Thanatology - Psychology - Chapter 12 - Interpersonal Skills

Besides good interpersonal skills, what else is essential to a good counselor?

• It is not only necessary to have good interpersonal skills but it is imperative to communicate this respect, warmth, genuineness, integrity, and sincerity to the client.
• They can hear what you’re saying, but that doesn’t mean it’s believable.

Define Verbal Communication. Give Examples.

• Spoken, Oral communication
• Tone of voice
• Talking Speed
• Voice Inflections

Define Non-Verbal Communication. Give Examples.

• That which is expressed by posture, facial expression, actions or physical behavior, communication by any other means than
verbally.
• Smiling
• Frowning
• Gestures
• Facial expression
• Eye movement
• Body position, movement

Why does a counselor observe the client as they analyze both types of communication? What is the difference between the analysis?

• While client is analyzing the verbal and non-verbal cues, the counselor is also observing the client for these external manifestations of their internal feelings and emotions.
• Big difference is that the client’s analysis is usually on a subconscious level while the counselor is trained to be aware of the subtle and not so subtle components of communication

Define attending skills. Give examples.

• Giving undivided attention by means of verbal and non-verbal behavior
• Other methods of letting the client know she is being understood and empathized with

Describe active listening. Is this an important technique?

• Attentively listening to the words a client says, observing the nonverbal clues such as eye contact, posture, facial expressions, gestures, and being sensitive to the tone, inflexion, speed, and intensity of what is being said.

• Verbal and non-verbal communication should be consistent with each other
• Contradictions in verbal/non-verbal are cues that further exploration is necessary

Describe paraphrasing.

• Focusing on, and repeating back to the client, the key words used; usually the most important part of what was said.
• This lets the client know that you heard and understood what was said in a shortened or alternative form.

Describe reflecting.

• The Counselor expressing in fewer or fresh words the essential feelings stated or strongly implied by the counselee in their words or non-verbal communication.
• Uses opening statements such as
• You seem to feel
• Sounds like
• I sense you are feeling
• Followed by a question:
• Is that right?
• Is that close?

Describe clarifying.

• The process of getting a better understanding of something the
client has said. This increased understanding cannot always be
obtained just by paraphrasing or reflecting.
• More direct approach than paraphrasing or reflecting

Describe Perception checking.

• Similar to clarifying
• Counselor needs further explanation from the client to ensure they completely understands what was said.

Describe leading.

• Skill of encouraging the client to further explore what you feel is a major issue, more or less anticipating where the client is going.

Describe Questioning.

• Using skillful probing questions to clarify the counselor’s understanding but also aids the client in exploring their thoughts and feelings.
• Use open ended questions which begin with How, What or Can.

Describe Informing.

• Sharing knowledge you have with the client
• Technique most funeral directors feel most comfortable with because they are expert about what is involved in funerals and
the families need to know this information

How should you being an open ended question?

You should begin an open-ended question with words that encourage a detailed response, such as:

"How..." (e.g., How do you feel about that?)

"What..." (e.g., What do you think led to that decision?)

"Why..." (e.g., Why do you believe that happened?)

"In what ways..." (e.g., In what ways has this experience changed you?)

"Tell me about..." (e.g., Tell me about your experience with that.)

These types of questions invite more than just a "yes" or "no" answer and encourage deeper discussion.

What are some additional helpful open ended phrases?

"Can you tell me about your loved one?"

"What has been the hardest part of this for you?"

"How has this loss affected your daily life?"

"What are some things that remind you of them?"

"How have your emotions changed over time?"

"What do you miss most about them?"

"Who or what has been most supportive for you during this time?"

"How do you usually cope with difficult emotions?"

"What are some ways you’ve been honoring their memory?"

"What would you want to say to them if you could?"

Describe Summarizing?

Bringing together the different aspects of your counseling session into a succinct review of what has occurred.

Why should you allow silence?

Silence gives the client and the counselor time to reflect and be aware of feelings.

What are some important things to consider with vocal style?

• Use natural voice
• Use non-threatening tone
• Don’t talk too fast or slow

What are some important things in regards to verbal following?

• Stay on the topic the client brings up
• Don’t interrupt
• Give client all the time they need to answer
• Do not preach or lecture
• Do not talk too much about yourself

How many types of non-verbal communication are listed in your book? List them and describe each: Eye contact

• Maintain eye contact but do not stare
• Be culturally sensitive
• Vary eye contact as necessary

How many types of non-verbal communication are listed in your book? List them and describe each: Body Posture

• Avoid slouching, but be relaxed
• Present open posture facing the client
• Lean forward to exhibit sincerity and interest
• Sit on the same level as the individual, do not stand over them

How many types of non-verbal communication are listed in your book? List them and describe each: Head Nods

Occasional head nods demonstrate agreement and encourage the client to continue to communicate.

How many types of non-verbal communication are listed in your book? List them and describe each: Facial Expressions

Appear natural, relaxed, and caring.

How many types of non-verbal communication are listed in your book? List them and describe each: Arm and Leg position

• Arms should be at your side or in a position to have your hands in your lap
• Do not cross your arms or legs in front of you

What are some negative non-verbal cues.

• Rigid body posture
• Taking notes
• Clock watching
• Letting your gaze wander

How many steps are involved with developing interpersonal skills? What are they related to?

Five steps to developing skills

What are the four categories the five skills are listed in?

Initial Learning, Uncomfortable use, Consciously Skilled,

List the steps involved in developing skills within each category and describe them: Initial Learning:

Stage 1: Awareness of ignorance

Ignorance is not negative – it means that the person is aware they need improvement

List the steps involved in developing skills within each category and describe them: Initial Learning:

Stage 2: Takes action and obtains education

• Usually this is the basic level.
• Some learners will take an advanced course after to increase their knowledge base

List the steps involved in developing skills within each category and describe them: Uncomfortable use

Stage 3: Starts the good, better, best analogy

• Beings trying out newly acquired skills
• There is awkwardness and discomfort as this is the “good” stage

List the steps involved in developing skills within each category and describe them: Consciously Skilled

Step 4: The better stage

• Individual feels more comfortable but is still practicing at a conscious level.
• “I will try this skill now and see how it works”
• Naturally skilled

List the steps involved in developing skills within each category and describe them: Consciously Skilled

Step 5: Best level of practice

• Effective and practicing the attending skills without even realizing it. It is natural and automatic.

Going through the steps takes what?

• Going from #1-#5 takes time, education, and experience.
• It means practicing, refining, modifying if necessary, and practicing some more.
• Continuing education will become a part of your life.
• Insert Chart from Page 78