Clue - Mr. Boddy

Wadsworth: Mr Boddy.

How d’you do?

All: What?/Why?/The police?

Unless…

All: Unless what?

Unless you agree to double down.

Scarlet: And why would we agree to do that?

Because if you don’t, I’ll put this briefcase — containing all the evidence needed to expose your wrongdoings — into the hands of the police, the press, and the House Un-American committee. With the right spin, those fellas can make a commie outta anyone. I think some of you would face a lifetime in jail, and others, a lifetime in shame.

All: That’s why you brought us here?/You bastard!/Get that briefcase!

Unless…

All: Unless what?

Well, there is something you could do for me that would change the game. Something I just can’t bear to do myself.

All: What?

Have a seat, please.

Wadsworth: What’s this all about, sir?

In this bag, there are six packages that I thought our guests might find useful this evening.

Wadsworth: Packages?

Presents, if you will. I’m a generous sort of fellow.

Wadsworth: Are you?

Wadsworth, will you please see to it that each guest receives a gift?

Wadsworth: Gladly.

Anyone want to make a guess as to what’s in your boxes?

Peacock: A rare single-malt Scotch whiskey?

Aren’t guessing games fun? Please — open them.

White: Ahhhhh! A snake! Oh, no. It’s a rope.

In your hands you each have a lethal weapon. (gasp) You all came tonight because you believed the evidence against you was so terrible you would do anything to keep it a secret. I’m putting that theory to the test.

Wadsworth: You are?

Mr. Wadsworth here is the only other person who knows your secrets; and it’s costing us all dearly to keep him quiet.

Green: What do you mean?

I wouldn’t have to double your payments if I didn’t have to pay Mr. Wadsworth for his silence.

Wadsworth: That’s a lie!

He may look suave and charming…

Wadsworth: Thank you…

But really he’s conniving and manipulative.

Wadsworth: False!

Why do you think he’s called the police?

Wadsworth: Only because HE instructed me to do so!

Did I? Ladies and gentleman… if you can manage to get rid of Mr. Wadsworth, I’ll have no need to increase your blackmail or expose you to the police.

Peacock: Does he mean… kill him?

In fact, if you can eliminate Wadsworth…

Green: Yes, I think that’s what he means…

Who not only knows your secrets, but also mine— then I will eliminate your blackmail altogether and be done with this terrible business once and for all.

Green: Yeah!

Why should I when the six of you are so uniquely motivated… and armed?

Wadsworth: He’s a liar! I’m one of you! I’m not a butler! I’m an indentured servant!

A familiar refrain. Don’t make a scene, Wadsworth. It’s over. The police are on their way. Now’s your chance. The only way for you to end your blackmail and avoid finding yourselves on the front pages is for one of you to kill Wadsworth… now!