Catullus: Poem 85

odi et amo, quare id faciam, fortasse requiris

I both hate and love. How can I do that, you perhaps wonder

nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior

I don’t know, but I feel it happening and I am tormented

“odi et amo“ analysis

Catullus opens this poem forcefully and briefly. The short verbs are not embellished and appear to be opposites, setting up the whole premise of the poem

“quare id faciam“ analysis

Catullus is not ignorant over the source of these feelings, but the reason why he is being pulled apart by conflicting feelings

“faciam fortasse“ analysis

As the line continues, the force of the first two words seems to fade away. The alliteration softens the sounds, reflecting the softer and reflective sentiments

“requiris“ analysis

The reader/listener is given a role in the poem: we are a friend enquiring after Catullus

“nescio“ analysis

The second line opens as forcefully and briefly as the first. In this one blunt statement we understand that he has thought about the situation and is at a loss

Active passive verbs

Catullus begins poem with active verbs describing his behaviour (odi, amo, faciam, nescio, sentio) but as the poem ends, passive verbs are used (fieri, excrucior). This use of verbs shows how he’s passively becoming swept along, losing the ability to act and think for himself - faciam and fieri in both active and passive form

“excrucior“ analysis

The last word of the poem is violent and suggestive of physical pain. This verb was used to describe actual torture in the Roman world: Catullus is linking the way he is pulled apart by his emotions to a literal, physical pulling apart

Chiastic structure of the poem

Whole poem is arranged in a chiastic structure, bringing tension to the poem an a sense of a balanced pull in opposing directions. The negative and positive verbs at the beginning and end of the poem are in mirrored word order