MODULE 1 — ATTENDING AND EMPATHY SKILLS (ITC)

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attending behavior

supporting your client with individually and culturally appropriate verbal following, visuals, vocal quality, and body language/facial expression.

listening

the core skill of attending behavior and is central to developing a relationship and making real contact with clients.

3 V’s + B

Visual/eye contact, Vocal qualities, Verbal tracking, Body language/facial expression.

visual/eye contact

look at people when you speak to them.

vocal qualities

communicate warmth and interest with your voice; tone and speech rate affect message and comfort.

verbal tracking

track the client’s story, stay on the client’s topic.

body language/facial expression

be authentic—face the client squarely, lean slightly forward, use gestures, and smile to show warmth.

attending and disabilities

modify attending behaviors to accommodate people with disabilities; focus on the person, not the disability.

people with hearing loss or deafness

address the client directly, maintain eye contact, and speak clearly and naturally.

body language and culture

interpersonal distance varies by culture; gender, personality, age, and topic affect comfort levels.

authenticity in counseling

your authentic self is central to the helping relationship; use skills genuinely and with respect.

verbal tracking example

staying with the client’s topic encourages deeper sharing; avoid introducing a new topic too soon.

selective attention

focusing on essential stimuli during counseling; helps shape the direction of the session.

silence

can be supportive and healing; shows respect and patience when used appropriately.

talk time

clients should generally talk more than counselors, depending on their needs.

empathy (Carl Rogers)

listening carefully, entering the client’s world, and showing understanding of their experience.

subtractive empathy

gives less than what the client expressed or distorts meaning.

basic (interchangeable) empathy

counselor’s response matches the client’s words and meaning.

additive empathy

counselor adds insight or perspective beyond what the client said, deepening understanding.

neuroscience and empathy

mirror neurons fire when observing or acting; empathy activates brain areas for emotion and reward.

attending skills

foundational and critical in all counseling; returning to these skills stabilizes challenging sessions.

samurai effect

mastery requires detailed and repeated practice; natural talent must be nurtured through effort.

intentional practice

practice changes your body and brain; short-term intensity can’t replace long-term commitment.