Interpersonal Relationships chapter 2

love

has a positive effect on physical and mental well-being (people who are in love tend to be happoer and have better health)

romantic love

intense feelings, strong physical attraction, idealize partner. men fall in love quicker than women

lust

sexual desire and is biologically driven

infatuation

focuses on the loss of reason related to attraction. sill or foolish

realistic love (conjugal love)

grows over time, based on companionship and security, married love

marry for love?

40% of the world does not marry for love

ludic love style

love is a game where the player has no intention of getting serous, carefree, casual love

Breadcrumbing

entice the person through text messages, winks, and promises of hanging out, as a ludic lover

Pragma love style

logical and rational- seleced based on what is practival

eros love style

opposite of pragmatic, intense emotional attachment and sexual attraction (romantic love)

mania love style

obsession, jealousy, emotionally dependent on partner, out of control love

storge love style

companionate love, affectionate companions, friends, nonsexual

agape love style

compassionate love, focus on the well-being of the person who is in love, unselfish

five love languages

gifts, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and words of affirmation

arranged marriage

parents/family plays key role in selecting spouse

seen as a union of 2 families and love is expected to come after marriage

evolutionary love theory

love bonds parents to each other and children so they take care of offspring

learning theory of love

positive experiences create love feelings. we learn from family how to love

sociological theory of love

one’s social context is the source of learning the meaning, expression and objects of love

psychosexual theory of love

love results from blocked biological drive

biochemical love theory

hormones are related to emotional bonding. oxytocin “cuddle chemical” PEA gives people that high they feel in love

conditions for love

reciprocal liking, personality qualities, self-esteem, and self-disclosure

perception of reciprocal liking

one perceives that he or she is desired by someone else, increases attraction toward that person

personality qualities

viewing the partner as intelligent or having a sense of humor. things that make the lover want to be with the beloved

self-esteem

high self-esteem enables individuals to feel worthy of being loved

self-disclosure

need to be vulnerable with partner to fall in love

keeping love alive across time

select your partner carefully, drop your expectations, expect unpredictable life events, keep yourself happy and healthy, support your partner’s interests, nurture emotion and engagement, plan and execute new activities, be responsible

love problems

unrequited love, risky decisions, keeping the love when hit bumps, others disapprove, simultaneous loves, gaslighting, emotionally abusive relationships, romance fraud.

unrequited or unreciporcated love

one-sided love, someone dosen’t love you us much as you love them

simultaneous loves

being in love with two or more people at the same time while in a monogamous relationship

romance fraud

making contact with an emotionally vulnerable person, flaunting one’s wealth, and then expressing a need for immediate cash

jealousy

emotionally response to a perceived or real threat to an important or valued relationship

reactive jealousy

feelings that a response to something a partner in doing, texting a former lover

anxious jealousy

obsessive ruminations about the partner’s possible cheating

possessive jealousy

attacking the partner or person to whom the partner is showing attention to

causes of jealousy

external- emotional or sexual interest in someone else or lack of emotional or sexual interest in the primary partner

internal- predisposed because a past relationship

gender and jealousy

women repost higher jealousy than men, straight men more jealous when sexual infidelity then when emotional cheating

compersion

thought of as the opposite of jealousy, is the approval of a partner’s emotional and sexual involvement with another person

polyamory

multiple loves, consensually having more than 1 lover (emotional and sexual)

swinging

when married couple agree that each will have recreational sex but emotional bond just with each other

alexithymia

person does not experience or convey emotion “lack of words for emotions”

triangular theory of love

love is made of passion, intimacy, and commitment

passion

physical attraction- infatuation

intimacy

emotional bond- liking

commitment

empty love determined to stay in relationship

consummate love

complete love, consists of all 3 parts (passion, intimacy, and commitment)