dressing

Intra-psychic phase

Focuses on cognitive processes occurring within the individual.

Dissatisfied partner worries about their reasons and centres around their partner’s shortcomings.

Mulls their thoughts over privately and may share them with a trusted friend.

Weighing up the pros and cons and evaluate these against the alternatives.

Dyadic phase

Focuses on interpersonal processes between the 2 partners where there comes a point when they cannot avoid talking about their relationship. Series of confrontations where the relationship is discussed and dissatisfactions are aired.

Characterised by anxiety, hostility, complaints about lack of equity and resentment over imbalanced roles.

2 possible outcomes - Determination to continue breaking up the relationship, Renewed desire to repair it. If the rescue attempts fail, another threshold is reached.

Self-disclosures may become deeper and more frequent in this phase as partners express thoughts and feelings they had been withholding in the intra-psychic phase.

Social phase

Focuses on the wider processes involving the couple’s social network. Break-up is made public.

Partners will seek support and try to make pacts. Mutual friends are expected to choose a side.

Some friends provide reinforcement and reassurance but others will place the blame on one partner or the other.

Some may hasten the end of the relationship by giving secret information. Others may pitch in and try to help repair the relationship.

Grave dressing phase

Focuses on the aftermath. When the relationship is dead people bury it by ‘spinning’ a favourable story about the breakdown for public consumption.

Allows the partners to save face and maintain a positive reputation at the expense of the other partner by showing them in a bad light.

Crucial that each partner tries to retain some social credit by blaming circumstances, the partner or other people. Everything but themselves.

Also involves creating a public story you can live with which may differ from the public one.

S Duck

The model suggests ways in which relationship breakdown can be reversed

The model recognises that different repair strategies are more effective at some points in the breakdown than others.

Recommends that people in the intra-psychic phase can be encouraged to focus their worrying on the positive aspects of their partner.

Any attempt to improve communication and wider social skills in the dyadic phase can be beneficial in having greater stability.

These insights can be used in relationship counselling to help couples

W Rollie

Incomplete explanation of breakdown.

Added a ‘resurrection phase’. Ex-partners apply the experience from their old relationships into new ones.

Argued that progression from 1 phase to the next is not inevitable because it is possible to return to an earlier phase.

The processes that occur in relationship breakdown are more important than linear movement from 1 phase to the next.

The original model does not account for the complexity of breakdown and its dynamic nature.

W Outdated due to social media

A lot relationships end through ghosting (sudden end of communication) which is easier through blocking on social media.

Gili Freedman found that 25.3% of their American sample reported having experienced ghosted and 21.7% had ghosted someone.

Suggests that Duck’s phase model may not fully explain how breakdown occurs.