Intimate Relationships-

FSOS 1101

What are the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse?

Criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, contempt

What is an example of Criticism in an intimacy dance?

attacking partner personality, attacking partner character, “you” vs “I” statements, kitchen sinking, generalizations, shaking finger, talking fast

What are the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse?

Criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, contempt

What is an example of Criticism in an intimacy dance?

attacking partner personality, attacking partner character, “you” vs “I” statements, kitchen sinking, generalizations, shaking finger, talking fast

What is an example of Defensiveness in an intimacy dance?

defending innocence, avoiding taking responsibility, making excuses, negative mind reading, cross-complaining, yes-but, whining, false smiles, folding arms, sarcasm

What is an example of Stonewalling in an intimacy dance?

refusing to respond or engage, rejecting, hostile silence, silent treatment, shrugging, shaking head 

What is an example of Contempt in an intimacy dance?

tearing partner down, aggressive disrespect to be hurtful, sneering, rolling eyes, curling lip, insults, name-calling, hostile humor, mockery, picking lint, playing with jewelry or phone

What are the main types of cheating?

Emotional, and sexual or both

What are the types of money management systems that couples often engage in?

Whole Wage, Allowance, Pooling, Partial Pooling, and Independent Management

What are the three main types of jealousy?

Reactive, Anxious, and Possessive jealousy

what are the main aspects of Reactive Jealousy?

Triggered by an actual event that leads to negative emotions (e.g. anger)

what are the main aspects of Anxious Jealousy?

Stems from ruminating and daydreaming about potential threats. Causes feelings of worry, suspicion, and distrust. 

what are the main aspects of Possessive Jealousy?

An individual purposefully works to prevent contact between their partner and ‘perceived threats.’ Can lead to isolation, violence, stalking.

What are the 7 steps to building a strong relationship?

Level 1- Building Love maps

Level 2- Share fondness and admiration

Level 3- Turn towards

Level 4- Positive perspective

Level 5- Manage conflict

Level 6- make life dreams and aspirations come true

Level 7- Shared meaning

What are some techniques that couples can use to better manage conflict?

• Soften start-ups

• Complain but don’t blame, and accept your partner’s flaws (avoiding contempt)

• “I” statements

• Recognize repair attempts

• Individual soothing techniques

• Seek a win/win outcome (not a win/lose outcome)

What are the five love languages?

Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch

What is one example of Words of Affirmation?

Saying I love you without prompting, compliments, building partner up with encouragement, etc

What is one example of Physical touch?

Hugging, kissing, holding hands, cuddling, etc

What is one example of Quality time?

Spending one on one time together, date nights, vacations with partner, being in a room together, etc.

What is one example of  Receiving gifts?

Gifts at birthdays/anniversaries, making something for the partner, random gifts from the partner, sharing items, etc

What is one example of  Acts of service?

Doing chores without having to offer, filling up gas in the car for partner, always helping when needed, offering help, etc

Describe Heterosexual?

A person who is attracted to the opposite gender/sex

Describe Homosexual?

A person who is attracted to the same gender/sex

Describe Cisgender?

A person who identifies with the sex assigned at birth

Describe Transgender?

A person who does NOT identify with the sex assigned at birth

Describe Asexual?

A person who feels little to no sexual attraction towards other people

Describe Bisexual?

A person who is attracted to two or more genders/sexes

true or false: Coming out is a one time event?

False

true or false: Families either accept or reject their LGBT+ child, as there is no nuance

False

true or false: LGBT+ parents are equally, or sometimes more, capable of raising children as heterosexual parents

True

What are the two major types of (long distance relationship) LDRs?

1. Adjusting commuters

2. Established commuters

What are three couple-level stressors and strains?

Potential answers: Loss of day-to-day intimacy, poor technology communication, so close/so far, spoiled time, “stranger effect”

What are three couple-level resources/coping strategies?

Potential answers: Compartmentalize, partner is friend, having relationship base/history, strong communication, variety of communication methods, high trust, attendance to sexual relationship, partner’s support